this post was submitted on 12 Jun 2025
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As a Dad who doesn't want more pets, I'd just like to clear something up.
We don't dislike animals. Our heart doesn't grow three sizes when you bring one home and catch us cuddling with it two days later.
I fucking LOVE animals, and I will cuddle the fuck out of anything that would let me, but I also know that nobody else in the house will make sure it's fed and cleaned up after. So, no you can't bring another animal home because I've already got enough on my plate, but when you do it anyway, be prepared for it to be MY little buddy.
Exactly. I will add that as much as I love animals I really hate the loss of them to the point I basically don't want to get them each time. All the get lots of animals folks seem super heartless in some ways. Yeah your sad but not I never want to go through it again sad. I also feel guilty that I can never give the animals quite enough. Not enough walkies. Not giving them enough attention.
You gotta move on through the grief, accept that they're no longer with you, but that you gave them the best life you could. And maybe realize that giving another pet a good life doesn't mean you're replacing or forgetting your last one. Some people are just better at it than others, they aren't being heartless.
That said, people who get a new dog a week or two after their previous one died are insane to me. That just feels disrespectful.
I've told myself that the cats under my care are the top 1% of the 1% of animals. I would go as far as saying that they have it better than most of the 8B people on this planet. They have comfort, safety, abundance, and entertainment. I go the extra mile for them to ensure that they have a high quality of life.
When I have gotten another cat after one died, it was never a replacement. It was giving a home to cat who needed one. A cat sitting in a shelter waiting for their chance. And I tend to adopt animals that are harder to place due to age or other factors (e.g. "does not get along with dogs or kids") that are a non-issue for me.
Losing them is hard, but not adopting them doesn't prevent their eventual death. It just means that the death happens "off camera," and quite possibly much sooner.
This is how I operate too. Any cat in my care is me doing my part, never getting another animal because it would destroy the integrity of the legacy of the one I had previously?... Kinda seems self-defeating.
My current familiar is Nessa, a temperamental slightly-wild girl who will hard bite you if you don't know what you're doing with her, but I've held cats for almost 20 years now and I know what to do and what not to do to keep her from biting me. Someone else's house? Some meathead's house? A big house full of kids? She'd get thrown out in a month.
I have a cat similar to Nessa. She does very well in may home but would likely have issues in a different environment. Understanding cat body language and respecting boundaries is key.
Incidentally, she does get along great with other cats.