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Men who are Sensitive AND Expressive, how do you cope? (lemmy.world)
submitted 5 months ago by PlanetOfOrd@lemmy.world to c/casualconversation@lemm.ee
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I'm definitely a sensitive man. Like most sensitive men, I definitely find it challenging in the "yeah, you gotta eat 50 lb of bacon, pump iron 7x a day, never smile, and always take on a challenge" world of masculinity. I mean, we've definitely come a long way over the last decade making emotions something men can accept, but we got a long way to go.

Most articles I read about sensitive men are mostly about hiding it, how we're not supposed, to, and then when we do we'll feel better, blah blah blah. But I'm already expressive. I find it challenging, from both men and women.

From men, I don't feel like a man (I don't mean in the sexual sense...just from a psychological sense). In men's groups I get so tired of talking about work and (maybe) hobbies I just wanna run out of the room screaming. It's hard to find any other men who are okay talking about their feelings. When I do (I'm not afraid to), I find no one is able to relate.

From women, I think they often want to see me as a stereotypical stoic man. So when I do express myself, I'm seen as "not manly," which can be a turnoff, whether for romance or friendship.

So how do other sensitive men cope with expressing their feelings?

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[–] BenLeMan@lemmy.world 5 points 5 months ago

Thank you for calling attention to this. To answer your question, I try to avoid toxic people. To be honest I still have some deeply rooted beliefs about manhood myself that are similarly hurtful to the ones you named.

So I don't know, really. But I've been working on myself and on being happy with who I am. It's definitely paying dividends but I still have some ways to go.

I've sometimes thought that things would be much easier if I were gay because I'd fit the mould in many ways. Except for the most important one, as I'm just not into dudes at all and very much like to be with women.

Having observed other men through my almost 50 years of life, I find that many are probably just masking their sensitivity behind a veil of foul language, aggressive behavior, and machismo. Those men I find particularly hard to bear.