Vampires

CHAPTER VII

LOG OF THE “DEMETER.”

2 August, midnight.---Woke up from few minutes' sleep by hearing a cry, seemingly outside my port. Could see nothing in fog. Rushed on deck, and ran against mate. Tells me heard cry and ran, but no sign of man on watch. One more gone. Lord, help us! Mate says we must be past Straits of Dover, as in a moment of fog lifting he saw North Foreland, just as he heard the man cry out. If so we are now off in the North Sea, and only God can guide us in the fog, which seems to move with us; and God seems to have deserted us.

CHAPTER VI

MINA MURRAY’S JOURNAL

1 August.---I came up here an hour ago with Lucy, and we had a most interesting talk with my old friend and the two others who always come and join him. He is evidently the Sir Oracle of them, and I should think must have been in his time a most dictatorial person. He will not admit anything, and downfaces everybody. If he can't out-argue them he bullies them, and then takes their silence for agreement with his views. Lucy was looking sweetly pretty in her white lawn frock; she has got a beautiful colour since she has been here. I noticed that the old men did not lose any time in coming up and sitting near her when we sat down. She is so sweet with old people; I think they all fell in love with her on the spot. Even my old man succumbed and did not contradict her, but gave me double share instead. I got him on the subject of the legends, and he went off at once into a sort of sermon. I must try to remember it and put it down:---

"It be all fool-talk, lock, stock, and barrel; that's what it be, an' nowt else. These bans an' wafts an' boh-ghosts an' barguests an' bogles an' all anent them is only fit to set bairns an' dizzy women a-belderin'. They be nowt but air-blebs. They, an' all grims an' signs an' warnin's, be all invented by parsons an' illsome beuk-bodies an' railway touters to skeer an' scunner hafflin's, an' to get folks to do somethin' that they don't other incline to. It makes me ireful to think o' them. Why, it's them that, not content with printin' lies on paper an' preachin' them out of pulpits, does want to be cuttin' them on the tombstones. Look here all around you in what airt ye will; all them steans, holdin' up their heads as well as they can out of their pride, is acant---simply tumblin' down with the weight o' the lies wrote on them, 'Here lies the body' or 'Sacred to the memory' wrote on all of them, an' yet in nigh half of them there bean't no bodies at all; an' the memories of them bean't cared a pinch of snuff about, much less sacred. Lies all of them, nothin' but lies of one kind or another! My gog, but it'll be a quare scowderment at the Day of Judgment when they come tumblin' up in their death-sarks, all jouped together an' tryin' to drag their tombsteans with them to prove how good they was; some of them trimmlin' and ditherin', with their hands that dozzened an' slippy from lyin' in the sea that they can't even keep their grup o' them."

I could see from the old fellow's self-satisfied air and the way in which he looked round for the approval of his cronies that he was "showing off," so I put in a word to keep him going:---

"Oh, Mr. Swales, you can't be serious. Surely these tombstones are not all wrong?"

"Yabblins! There may be a poorish few not wrong, savin' where they make out the people too good; for there be folk that do think a balm-bowl be like the sea, if only it be their own. The whole thing be only lies. Now look you here; you come here a stranger, an' you see this kirk-garth." I nodded, for I thought it better to assent, though I did not quite understand his dialect. I knew it had something to do with the church. He went on: "And you consate that all these steans be aboon folk that be happed here, snod an' snog?" I assented again. "Then that be just where the lie comes in. Why, there be scores of these lay-beds that be toom as old Dun's 'bacca-box on Friday night." He nudged one of his companions, and they all laughed. "And my gog! how could they be otherwise? Look at that one, the aftest abaft the bier-bank: read it!" I went over and read:---

"Edward Spencelagh, master mariner, murdered by pirates off the coast of Andres, April, 1854, æt. 30." When I came back Mr. Swales went on:---

"Who brought him home, I wonder, to hap him here? Murdered off the coast of Andres! an' you consated his body lay under! Why, I could name ye a dozen whose bones lie in the Greenland seas above"---he pointed northwards---"or where the currents may have drifted them. There be the steans around ye. Ye can, with your young eyes, read the small-print of the lies from here. This Braithwaite Lowrey---I knew his father, lost in the Lively off Greenland in '20; or Andrew Woodhouse, drowned in the same seas in 1777; or John Paxton, drowned off Cape Farewell a year later; or old John Rawlings, whose grandfather sailed with me, drowned in the Gulf of Finland in '50. Do ye think that all these men will have to make a rush to Whitby when the trumpet sounds? I have me antherums aboot it! I tell ye that when they got here they'd be jommlin' an' jostlin' one another that way that it 'ud be like a fight up on the ice in the old days, when we'd be at one another from daylight to dark, an' tryin' to tie up our cuts by the light of the aurora borealis." This was evidently local pleasantry, for the old man cackled over it, and his cronies joined in with gusto.

"But," I said, "surely you are not quite correct, for you start on the assumption that all the poor people, or their spirits, will have to take their tombstones with them on the Day of Judgment. Do you think that will be really necessary?"

"Well, what else be they tombstones for? Answer me that, miss!"

"To please their relatives, I suppose."

"To please their relatives, you suppose!" This he said with intense scorn. "How will it pleasure their relatives to know that lies is wrote over them, and that everybody in the place knows that they be lies?" He pointed to a stone at our feet which had been laid down as a slab, on which the seat was rested, close to the edge of the cliff. "Read the lies on that thruff-stean," he said. The letters were upside down to me from where I sat, but Lucy was more opposite to them, so she leant over and read:---

"Sacred to the memory of George Canon, who died, in the hope of a glorious resurrection, on July, 29, 1873, falling from the rocks at Kettleness. This tomb was erected by his sorrowing mother to her dearly beloved son. 'He was the only son of his mother, and she was a widow.' Really, Mr. Swales, I don't see anything very funny in that!" She spoke her comment very gravely and somewhat severely.

