this post was submitted on 02 Apr 2025
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It's a complicated issue with a lot of layers. Like a depressing onion.
Men were told to stop approaching women for any reason in any situation. So we did.
Dating apps and websites have overinflated women's egos and absolutely obliterated most mens egos. The average looking guy with a job and some normal hobbies is going to get very few matches where as most women get hundreds a day regardless of their level of employment or having hobbies. This leads to women believing they can find the millionaire bachelor if they just hold out for longer when in reality they are not the women that the millionaire bachelor is going to pick.
Most women still expect men to be chivalrous and pay on the first date, but they have no actual intention of pursuing a relationship with that guy. Unfortunately some women have learned they can get a free meal and entertainment for an evening at no cost if they just say yes to dates they have no interest in. Most guys have been burned by that as some point.
A lot of women are still playing games. Saying no because they want the man to "chase" them or "fight" for them. Most guys have stopped entertaining that behavior whatsoever but I still see so many women doing it. As men we can't tell if that's what you want or if you actually mean it when you say no so the majority of us will immediately stop pursuing you if you decline us. I'm 33 and women are STILL doing this. I thought it would taper off as I got farther from high school aged girls but from my experience it has not gone down in any significant way.
There are a million other reasons and nuanced details but I am tired of typing.
Myself and most men I know around my age who all did very well in the dating scene when we were younger have just completely given up on dating now. We have zero interest in putting in the time, energy and money into something that yeilds nothing in return these days.
Like most things I think this will reach a breaking point and things will shift but I'm not sure when that will be or what will push things over the edge.
You're complaints sound like they were copy and pasted from an Andrew Tate manuscript. Most men I know who are healthy and well adjusted have a girlfriend or wife. I dont think ive dated a woman in the last 5 years who expected me to be chivalrous or wanted to "play games" with me and make me chase. My friends and I have been having amazing luck with dating recently I guess. 8 out of 9 of us are either married or in a long term relationship. And were not rich or extremely attractive lmfao. Maybe it's because none of us are incels and don't just wanna fuck the first thing with 2 legs to say yes. I feel like men like you can't see anything a woman is past the vagina, like maybe if you tried to just be friendly instead of horny they would've opened up to you and trusted you. Instead most men act like women owe them something when they buy them a gift or a meal. My friends have paid for my food before and I didn't get on the ground and suck them off, why should a girl be expected to do that.
First of all: *Your
Secondly: Yikes bro. You made a LOT of assumptions and pretty much all of them were wrong.
I don't really give a shit about sex. At least that's not my goal when dating. I am looking for someone that is kind, thoughtful and curious. Someone who is intellectually stimulating and emotionally mature.
I could call up pretty much any of my exes and get sex if that's all I was after. I am just looking for genuine human connection.
When my choices are expend time, energy and money just to be taken advantage of/toyed with or sit at home and be at peace with myself I'm gonna take the peace every time now.
If you went fishing for years and never caught anything except toxic sludge at some point you just stop fishing. Spend that time and energy on something else. That's where most men are at these days. And yeah some of those guys are just unrealistic assholes, but most of them really aren't.
Personally I am just living my life. If I happen to bump into someone and hit it off I won't fight it, but I'm not going to actively spend my time, money and energy looking anymore.
Let me start by saying I'm not agreeing or disagreeing with the post you're replying to.
How long? Because many of the points being made by the comments in this thread are talking about how things changed in the past few years. If you got together pre pandemic you wouldn't have been dating in the environment many are talking about. Even if you got together in like 2021 you may not have experienced it at it's worst (according to them).
Disclaimer: I am married and haven't ever experienced the "dating scene" because I'm with my high school sweetheart. But you need to understand a lot of what the posts in this thread are talking about they're claiming is very recent.
That said, this post (the image) is 100% incel propaganda, accidental if I'm being generous.