I'll vent a bit here to get started. When I was 15 I was sexually assaulted by a woman and no one would believe me. Or if they did believe me, it was the "well what's the problem, was she ugly or something?" Usual spiel. I still have PTSD over this but I cannot speak of it to anyone because it's the same shit over and over again. When I was 16 my girlfriend put out her cigarette on me for the first time. This would continue for the next year and a half before I managed to leave her. I still have over a dozen scars inflicted by her.
I have an EXTREMELY hard time trusting anyone or forming attachments in general because of what's been done to me and I really don't have anyone to talk to about it other than my brother, who went through his own physical. When I was 21 I got into a mentally and emotionally abusive relationship and I let that go on for three years because I had been conditioned into thinking that it was normal, and I had to just "man up" and take it in my previous relationship so I considered the step down from physical abuse to be a bit of a blessing. It wasn't.
I wish I had had someone to tell me that none of this was okay, that I did not have to let myself suffer through these things, that just because I was a man did not mean that I was a free ride to whoever wanted me and I shouldn't compain because I "got some", that I am a human being who has feelings and emotions and should be allowed to express them without being threatened with physical harm.
I want everyone in this place to be that kind of person for everyone else in this place. I want this to be a place free of judgement to share the things that you can't share with others. And I want us to come together as a community to support everyone who comes here seeking help. Life fucking sucks but together we can make it a little less sucky.
I have a couple of friends but only one of them reached out to me when my ex left me. He was the one taking initiative and picked me up, took me for a drive in his car and we just talked. I could never have known how important this was and since then I feel safe with talking to him about pretty much anything. Always gives advice and thoughts about stuff.
It is really important to have someone you can talk to and it seems like there are a lot of people who doesn't have this in their life. You live your life and think that some stuff is normal while it isn't because you can't know better.
Sad that you had to live through all of this and hope that things turn better and that more people can have this place as a safeground and open up and get help.
I had a friend like that once. We lived on opposite sides of town from each other, and I didn’t have a working car at the time. But that never stopped him from coming to get me anytime I needed to get out of my house and away from my drama. He’d even let me crash on his couch for as long as I needed.
Anyway, I just wanted to lament on your comment, and agree with you how important someone like that can be for you; especially in a time of need.
Exactly. And I'm hoping this place can be an opportunity for people who don't have someone like that in their life to get some support and guidance they may be otherwise lacking