"Ye don't see aught funny! Ha! ha! But that's because ye don't gawm the sorrowin' mother was a hell-cat that hated him because he was acrewk'd---a regular lamiter he was---an' he hated her so that he committed suicide in order that she mightn't get an insurance she put on his life. He blew nigh the top of his head off with an old musket that they had for scarin' the crows with. 'Twarn't for crows then, for it brought the clegs and the dowps to him. That's the way he fell off the rocks. And, as to hopes of a glorious resurrection, I've often heard him say masel' that he hoped he'd go to hell, for his mother was so pious that she'd be sure to go to heaven, an' he didn't want to addle where she was. Now isn't that stean at any rate"---he hammered it with his stick as he spoke---"a pack of lies? and won't it make Gabriel keckle when Geordie comes pantin' up the grees with the tombstean balanced on his hump, and asks it to be took as evidence!"

I did not know what to say, but Lucy turned the conversation as she said, rising up:---

"Oh, why did you tell us of this? It is my favourite seat, and I cannot leave it; and now I find I must go on sitting over the grave of a suicide."

"That won't harm ye, my pretty; an' it may make poor Geordie gladsome to have so trim a lass sittin' on his lap. That won't hurt ye. Why, I've sat here off an' on for nigh twenty years past, an' it hasn't done me no harm. Don't ye fash about them as lies under ye, or that doesn' lie there either! It'll be time for ye to be getting scart when ye see the tombsteans all run away with, and the place as bare as a stubble-field. There's the clock, an' I must gang. My service to ye, ladies!" And off he hobbled.

Lucy and I sat awhile, and it was all so beautiful before us that we took hands as we sat; and she told me all over again about Arthur and their coming marriage. That made me just a little heart-sick, for I haven't heard from Jonathan for a whole month.

---

The same day. I came up here alone, for I am very sad. There was no letter for me. I hope there cannot be anything the matter with Jonathan. The clock has just struck nine. I see the lights scattered all over the town, sometimes in rows where the streets are, and sometimes singly; they run right up the Esk and die away in the curve of the valley. To my left the view is cut off by a black line of roof of the old house next the abbey. The sheep and lambs are bleating in the fields away behind me, and there is a clatter of a donkey's hoofs up the paved road below. The band on the pier is playing a harsh waltz in good time, and further along the quay there is a Salvation Army meeting in a back street. Neither of the bands hears the other, but up here I hear and see them both. I wonder where Jonathan is and if he is thinking of me! I wish he were here.

CHAPTER VII

LOG OF THE “DEMETER.”

1 August.---Two days of fog, and not a sail sighted. Had hoped when in the English Channel to be able to signal for help or get in somewhere. Not having power to work sails, have to run before wind. Dare not lower, as could not raise them again. We seem to be drifting to some terrible doom. Mate now more demoralised than either of men. His stronger nature seems to have worked inwardly against himself. Men are beyond fear, working stolidly and patiently, with minds made up to worst. They are Russian, he Roumanian.

More cartoons : @grickle@mstdn.social

CHAPTER VII

LOG OF THE “DEMETER.”

30 July.---Last night. Rejoiced we are nearing England. Weather fine, all sails set. Retired worn out; slept soundly; awaked by mate telling me that both man of watch and steersman missing. Only self and mate and two hands left to work ship.

CHAPTER VII

LOG OF THE “DEMETER.”

29 July.---Another tragedy. Had single watch to-night, as crew too tired to double. When morning watch came on deck could find no one except steersman. Raised outcry, and all came on deck. Thorough search, but no one found. Are now without second mate, and crew in a panic. Mate and I agreed to go armed henceforth and wait for any sign of cause.

CHAPTER VII

LOG OF THE “DEMETER.”

28 July.—Four days in hell, knocking about in a sort of maelstrom, and the wind a tempest. No sleep for any one. Men all worn out. Hardly know how to set a watch, since no one fit to go on. Second mate volunteered to steer and watch, and let men snatch a few hours’ sleep. Wind abating; seas still terrific, but feel them less, as ship is steadier.

CHAPTER VI

Mina Murray's Journal.

27 July.---No news from Jonathan. I am getting quite uneasy about him, though why I should I do not know; but I do wish that he would write, if it were only a single line. Lucy walks more than ever, and each night I am awakened by her moving about the room. Fortunately, the weather is so hot that she cannot get cold; but still the anxiety and the perpetually being wakened is beginning to tell on me, and I am getting nervous and wakeful myself. Thank God, Lucy's health keeps up. Mr. Holmwood has been suddenly called to Ring to see his father, who has been taken seriously ill. Lucy frets at the postponement of seeing him, but it does not touch her looks; she is a trifle stouter, and her cheeks are a lovely rose-pink. She has lost that anæmic look which she had. I pray it will all last.

CHAPTER VI

Mina Murray's Journal.

26 July.---I am anxious, and it soothes me to express myself here; it is like whispering to one's self and listening at the same time. And there is also something about the shorthand symbols that makes it different from writing. I am unhappy about Lucy and about Jonathan. I had not heard from Jonathan for some time, and was very concerned; but yesterday dear Mr. Hawkins, who is always so kind, sent me a letter from him. I had written asking him if he had heard, and he said the enclosed had just been received. It is only a line dated from Castle Dracula, and says that he is just starting for home. That is not like Jonathan; I do not understand it, and it makes me uneasy. Then, too, Lucy, although she is so well, has lately taken to her old habit of walking in her sleep. Her mother has spoken to me about it, and we have decided that I am to lock the door of our room every night. Mrs. Westenra has got an idea that sleep-walkers always go out on roofs of houses and along the edges of cliffs and then get suddenly wakened and fall over with a despairing cry that echoes all over the place. Poor dear, she is naturally anxious about Lucy, and she tells me that her husband, Lucy's father, had the same habit; that he would get up in the night and dress himself and go out, if he were not stopped. Lucy is to be married in the autumn, and she is already planning out her dresses and how her house is to be arranged. I sympathise with her, for I do the same, only Jonathan and I will start in life in a very simple way, and shall have to try to make both ends meet. Mr. Holmwood---he is the Hon. Arthur Holmwood, only son of Lord Godalming---is coming up here very shortly---as soon as he can leave town, for his father is not very well, and I think dear Lucy is counting the moments till he comes. She wants to take him up to the seat on the churchyard cliff and show him the beauty of Whitby. I daresay it is the waiting which disturbs her; she will be all right when he arrives.

