this post was submitted on 12 Jul 2025
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Explain Like I'm Five

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This story seems to have faded in the wake of events ad nauseam. We are all aware of Senor Luigi. However, most folks can’t recall the full name of the guy that allegedly Luigi gunned down. Mission accomplished.

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[–] MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca 29 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (5 children)

I think the guy he allegedly killed, had a name that started with.... I think it was a d? David? Derek? Dddddouchebag. Douchebag, yeah. I think the person that died was a massive douchebag.

That seems right to me ....

[–] mambabasa@slrpnk.net 42 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Luigi didn't do it though. He's being set up by the prosecution.

[–] MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I know, I was certainly spending time with him during the alleged attack. He couldn't have done it while sat across from me at that diner, many miles away from where the crime happened.

[–] Forester@pawb.social 1 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca 3 points 1 month ago

You're thinking of dinner. A diner is a place that serves food.

[–] ipitco@lemmybefree.net -5 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Source? It sounds like a conspiracy theory based on nothing

What indicates that would be the case? Who would be the murderer?

[–] TherapyGary@lemmy.blahaj.zone 10 points 1 month ago (2 children)

There was no murderer. He died of natural causes

[–] irelephant@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 1 month ago

After all, shootings are just a natural part of life.

[–] devAlot@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I think the guy he killed

Allegedly 😉

[–] misteloct@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Downvoted only for the winky face. I earnestly believe the guy is innocent and unrelated

[–] devAlot@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

Oh shit same here, the winky face wasn't meant to imply otherwise. Was more like "hey now, let's be clear on what's what"

[–] MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca 3 points 1 month ago

Oh right, let me correct my wording.

Thanks.

[–] 6stringringer@lemmy.zip 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca 1 points 1 month ago

Did someone light a match? Is he being cremated?

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago
[–] Rakonat@lemmy.world -1 points 1 month ago

I'm pretty sure it was Bob. Or Brad. Billy? Bitchass! Yes it was definitely Bitchass.