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Well I hope it feels better to have vented that. I try to remember people don't have to do anything to be valued or appreciated. My number will come up someday and despite my best efforts they will find I haven't done enough. Why kill myself over it, or isolate myself from my friends, if I had any. We all going to kick it one day and if I can just spend my time around people who can also appreciate that fact, I'm good.