I usually only post these to !bmoviebonana@lemmy.world, but this one is about vampires, and SUPPOSEDLY although it has low-budget production values the story isn't that bad. I dunno though. Anyway if you want to watch a vampire movie while reading the thoughts of a bunch of fediverse wits, then read on....

Vampire Circus (1972) is the movie for this Sunday's "monsterdon" watch party over on Mastodon, our fediverse sibling!

• Just start watching that movie this Sunday, July 27, 2025 at 9pm ET / 8pm CT / 6pm PT which is 1am Monday UTC
• and follow #monsterdon over on mastodon for live commentary. For example, you can follow that hashtag here: https://mastodon.social/tags/monsterdon
• I usually open two web browser windows side-by-side on a computer. But you could follow the mastodon commentary on a phone app while watching the movie on TV or something.

How to watch the movie:

• tubi (availability varies by country): https://tubitv.com/movies/100004533/vampire-circus
• youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fMbG7lnzccI
• uBlock Origin adblocker on Firefox should work for those tubi and youtube links
• archive: https://archive.org/details/vampire-circus-1972-1080p-blu-ray-yts.-mx
• someone usually streams it on https://miru.miyaku.media/ at that time
• if you want to pay and/or watch ads, look here: https://nobraincellsleft.github.io/JustWatch-Search/title/tm149050

The story concerns a travelling circus, the vampiric artists of which prey on the children of a 19th century Serbian village.
...
On Rotten Tomatoes the film holds an 80% approval rating based on reviews from 5 critics.[6] ... AllMovie called the film "one of the studio's more stylish and intelligent projects".[8]

PopMatters also called it "one of the company's last great classics", writing, "erotic, grotesque, chilling, bloody, suspenseful and loaded with doom and gloom atmosphere, this is the kind of experiment in terror that reinvigorates your love of the scary movie artform".[9] ... The Los Angeles Times called the film "a true chiller" with "lots of real-looking teeth, believable gore, and – save for a very lurid ending (not for the kiddies) – a lot of pace, a certain sense of subtlety and a definite, consistent style."[11]

Leslie Halliwell said: "Silly but quite inventive horror thriller."[12] The Radio Times Guide to Films gave the film 3/5 stars, writing: "This isn't the freak show its title might suggest, but a fast-moving, imaginative Hammer vampire tale of punishment and revenge. ... Adrienne Corri's intense beauty shines like a beacon in the murky atmosphere, but the delicacy of mood collapses into blood-spurting horrifics towards the end."[13]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vampire_Circus

CHAPTER VI

MINA MURRAY'S JOURNAL

24 July. Whitby.---Lucy met me at the station, looking sweeter and lovelier than ever, and we drove up to the house at the Crescent in which they have rooms. This is a lovely place. The little river, the Esk, runs through a deep valley, which broadens out as it comes near the harbour. A great viaduct runs across, with high piers, through which the view seems somehow further away than it really is. The valley is beautifully green, and it is so steep that when you are on the high land on either side you look right across it, unless you are near enough to see down. The houses of the old town---the side away from us---are all red-roofed, and seem piled up one over the other anyhow, like the pictures we see of Nuremberg. Right over the town is the ruin of Whitby Abbey, which was sacked by the Danes, and which is the scene of part of "Marmion," where the girl was built up in the wall. It is a most noble ruin, of immense size, and full of beautiful and romantic bits; there is a legend that a white lady is seen in one of the windows. Between it and the town there is another church, the parish one, round which is a big graveyard, all full of tombstones. This is to my mind the nicest spot in Whitby, for it lies right over the town, and has a full view of the harbour and all up the bay to where the headland called Kettleness stretches out into the sea. It descends so steeply over the harbour that part of the bank has fallen away, and some of the graves have been destroyed. In one place part of the stonework of the graves stretches out over the sandy pathway far below. There are walks, with seats beside them, through the churchyard; and people go and sit there all day long looking at the beautiful view and enjoying the breeze. I shall come and sit here very often myself and work. Indeed, I am writing now, with my book on my knee, and listening to the talk of three old men who are sitting beside me. They seem to do nothing all day but sit up here and talk.

The harbour lies below me, with, on the far side, one long granite wall stretching out into the sea, with a curve outwards at the end of it, in the middle of which is a lighthouse. A heavy sea-wall runs along outside of it. On the near side, the sea-wall makes an elbow crooked inversely, and its end too has a lighthouse. Between the two piers there is a narrow opening into the harbour, which then suddenly widens.

It is nice at high water; but when the tide is out it shoals away to nothing, and there is merely the stream of the Esk, running between banks of sand, with rocks here and there. Outside the harbour on this side there rises for about half a mile a great reef, the sharp edge of which runs straight out from behind the south lighthouse. At the end of it is a buoy with a bell, which swings in bad weather, and sends in a mournful sound on the wind. They have a legend here that when a ship is lost bells are heard out at sea. I must ask the old man about this; he is coming this way....

