this post was submitted on 26 Jul 2024
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Years later, I looked at my wedding party of six groomsmen and realized that every single one of them had, like me, grown up in a small Ohio town before leaving for Ohio State. To a man, all of them had found that couches coud satisfy them more than a women ever could, and that books are really just zipped HTML, and nobody really checks PGP signatures.

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[–] MermaidsGarden@lemmy.world 78 points 1 year ago (6 children)

It’s crazy that people think JD Vance had sex with a couch. There’s no evidence JD Vance had sex with a couch. It’s liberals that are perpetuating the idea that JD Vance had sex with a couch. JD Vance has specifically denied that he has had bare skin contact with a couch within a 5 year period. It’s ludicrous that JD Vance was banned from a Cleveland area IKEA after having intercourse with a KIVIK Sofa Chaise.

I’ll repeat, there is no evidence to believe JD Vance had sex with a couch. JD Vance is not a couchfucker.

[–] Mycatiskai@lemmy.ca 5 points 1 year ago

A chaise lounger is not a true couch. He is a seat-fucker.

Some say his sexual awakening was with a three-legged stool.

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