this post was submitted on 20 Jul 2025
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Heading back down the beach today to tackle the unmentionable plant.
Had a few run ins w/ ol' girl over the last few days so time to give it a rest and let ol' boy decide what's next. Her weight has gone from 53kg -> 42kg over 5 weeks and I just cannot get that to turn around because of refusal. She has it all there, food, supplements, hubby is a doc, someone willing to cook whatever whenever. Makes me feel pretty bad that I just couldn't do it.
So pretty much looking at a PEG (feeding tube into tummy bypassing mouth / throat). Sounds bad but it's not really, the alternative is far worse.
Can't win them all.
Oh that's tough. She won't eat but will consent to a PEG?
This is what really worries me. I suspect she won't. Ol' boys' field so I'm staying out of it. I think that conversation is happening today.
Its a horrible spot to be in. She sounds incredibly strong and complex, and you're all trapped in this cycle of trying to do the best for her.
You've got a great grasp of what's going on with her, and realising when you need to stap back to protect your relationship and yourself.
There's not going to be a single simple answer for her, she is driving the bus while ignoring her long term needs and the people around her trying to provide support and direction. A PEG may just be the answer though. She can get the nutrition she needs to function and heal, without all the other pressures around food intolerances and dietary intake. But they're not great.... they leak, they change what clothing you can wear because the surgeons always put them in the wrong spot on women, they need replacing and there's trauma and pain with that.... its a tough spot to be in. You're doing an incredible job, if no one else is telling you that, we are.
Sincerely thank you for the kind words and your experiences. They are extremely helpful.