He is a funny old man. He must be awfully old, for his face is all gnarled and twisted like the bark of a tree. He tells me that he is nearly a hundred, and that he was a sailor in the Greenland fishing fleet when Waterloo was fought. He is, I am afraid, a very sceptical person, for when I asked him about the bells at sea and the White Lady at the abbey he said very brusquely:---

"I wouldn't fash masel' about them, miss. Them things be all wore out. Mind, I don't say that they never was, but I do say that they wasn't in my time. They be all very well for comers and trippers, an' the like, but not for a nice young lady like you. Them feet-folks from York and Leeds that be always eatin' cured herrin's an' drinkin' tea an' lookin' out to buy cheap jet would creed aught. I wonder masel' who'd be bothered tellin' lies to them---even the newspapers, which is full of fool-talk." I thought he would be a good person to learn interesting things from, so I asked him if he would mind telling me something about the whale-fishing in the old days. He was just settling himself to begin when the clock struck six, whereupon he laboured to get up, and said:---

"I must gang ageeanwards home now, miss. My grand-daughter doesn't like to be kept waitin' when the tea is ready, for it takes me time to crammle aboon the grees, for there be a many of 'em; an', miss, I lack belly-timber sairly by the clock."

He hobbled away, and I could see him hurrying, as well as he could, down the steps. The steps are a great feature on the place. They lead from the town up to the church, there are hundreds of them---I do not know how many---and they wind up in a delicate curve; the slope is so gentle that a horse could easily walk up and down them. I think they must originally have had something to do with the abbey. I shall go home too. Lucy went out visiting with her mother, and as they were only duty calls, I did not go. They will be home by this.

---

CHAPTER VII

LOG OF THE “DEMETER.”

24 July.---There seems some doom over this ship. Already a hand short, and entering on the Bay of Biscay with wild weather ahead, and yet last night another man lost---disappeared. Like the first, he came off his watch and was not seen again. Men all in a panic of fear; sent a round robin, asking to have double watch, as they fear to be alone. Mate angry. Fear there will be some trouble, as either he or the men will do some violence.

CHAPTER VII

LOG OF THE “DEMETER.”

22 July.---Rough weather last three days, and all hands busy with sails---no time to be frightened. Men seem to have forgotten their dread. Mate cheerful again, and all on good terms. Praised men for work in bad weather. Passed Gibralter and out through Straits. All well.

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/33273197

CHAPTER VI

Dr. Seward’s Diary.

20 July.---Visited Renfield very early, before the attendant went his rounds. Found him up and humming a tune. He was spreading out his sugar, which he had saved, in the window, and was manifestly beginning his fly-catching again; and beginning it cheerfully and with a good grace. I looked around for his birds, and not seeing them, asked him where they were. He replied, without turning round, that they had all flown away. There were a few feathers about the room and on his pillow a drop of blood. I said nothing, but went and told the keeper to report to me if there were anything odd about him during the day.

11 a. m.---The attendant has just been to me to say that Renfield has been very sick and has disgorged a whole lot of feathers. "My belief is, doctor," he said, "that he has eaten his birds, and that he just took and ate them raw!"

11 p. m.---I gave Renfield a strong opiate to-night, enough to make even him sleep, and took away his pocket-book to look at it. The thought that has been buzzing about my brain lately is complete, and the theory proved. My homicidal maniac is of a peculiar kind. I shall have to invent a new classification for him, and call him a zoöphagous (life-eating) maniac; what he desires is to absorb as many lives as he can, and he has laid himself out to achieve it in a cumulative way. He gave many flies to one spider and many spiders to one bird, and then wanted a cat to eat the many birds. What would have been his later steps? It would almost be worth while to complete the experiment. It might be done if there were only a sufficient cause. Men sneered at vivisection, and yet look at its results to-day! Why not advance science in its most difficult and vital aspect---the knowledge of the brain? Had I even the secret of one such mind---did I hold the key to the fancy of even one lunatic---I might advance my own branch of science to a pitch compared with which Burdon-Sanderson's physiology or Ferrier's brain-knowledge would be as nothing. If only there were a sufficient cause! I must not think too much of this, or I may be tempted; a good cause might turn the scale with me, for may not I too be of an exceptional brain, congenitally?

How well the man reasoned; lunatics always do within their own scope. I wonder at how many lives he values a man, or if at only one. He has closed the account most accurately, and to-day begun a new record. How many of us begin a new record with each day of our lives?

To me it seems only yesterday that my whole life ended with my new hope, and that truly I began a new record. So it will be until the Great Recorder sums me up and closes my ledger account with a balance to profit or loss. Oh, Lucy, Lucy, I cannot be angry with you, nor can I be angry with my friend whose happiness is yours; but I must only wait on hopeless and work. Work! work!

If I only could have as strong a cause as my poor mad friend there---a good, unselfish cause to make me work---that would be indeed happiness.

CHAPTER VI

Dr. Seward’s Diary.

19 July.---We are progressing. My friend has now a whole colony of sparrows, and his flies and spiders are almost obliterated. When I came in he ran to me and said he wanted to ask me a great favour---a very, very great favour; and as he spoke he fawned on me like a dog. I asked him what it was, and he said, with a sort of rapture in his voice and bearing:---

"A kitten, a nice little, sleek playful kitten, that I can play with, and teach, and feed---and feed---and feed!" I was not unprepared for this request, for I had noticed how his pets went on increasing in size and vivacity, but I did not care that his pretty family of tame sparrows should be wiped out in the same manner as the flies and the spiders; so I said I would see about it, and asked him if he would not rather have a cat than a kitten. His eagerness betrayed him as he answered:---

"Oh, yes, I would like a cat! I only asked for a kitten lest you should refuse me a cat. No one would refuse me a kitten, would they?" I shook my head, and said that at present I feared it would not be possible, but that I would see about it. His face fell, and I could see a warning of danger in it, for there was a sudden fierce, sidelong look which meant killing. The man is an undeveloped homicidal maniac. I shall test him with his present craving and see how it will work out; then I shall know more.

