this post was submitted on 10 Aug 2023
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Misgendering someone is transphobic in exactly the same way that calling them the n-word is racist. It means you are prejudiced against that person for what makes them different — in this case it just sounds like you believe trans people don’t exist or are mentally ill members of their birth gender.
So yes, it means you are transphobic and you should self-reflect on improving that.
What? Pronouns are not slurs in and of themselves, like the n-word is. They are perfectly fine to use and inoffensive in something like 97% of human interactions. The n-word is not.
How do they suddenly change to something as horrible as the n-word when you use the wrong one with someone you've never met before who outwardly presents as the pronoun you use, but internally has decided they are a different one?
There's a big problem where people use the term "misgendering" as equivalent to "intentional misgendering". One can be an honest mistake, the other is bigotry.
The n-word is not a slur “in and of itself” either; people can use it in non-pejorative situations… just as pronouns. The problem is the words being used to rob people of their dignity by invoking their minority status against them.
So yes, in that context, pronouns can be slurs against trans people.
No one is railing against “unintentional misgendering,” which happens to everyone. Though if you aren’t sure, non-gendered pronouns are a perfectly suitable alternative.
No, it's definitely a slur "in and of itself". You're fighting a losing battle here, you're 100% wrong.