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Wow, that is quite the story. I have struggled with this question and how I would feel on either side of the equation. As a person who grew up in the conservative 90s who became a more balanced and freethinking person, I still have what might be an irrationally strong fear of STDs. This fear combined with religious conditioning around relationships kind of fucked up high school and early college for me. I was supposed to be boning the entire cheer leading team and I was learning about how angry Jesus was at my impure fantasies. My late 20s and 30s have been a lot better, but I still have a really hard time gaging risks and deciding how I feel about them so I tend to err on the side of being overly careful and miss a lot potentially great experiences with people. I think getting tested with a new partner is always wise.
One of the other commenters said "a lifetime of pills and difficult conversations". That's one of the scary places my mind might go to, but you could still reframe it as "I'm going to have get better at communicating needs and boundaries in my relationships, especially early on". That sounds less scary and more fulfilling. I still would like to avoid getting infected.
On a positive note, the fact that she was upfront and honest about it is a good sign. I'd tread carefully but if I really meshed well with the person abd saw a medium/long term future for us, I would probably try to figure something out to make myself more comfortable in the short term, like asking her to confirm she took her meds and using protection. If she cares about you and you make it about your feelings and not blaming her.
Lastly, none of us are perfect and you might have a few oddities she doesn't find particularly pleasant. Rejecting her for something that she can't change could make her feel like she's "not good enough" or "damaged" and even if you guys don't shaboink I wouldn't want a friend or crush to feel that way. That's the shit her ex did. I think it would be better to tell her how you feel about her (positive) and express that your apprehensive about the herpes thing.
Sorry for the wall of text. Thought about it a lot thanks to church school.
As some one who was also raised religious, I relate to this hard. Sex feels really scary, but at the same time it's something I'm really curious about. Any tips for dealing with that feeling?
I'm a tall, straight man and squarely middle class so your mileage may vary.
Lean into the discomfort. Discuss it openly with people. My best relationships were with woman who I was already able to talk about sex stuff with without turning bright red. This sounds like it is a hard place to get to, but that's the religious conditioning. Many people are open to talking about sex if they're comfortable and it's an appropriate environment. Not everyone feels the shame and worry because not everyone went through this.
Consider talking to a therapist or counselor if it's impacting your ability to function in the world how you want to. Churches are just "good" cults and some use very sketchy, manipulative tactics. It's not your fault you got sucked into it, and it's not too late to unlearn those things. Don't throw out any good things you got from church, I'm great in front of a crowd thanks to my time with religion.
Lastly, whips and chains may be scary, but some alternative lifestyle communities have classes or discussion groups that can show you the depth and variety of sexual expression without committing to actually participating and in a structured environment which can be a HUGE stress reliever for people.