CHAPTER VII

LOG OF THE “DEMETER.”

Varna to Whitby.

Written 18 July, things so strange happening, that I shall keep accurate note henceforth till we land.

On 6 July we finished taking in cargo, silver sand and boxes of earth. At noon set sail. East wind, fresh. Crew, five hands ... two mates, cook, and myself (captain).

On 11 July at dawn entered Bosphorus. Boarded by Turkish Customs officers. Backsheesh. All correct. Under way at 4 p. m.

On 12 July through Dardanelles. More Customs officers and flagboat of guarding squadron. Backsheesh again. Work of officers thorough, but quick. Want us off soon. At dark passed into Archipelago.

On 13 July passed Cape Matapan. Crew dissatisfied about something. Seemed scared, but would not speak out.

On 14 July was somewhat anxious about crew. Men all steady fellows, who sailed with me before. Mate could not make out what was wrong; they only told him there was something, and crossed themselves. Mate lost temper with one of them that day and struck him. Expected fierce quarrel, but all was quiet.

On 16 July mate reported in the morning that one of crew, Petrofsky, was missing. Could not account for it. Took larboard watch eight bells last night; was relieved by Abramoff, but did not go to bunk. Men more downcast than ever. All said they expected something of the kind, but would not say more than there was something aboard. Mate getting very impatient with them; feared some trouble ahead.

On 17 July, yesterday, one of the men, Olgaren, came to my cabin, and in an awestruck way confided to me that he thought there was a strange man aboard the ship. He said that in his watch he had been sheltering behind the deck-house, as there was a rain-storm, when he saw a tall, thin man, who was not like any of the crew, come up the companion-way, and go along the deck forward, and disappear. He followed cautiously, but when he got to bows found no one, and the hatchways were all closed. He was in a panic of superstitious fear, and I am afraid the panic may spread. To allay it, I shall to-day search entire ship carefully from stem to stern.

Later in the day I got together the whole crew, and told them, as they evidently thought there was some one in the ship, we would search from stem to stern. First mate angry; said it was folly, and to yield to such foolish ideas would demoralise the men; said he would engage to keep them out of trouble with a handspike. I let him take the helm, while the rest began thorough search, all keeping abreast, with lanterns: we left no corner unsearched. As there were only the big wooden boxes, there were no odd corners where a man could hide. Men much relieved when search over, and went back to work cheerfully. First mate scowled, but said nothing.

One thing I've always loved about vampire stories is that there are no hard rules. Vampires can be whatever the author wants them to be as long as they're internally consistent within the story. This makes them extremely versatile monsters that can be constantly re-invented and none of them are "wrong".

For example, sometimes all it takes to turn into a vampire is to be bitten by one. And sometimes you have to drink the vampire's blood to turn. Or, sometimes a vampire can just drain your energy without transferring any blood at all.

Of course, the rules can also get a bit ridiculous. Maybe the vampire is required to obsessively count grains of rice first. Or maybe they're required to hop around with their arms out (the chinese Jiangshi). Maybe they can turn into a wolf, a bat, or... fog.

So what's the most ridiculous rule or type of vampire you've come across?

(For the image on this post I wanted the most ridiculous picture of a Jiangshi I could find. I went with a shot from Robo Vampire which has a really fun RiffTrax. The only other Jiangshi I'm aware of is in the NES game Phantom Fighter... because I've never watched any of the Mr. Vampire movies)

Like, say, if a vampire comes up on a human and starts to drink, they could spit it out because it's a blood type they hate the taste of. Or if a vampire prefers Rh-negative, they would probably be excited when a human has that.

There's obviously more than the common blood types, but let's just use those for example. Maybe some could prefer Type A for having a rich flavor. Or Type O for being salty.

The House of Mystery #316 by Mike Kaluta (1983)

I was originally going to ask: Which vampire movie is more historically inaccurate, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter or... And then I realized I couldn't think of any other vampire movie that actually tries to pretend it's taking place in the "real world" like Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter. I mean, any inclusion of vampires immediately makes a movie a fantasy, but are there any other vampire movies that attempt to include actual historical events? I know there are vampire movies set in "The West" or in "World War II" but I can't think of any that actually point to exact dates/events like this one.

Anyway, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter isn't that bad of a movie. For the most part, it's a fun movie about hunting vampires in the 1800s. The only real problems arise when it tries to shoe-horn aspects of Abraham Lincoln's real life into the narrative. It drags the movie to a halt. I know that's the whole gimmick behind this movie, but it's the weakest part. If this movie was just "fun vampire hunting in the 1800s" it would've been better. Instead, the movie tells a fun story about someone dedicating his life to getting revenge on vampires... and he also happens to become president. The "real life" aspects don't even intersect with the story they're trying to tell. It's weird.

Here's a trailer. You can watch it on Hulu if you haven't seen it.

CHAPTER VI

Dr. Seward's Diary.

8 July.---There is a method in his madness, and the rudimentary idea in my mind is growing. It will be a whole idea soon, and then, oh, unconscious cerebration! you will have to give the wall to your conscious brother. I kept away from my friend for a few days, so that I might notice if there were any change. Things remain as they were except that he has parted with some of his pets and got a new one. He has managed to get a sparrow, and has already partially tamed it. His means of taming is simple, for already the spiders have diminished. Those that do remain, however, are well fed, for he still brings in the flies by tempting them with his food.

CHAPTER VI

Dr. Seward's Diary.

