this post was submitted on 29 Jun 2024
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neurodiverse

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What is Neurodivergence?

It's ADHD, Autism, OCD, schizophrenia, anxiety, depression, bi-polar, aspd, etc etc etc etc

“neurologically atypical patterns of thought or behavior”

So, it’s very broad, if you feel like it describes you then it does as far as we're concerned


Rules

1.) ableist language=post or comment will probably get removed (enforced case by case, some comments will be removed and restored due to complex situations). repeated use of ableist language=banned from comm and possibly site depending on severity. properly tagged posts with CW can use them for the purposes of discussing them

2.) always assume good faith when dealing with a fellow nd comrade especially due to lack of social awareness being a common symptom of neurodivergence

2.5) right to disengage is rigidly enforced. violations will get you purged from the comm. see rule 3 for explanation on appeals

3.) no talking over nd comrades about things you haven't personally experienced as a neurotypical chapo, you will be purged. If you're ND it is absolutely fine to give your own perspective if it conflicts with another's, but do so with empathy and the intention to learn about each other, not prove who's experience is valid. Appeal process is like appealing in user union but you dm the nd comrade you talked over with your appeal (so make it a good one) and then dm the mods with screenshot proof that you resolved it. fake screenies will get you banned from the site, we will confirm with the comrade you dm'd.

3.5) everyone has their own lived experiences, and to invalidate them is to post cringe. comments will be removed on a case by case basis depending on determined level of awareness and faith

4.) Interest Policing will not be tolerated in any form. Support your comrades in their joy!

Further rules to be added/ rules to be changed based on community input

RULES NOTE: For this community more than most we understand that the clarity and understandability of these rules is very important for allowing folks to feel comfortable, to that end please don't be afraid to be outspoken about amendments and addendums to these rules, as well as any we may have missed

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I’ve only dated two people (I think I’m about to fuck this current situation up) but it seems like I don’t know how to handle it when the novelty of a new relationship somewhat calms down on my end and I’m dealing with someone who is ostensibly over attached and saying all of these wild things and love bombing me.

Things seemed to be going so well for us, but they suddenly became super physical when their lack of physicality was the exact reason I chose to date them in the first place, and that sort of took me aback :/

I’m posting in the nd forum because I suspect this is an example of not being able to deal with change (we’re on the same wavelength for a bit then I return to reality while they stay up in the clouds). It also takes up a loooooooot of energy. Shit suuuuuuuuuuuucks because I truly thought I had found the one :/

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[–] Emperor@feddit.uk 14 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Sounds like you need an open and frank discussion on what you both want out of the relationship. It's awkward but if you let things simmer it'll turn into resentment or some other negative feeling. Perhaps if you talk to the other person they might understand and not try to go too fast or you might have such different needs that it would be impossible to compromise and you agree to go your separate ways.

[–] stigsbandit34z@hexbear.net 7 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Yeah this is definitely what I’ve been chewing on 🥲 I’m absolutely terrified to talk about this though, I’m not sure how they’d handle it. Do you have any helpful tips for making it a smooth conversation?

[–] Commiejones@hexbear.net 4 points 1 year ago

There's no way for a conversation like this to be smooth but you can preface it with how "open and honest communication essential to a functional relationship" and "you just want to be on the same page"

[–] Emperor@feddit.uk 3 points 1 year ago

I'm afraid that a) I'm not very good at myself (learn from mistakes not my successes) and b) everyone is different, so there is no one foolproof technique. Just don't go "we need to talk about out relationship" but perhaps go out for a meal - it's relaxed, it's just the two of you, you can have drink and then you steer the conversation around to the topic. It can be tricky being open and frank if you haven't from the start but the next best time to start is now. It's hard to guess what people are thinking, so a good place to start is: 'I'm ND, so I may not be able to read your emotions as well as other people, so we do need to talk things through more and be open and clear about out feelings." That should lay the foundations for better communication.