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Homeland Security Admits It Tried to Manufacture Fake Terrorists for Trump (gizmodo.com)

submitted 10 months ago by ooli@lemmy.world to c/usa@lemmy.ml

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[–] modifier@lemmy.ca 62 points 10 months ago (4 children)

I've been waiting for the ideal time to unmask myself, and now seems as good a time as any.

It is I. I am the president and CEO of Antifa, and I rule with an iron fist.

I'll take your questions now.

[–] Thassodar@lemm.ee 21 points 10 months ago (2 children)

If you're antipho, what's your soup of choice?

[–] modifier@lemmy.ca 16 points 10 months ago

That's a joke for radio. NEXT!

[–] designatedhacker@lemm.ee 13 points 10 months ago (1 children)

If they're antipho we can safely assume their opinions on soup aren't worth a damn.

[–] sleet01@lemmy.ca 6 points 10 months ago

Gazpacho, like revenge, is best served cold.

[–] Avatar_of_Self@lemmy.world 11 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I've heard rumors of unionizing at antifa. What is your strategy for dealing with that?

[–] modifier@lemmy.ca 9 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Obvious conservative plant question. Collective action itself is the iron fist with which I rule, thus a Union would be redundant.

NEXT!

[–] bibliotectress@lemmy.world 11 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Hi! Yes, I have a question.

Grocery prices have been hitting hard lately, and I'm looking into alternative meat sources. I would like to know if I were to join your company, could we literally eat the rich? Or, second best, take all their stuff?

[–] modifier@lemmy.ca 8 points 10 months ago

God knows what wierd chemicals they are marinating in, and most of them are busy amassing private armies and creating microstates while working to erode the checks that currently limit their ability to essentially act as actual sovereign citizen, so it wouldn't exactly be very calorically rewarding compared to the effort, but...

NEXT!

[–] beliquititious@lemmy.blahaj.zone 8 points 10 months ago (1 children)

What's your company culture like? What are the perks of working for antifa?

[–] modifier@lemmy.ca 11 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

Same answer to both questions: fash bashin'

NEXT!

[–] beliquititious@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 10 months ago (1 children)

So no 401k or dental than? No thanks.

[–] SturgiesYrFase@lemmy.ml 12 points 10 months ago

Not OP, but I'll field this part. Where we're going 401Ks and dental won't be needed.