NewsThump

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Satire news community similar to !theonion@midwest.social, but with a focus on the UK.

Community is named after NewsThump, a British news satire website, but satirical news from any website is welcome here so long as it doesn't break community/instance rules. The Daily Mash, for example, is another popular UK satire news website.

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No incitement of violence or promotion of violent ideologies.
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Do not spam or abuse network features.

Community Specific Rules:

Please refrain from posting satire news which is not relevant to the UK (e.g. American politics).
Keep comments in English so that they can be appropriately moderated.
Posts do NOT have to be from NewsThump. Any satirical news can be posted here.

Here are some communities to post satirical news from elsewhere in the world:

!theonion@midwest.social

NewsThump has a Fediverse presence. Check them out on Mastodon: mastodon.online/@newsthump

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King Charles Downgrades Trump’s State Visit to Lunch with Prince Andrew (www.borowitzreport.com)

submitted 5 months ago by flamingos@feddit.uk to c/newsthump@feddit.uk

21 comments fedilink hide all child comments

In an abrupt about-face, King Charles III of the United Kingdom announced on Monday that he was downgrading Donald J. Trump’s upcoming state visit to lunch with Prince Andrew.

Instead of Windsor Castle, where the state visit was to be held, the lunch between Andrew and Trump will now occur at a Pizza Express restaurant in Woking.

According to royal sources, Andrew was “incandescent with rage” when his older brother informed him of the engagement, but the King told him, “Sorry, chap, you’ve got to take one for the team.”

After Andrew asked what he and Trump could possibly talk about over their pizza, Charles suggested, “Maybe you two can reminisce about your good times with Jeffrey Epstein.”

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[–] djsoren19@lemmy.blahaj.zone 30 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (6 children)

Since this wasn't on NotTheOnion, I almost bit until I saw the meeting would happen at a Pizza Express. As funny as it would be, I think the British monarchy has way too much pride to take Donnie to the British equivalent of Dominos.

idk why though, since Trump would probably be much happier at a dinner in McDonalds than any fancy British restaurant.

[–] flamingos@feddit.uk 23 points 5 months ago (5 children)

The Pizza Express thing is a reference to when Prince Andrew tried to deny having sex with underage Virginia Roberts by claiming he was at a birthday party at a Pizza Express in Woking on the evening it is alleged to happen.

[–] Comment105@lemm.ee 2 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Did the birthday party alibi in Woking turn out to be false?

[–] flamingos@feddit.uk 4 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

No, he just paid her £12 million to keep quiet.

[–] Comment105@lemm.ee 2 points 5 months ago

Ah, so no reason to suspect foul play then, it's all settled with carrots and sticks?

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