1 July.---His spiders are now becoming as great a nuisance as his flies, and to-day I told him that he must get rid of them. He looked very sad at this, so I said that he must clear out some of them, at all events. He cheerfully acquiesced in this, and I gave him the same time as before for reduction. He disgusted me much while with him, for when a horrid blow-fly, bloated with some carrion food, buzzed into the room, he caught it, held it exultantly for a few moments between his finger and thumb, and, before I knew what he was going to do, put it in his mouth and ate it. I scolded him for it, but he argued quietly that it was very good and very wholesome; that it was life, strong life, and gave life to him. This gave me an idea, or the rudiment of one. I must watch how he gets rid of his spiders. He has evidently some deep problem in his mind, for he keeps a little note-book in which he is always jotting down something. Whole pages of it are filled with masses of figures, generally single numbers added up in batches, and then the totals added in batches again, as though he were "focussing" some account, as the auditors put it.

CHAPTER IV

JONATHAN HARKER'S JOURNAL---continued

30 June, morning.---These may be the last words I ever write in this diary. I slept till just before the dawn, and when I woke threw myself on my knees, for I determined that if Death came he should find me ready.

At last I felt that subtle change in the air, and knew that the morning had come. Then came the welcome cock-crow, and I felt that I was safe. With a glad heart, I opened my door and ran down to the hall. I had seen that the door was unlocked, and now escape was before me. With hands that trembled with eagerness, I unhooked the chains and drew back the massive bolts.

But the door would not move. Despair seized me. I pulled, and pulled, at the door, and shook it till, massive as it was, it rattled in its casement. I could see the bolt shot. It had been locked after I left the Count.

Then a wild desire took me to obtain that key at any risk, and I determined then and there to scale the wall again and gain the Count's room. He might kill me, but death now seemed the happier choice of evils. Without a pause I rushed up to the east window, and scrambled down the wall, as before, into the Count's room. It was empty, but that was as I expected. I could not see a key anywhere, but the heap of gold remained. I went through the door in the corner and down the winding stair and along the dark passage to the old chapel. I knew now well enough where to find the monster I sought.

The great box was in the same place, close against the wall, but the lid was laid on it, not fastened down, but with the nails ready in their places to be hammered home. I knew I must reach the body for the key, so I raised the lid, and laid it back against the wall; and then I saw something which filled my very soul with horror. There lay the Count, but looking as if his youth had been half renewed, for the white hair and moustache were changed to dark iron-grey; the cheeks were fuller, and the white skin seemed ruby-red underneath; the mouth was redder than ever, for on the lips were gouts of fresh blood, which trickled from the corners of the mouth and ran over the chin and neck. Even the deep, burning eyes seemed set amongst swollen flesh, for the lids and pouches underneath were bloated. It seemed as if the whole awful creature were simply gorged with blood. He lay like a filthy leech, exhausted with his repletion. I shuddered as I bent over to touch him, and every sense in me revolted at the contact; but I had to search, or I was lost. The coming night might see my own body a banquet in a similar way to those horrid three. I felt all over the body, but no sign could I find of the key. Then I stopped and looked at the Count. There was a mocking smile on the bloated face which seemed to drive me mad. This was the being I was helping to transfer to London, where, perhaps, for centuries to come he might, amongst its teeming millions, satiate his lust for blood, and create a new and ever-widening circle of semi-demons to batten on the helpless. The very thought drove me mad. A terrible desire came upon me to rid the world of such a monster. There was no lethal weapon at hand, but I seized a shovel which the workmen had been using to fill the cases, and lifting it high, struck, with the edge downward, at the hateful face. But as I did so the head turned, and the eyes fell full upon me, with all their blaze of basilisk horror. The sight seemed to paralyse me, and the shovel turned in my hand and glanced from the face, merely making a deep gash above the forehead. The shovel fell from my hand across the box, and as I pulled it away the flange of the blade caught the edge of the lid which fell over again, and hid the horrid thing from my sight. The last glimpse I had was of the bloated face, blood-stained and fixed with a grin of malice which would have held its own in the nethermost hell.

I thought and thought what should be my next move, but my brain seemed on fire, and I waited with a despairing feeling growing over me. As I waited I heard in the distance a gipsy song sung by merry voices coming closer, and through their song the rolling of heavy wheels and the cracking of whips; the Szgany and the Slovaks of whom the Count had spoken were coming. With a last look around and at the box which contained the vile body, I ran from the place and gained the Count's room, determined to rush out at the moment the door should be opened. With strained ears, I listened, and heard downstairs the grinding of the key in the great lock and the falling back of the heavy door. There must have been some other means of entry, or some one had a key for one of the locked doors. Then there came the sound of many feet tramping and dying away in some passage which sent up a clanging echo. I turned to run down again towards the vault, where I might find the new entrance; but at the moment there seemed to come a violent puff of wind, and the door to the winding stair blew to with a shock that set the dust from the lintels flying. When I ran to push it open, I found that it was hopelessly fast. I was again a prisoner, and the net of doom was closing round me more closely.

As I write there is in the passage below a sound of many tramping feet and the crash of weights being set down heavily, doubtless the boxes, with their freight of earth. There is a sound of hammering; it is the box being nailed down. Now I can hear the heavy feet tramping again along the hall, with many other idle feet coming behind them.

The door is shut, and the chains rattle; there is a grinding of the key in the lock; I can hear the key withdraw: then another door opens and shuts; I hear the creaking of lock and bolt.

Hark! in the courtyard and down the rocky way the roll of heavy wheels, the crack of whips, and the chorus of the Szgany as they pass into the distance.

I am alone in the castle with those awful women. Faugh! Mina is a woman, and there is nought in common. They are devils of the Pit!

I shall not remain alone with them; I shall try to scale the castle wall farther than I have yet attempted. I shall take some of the gold with me, lest I want it later. I may find a way from this dreadful place.

And then away for home! away to the quickest and nearest train! away from this cursed spot, from this cursed land, where the devil and his children still walk with earthly feet!

