this post was submitted on 07 Apr 2025
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The Onion and other satire w/ layers

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Noting the volatility of various retirement products and the long-term uncertainty of global markets, financial advisor Michael Reynolds recommended Tuesday that investors always keep one bullet in the chamber, just in case. “Even if you’re a more conservative investor who keeps most of your savings in bonds and money market accounts, it just makes a lot of sense to have a round locked and loaded at all times in the event of a major financial market disruption,” said Reynolds, who stressed the importance of maxing out yearly IRA contributions and regularly cleaning and oiling the barrel.

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[–] nick@midwest.social 11 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Yup, that's one way to meet him more quickly.