this post was submitted on 17 May 2025
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Working in retail has made me want to pick a job that never deals with people again, or at least members of the public. I know that dealing with people will be good for me, in that I can become more assertive and less of a people pleaser. HOWEVER, I simultaneously dislike that I'm drawn to 'helping' professions.
I want to be there for other people, but how much am I supposed to give before all I am is just someone who gives to others?
My strengths are that I'm patient, kind, caring and curious. These help me deliver good outcomes for customers. But again, there is only so much I can take. I find myself genuinely not wanting to deal with people anymore, but then I feel like I won't be living up to my potential and utilising my strengths.
So yeah, I think I've figured out why I'm so exhausted despite taking hardly any committed action. When I don't feel like I have purpose in my daily life, that's when I start to spiral.
I have been the person in the 2nd paragraph. It was fucking awful.
When I stopped giving everything to other people they bailed.
Be careful.
I don't mind giving if I receive nothing back because sometimes people aren't in a position to reciprocate.
It's when my actions are treated with contempt, as if I am a fool for giving, that I get annoyed. That is when I stop giving.
Same. And hugs.
And then I figured these qualities I have were exploited by family while at the same time I was never taught that life and love should be, could be reciprocal, that others should be there for me too.
Oddly it was the Bible that taught me!! I'm not that religious and I haven't read much but what I did read stuck. Hah, ironicaly I'm the only one in my fam that doesn't have a biblical naame either.
It was "A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another."
It is human and good to love one another. It is not human for only one person to do the loving.
Hugs ๐ซ You deserved to be loved as much as you give ๐ซถ
You too. ๐ซ