Feminism

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Feminism, women's rights, bodily autonomy, and other issues of this nature. Trans and sex worker inclusive.

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Feminism

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What Happens to the Stay-at-Home Girlfriend After a Breakup? (Spoiler: It's Tough...Financially) (www.cosmopolitan.com)

submitted 2 months ago by sculd@beehaw.org to c/feminism@beehaw.org

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At first, Luu felt okay with the situation. Her relationship was the healthiest one she’d ever been in, and “we just felt like we were married from the get-go,” she says. They combined finances, and Luu took on more of the household chores. But as time went on, her feelings changed. “I love keeping a clean space, I love cooking, and I love doing the homely duties. But after a while of being the only person contributing [to the housework], it’s like, Damn, if I was making money, I could just be doing this on my own and not have to take care of someone else,” she says. “But you know, he was contributing financially. So then it’s like, How can I speak on that? That internal conflict just got stressful.”

People with common sense probably know this already, but the right wing obsession with "trad wife" or "stay at home mom" often do not work in real life.

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[–] null_dot@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Everyone needs a plan B I guess. Making yourself dependent on someone else is obviously not a path to independence.

[–] FundMECFSResearch@lemmy.blahaj.zone 15 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (2 children)

_Deleteda

[–] sculd@beehaw.org 6 points 2 months ago

Right! That is why we need strong social protection just in case things don't work out!!

[–] null_dot@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 2 months ago

Sure, it's true that it's often not a choice (although I don't think that's who this article is talking about).

There's a lot I could say about this. I'm an accountant and see all of my clients personal / familial financial arrangements.

Very briefly, the law takes the view that any surplus wealth produced in the course of a romantic relationship belongs to both parties. Often / usually when a relationship ends both parties need to agree on how to split it up, but it's quite common to be acting on that dynamic during the relationship and ensuring that the non-working spouse is building savings / investments in the same way that the working spouse is.

In Australia this means that if one spouse is not working and one spouse is, the working spouse might contribute to the non-working spouses pension fund (401k?)