At least God's mercy is better than that of these monsters, and the precipice is steep and high. At its foot a man may sleep---as a man. Good-bye, all! Mina!

I've played a lot of Castlevania games in my life and I wanted to break down all the various eras (as I see them) for anyone who hasn't played a Castlevania game before and might be interested. I'm going to cover all of the Castlevania games. So yes, this will be an extremely long and rambling post. We're going to see if Lemmy has any content limits for its posts.

The first thing to know about Castlevania games is that (almost) all of them have the same plot: someone resurrected Dracula (or is about to) and must be stopped. That's it. If a plot is present, that's the plot. Also, there are very few actual "sequels" throughout the entire franchise. This means there's no real continuity and you can jump in wherever you want. And with the magic of emulators, truly any of these games are available to you if you're interested.

In general (with some exceptions), Castlevania games fall into two categories. One which fans refer to as "Classicvania" and one that became "Metroidvania". Classicvanias are the "move to the right, fight a boss at the end" level-based games. Metroidvanias are the "entire map available at the start but you need additional abilities to access it all" type of game. I'll get into details later, I just wanted to clarify my section headings before diving in.

Classicvanias (8-bit era)

NES games:

• Castlevania (1986)
  The first one. It was released early in the life of the NES and is therefore more clunky than later games, but it sets the stage. The start screen has a film reel on it to show the major inspiration here is classic horror movie monsters. This isn't a horror game though, it's just a spooky game. As for gameplay, it's your standard "move to the right, fight a boss at the end" design. Overall, this is a tough game with knock-back (an enemy bumps into you and you fall into a pit) and some pixel-perfect jumps (I made that jump easily the first time, why can't I land it now??). With emulators and save states, it could still be fun. If you try to play it the way kids in the 80s were forced to though, you'll snap your controller in half.

• Castlevania II: Simon's Quest (1987)
  When the first Legend of Zelda game came out, it was a huge hit. It defined the top-down dungeon-crawling style of game on the NES. So naturally, for Zelda 2 they... completely reworked the entire gameplay and gave it side-scroller combat. Simon's Quest is a bit like that. After the success of the first Castlevania game, with its "move to the right, fight a boss at the end" design, they decided to completely rework the gameplay for the second game. Simon's Quest is non-linear. You have to talk to villagers to get clues, you have to collect items and then back-track to access a new area, and there's a day/night cycle (enemies are more difficult at night and villagers aren't around). This isn't an RPG though, it's just confusing. I said some villagers will give you clues, but some of those clues were mistranslated when brought to America so they weren't helpful at all. Today, this is a game you can't play without a walkthrough. It's ridiculous. I would absolutely skip this game unless you're a completionist.

• Castlevania III: Dracula's Curse (1989)
  Castlevania 3 is more of a "return to form" to Castlevania 1's gameplay and is better for it. This game also has some improvements. For example, after beating a stage, you can choose between one of two stages to go to next. This allows you to have more of a "journey" to Dracula's castle. Also, you can unlock additional characters along the way. Between the level selection and additional playable characters, there's actually quite a bit of re-play value here. Personally, this is my favorite Castlevania of the NES era. Castlevania 1 is an interesting time capsule, Castlevania 2 is an awkward mess (in my opinion), and Castlevania 3 is what I consider NES Castlevania to be. One interesting thing to note here is the American version of this game is more difficult than the Japanese version. For whatever reason, the enemies in the American release do more damage. There's also some minor 8-bit nudity that had to be censored in the American release to protect those poor impressionable American children.

Game Boy games:

• Castlevania: The Adventure (1989)
  This was one of the first games released on the Game Boy, and it shows. It's another awkward, clunky mess. It's interesting how Castlevania games tend to be one of the initial titles on a new console... and are worse for it. It usually takes a couple years for developers to really figure out what a console can and can't do, and Castlevania games seem to be testing grounds. All that is to say, this is a terrible game. The character has slow movement, there are no sub-weapons, and you have to constantly climb ropes (which are hard to grab). This game was remastered as Castlevania: The Adventure ReBirth on the Wii and was improved in every single way for that release. You can play the original Game Boy title just to see what it's like, but I would recommend playing ReBirth if you actually want to try this game. You'll need to pirate the game of course since it was a WiiWare exclusive and Nintendo shut down the WiiWare shop.

• Castlevania II: Belmont's Revenge (1991)
  There are some improvements here, like the addition of sub-weapons. Plus, it has a stage select screen like a Mega Man game where you can pick whichever level you want to complete first. Dracula's castle then unlocks after beating all the levels, like Wily's castle in Mega Man. Otherwise, it's still a game boy Castlevania game, it's pretty clunky.

• Castlevania: Legends (1997)
  The last Castlevania game on the Game Boy. This was released towards the end of the Game Boy's lifespan (the N64 was already available by this point) so it does a lot of things right. This is easily the best Castlevania game on the Game Boy but that's not saying much. The Game Boy had a small screen and limited hardware; so even when done right, these games are pretty minimal. You could skip all of the Game Boy Castlevania games and you wouldn't be missing much.

Classicvanias (32-bit era)

• Super Castlevania IV (SNES) (1991)
  The first Castlevania on SNES. This is typically regarded as the "easiest" Castlevania game, which makes it a good entrypoint for the Classicvania style of games. You can shoot your whip in 8 different directions (rather than just left or right) which really helps manage the difficulty. I don't know what else to say about this game. It's good. Unless you have nostalgia for the 8-bit era, this is where you should start with Castlevania.

