this post was submitted on 13 Dec 2024
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I used to have nosebleeds as a kid. I sometimes used my mom's tampons and her reaction was: "That's actually a good idea."
Tampons absorb, which isn’t great if you need to help clot your leaky flesh. It’s better than nothing, but gauze or tissue would be better.
Tampons absorb to grow thicker and then staunch the bleeding by blocking it. It's literally called a tamponade.
Tamponade is what they drink in hell on hot days.
Is that like a bloody Mary?
I thought it was what vampires drank on a hot day.
A vampire walks into a bar. The bartender asks if he'd like some blood. "Just hot water, please," the vampire responds. The bartender raise an eyebrow, but goes to get the hot water. When he places the mug in front of the vampire, he says, "I thought you were a vampire. Why order hot water?" The vampire pulls a tampon out of his bag and says, "I'm having tea."
You're welcome.
When you tell this joke in person, the crappy vampire accent is a must.
My mental voice for that is Vladislav from Among the Shadows