this post was submitted on 21 Jun 2025
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It's weird to act like this is a new thing from the show that gave us Boomhauer...
It's been a minute but there was a whole episode where we found out it wasn't so much Boomhauer being a womanizer, it was all the women using him as a casual hookup with zero strings.
That was already ethical nonmonagomy...
"Casual hookup with no strings" is a pretty narrow slice of ethical non monogsmy's options.
It would be cool to have the show show ENM in a positive, accurate, light. Most people think it's just like all shallow, or very hierarchical, but it doesn't have to be.
Doesn't have to not be either...
I understand you're trying to defend it here, but all you're doing is invalidating it.
I don't think I understand your message. What am I invalidating?
Well you seem to be saying it's only been shown in an inaccurate, negative light. Thus invalidating it as an aspect of ethical non-monogamy.
Oh. What I meant is when ENM shows up in media, it usually feels like it was written by people who don't know it very well. Like when hacking shows up in in movies. If you don't know anything about computers, it probably looks plausible. But if you do, you're probably going to be sitting there like "that's not how that works" or whatever.
Like, throuples are really rare in my experience. Two couples dating each other is also really rare. But they show up in media. The more common configuration of "A is dating B and C. B is also dating D. They're all friendly, and everyone takes their relationships seriously, but don't hang out much all together" doesn't show up often.
"Casual hook up with no strings" is one way to do ENM. it's valid if all parties buy in. But it's not the only way to do it. Many people have multiple relationships that run in parallel, but aren't casual. Or "kitchen table" poly where everyone knows everyone, but only to the degree that you know your friends' good friends. There's hierarchical and not. There's other options.
I can only think of a handful of media that had polyamory. Only one that did an interesting, believable, take on metamor relationships.
Writing this on my phone so it's a little disorganized, but hopefully made sense.
So less about accurate, positive light and more about an expanded view of what it means in general. Of course, in an accurate positive light, but that wasn't the argument you were trying to make.