• Castlevania: Rondo of Blood (PC Engine Super CD-ROM) (1993)
  I'll admit I'd never heard of the PC Engine Super CD-ROM prior to digging into Castlevania's backlog. And the game never left Japan. But among fans of the franchise, this is typically considered the "best" of the Classicvanias mostly due to gameplay and level design. There isn't much here that's unique, it's just all done extremely well. There are some branching paths in each level and you can unlock another playable character if you take the correct diverting paths. There was a SNES game called Castlevania: Dracula X which was released in 1995. It re-used a lot of the sprite work from Rondo of Blood but is actually an entirely different game. You can't play Dracula X and claim you've played Rondo of Blood, even though they look similar. That isn't to say Dracula X is a bad game, it just isn't as good as Super Castlevania IV or Rondo of Blood, which were both available at this time. There was also a PSP game called Castlevania: The Dracula X Chronicles which was a 2.5D graphical upgrade of the original Rondo of Blood. As far as I can tell, playing that game is more similar to playing Rondo of Blood than playing Dracula X. Also, if you beat the game it unlocks the original (32-bit) version of Rondo of Blood.

• Castlevania: Bloodlines (Genesis) / Castlevania: The New Generation (MegaDrive) (1994)
  In America, it was called Genesis. In Europe, it was called MegaDrive. In America, it was called Bloodlines. In Europe, it was called The New Generation. Whatever. This is a fun game with some really good graphics at the time. You also get to choose one of two playable characters right at the beginning. One has a standard whip, the other has a longer-reaching spear. This is a solid Classicvania game. It isn't the "best", it isn't the "easiest", it's just a solid game. And it's better than Dracula X.

• Castlevania Chronicles (PSX) (1993/2001)
  In 1993, there was a Japan-only game called Akumajō Dracula for the X68000. It was intended to be a remake of the original Castlevania (NES) game. 8 years later, it was ported to the Playstation 1 as Castlevania Chronicles and released to the rest of the world. This game is an interesting throw-back to the Classicvania genre and is actually the last of its kind. No more Classicvania games have been made after this game. And that's because the entire Castlevania franchise was redirected thanks to:

Metroidvanias

• Castlevania: Symphony of the Night (PSX) (1997)
  And here it is. The masterpiece. The game that defined Castlevania for all future games. If you want to play a Classicvania, you can play Dracula III, Super Castlevania IV, Rondo of Blood... there are plenty to choose from. But if you want a Metroidvania, you start here. Metroidvanias have become an entire genre of video games, an entire category in Steam. The genre's name is based on the two defining works of the genre: Super Metroid and Castlevania: Symphony of the Night. Those two games set the standard. And here we are.

Symphony of the Night took inspiration from that failed attempt at non-linear gameplay in Castlevania II: Simon's Quest and the successful non-linear exploration of Super Metroid. It also added RPG elements, with weapons and armor of differing stats that the player could equip. The beginning of the game has you playing as Richter Belmont and throws you right into a battle with Drcaula. This is actually the end of Rondo of Blood. After beating Dracula, you then play as Alucard for the rest of the game. So while Symphony of the Night is technically a sequel to Rondo of Blood, that opening sequence is the only real connection between the two. There's nothing else for me to say. This game defined a genre.

Igavanias

Koji Igarashi (known as Iga) was the assistant director on Symphony of the Night. After its success, he was given control of the Castlevania franchise and had a hand in all of the GBA and DS Castlevania games that came next. Basically, every metroidvania-style Castlevania game had Iga's involvement. All of them are good, all of them have the same level of quality, and I can barely remember the difference between any of them. They're all just "more Castlevania" to me. That isn't a bad thing, but this is where the franchise just blurs together as a non-stop barrage of metroidvanias. You really can't go wrong with any of them but I find it hard to rank them. The earlier games all had some quirk or oddity to discuss, but now we're into the meat of the franchise where they hit their stride and I don't have anything to add.

Game Boy Advance games

• Circle of the Moon (2001)
• Harmony of Dissonance (2002)
• Aria of Sorrow (2003)

Let's see... Circle of the Moon was released as a launch title for the GBA so it was of course more clunky and awkward than the games that came after. Aria of Sorrow introduces the character Soma Cruz, who is also the main character in Dawn of Sorrow, making it one of the few true "sequels" in the franchise. I remember nothing from Harmony of Dissonance. I'm sure it's fine.

Nintendo DS games

• Dawn of Sorrow (2005)
• Portrait of Ruin (2006)
• Order of Ecclesia (2008)

Again, Dawn of Sorrow is a direct sequel to Aria of Sorrow (for what it's worth). Portrait of Ruin has less of a connected map than most metroidvanias since you have to go into separate, distinct portraits that transport you to a different world. Order of Ecclesia is a great game and I don't remember anything specific.

All of the GBA games are available on steam as the Advance Collection. All of the DS games are available on steam as the Dominus Collection.

3D Games

While Classicvanias and Metroidvanias are where Castlevania shines, there have been a couple attempts to break into 3D gameplay.

• Castlevania (N64) (1999)
  The first attempt at 3D gameplay for the Castlevania franchise. It was awkward. This game isn't very good, even by N64 standards. Every N64 game at this time was trying to figure out exactly how to do 3D gameplay. How do you handle the camera? How do you actually "lock on" to an enemy so you don't miss? Also, this game was too ambitious and kept having to cut content in an attempt to hit their release date. It released in January of 1999.

• Castlevania: Legacy of Darkness (N64) (1999)
  The same year as Castlevania N64, Legacy of Darkness was released (in December). Legacy of Darkness is what Castlevania N64 was supposed to be. This is literally the game the development team had wanted when working on Castlevania N64. So it's more polished and coherent than Castlevania N64... but it's still clunky. I really don't have much love for the N64 era of games. This was the gaming industry as a whole trying to "figure out" how to make a 3D game. It took some time to perfect it.

• Castlevania: Lament of Innocence (PS2) (2003)
• Castlevania: Curse of Darkness (PS2) (2005)
  I didn't own a PS2... I never played these games. But by the PS2 timeframe, the gaming industry as a whole had figured out 3D gaming and I believe these games are well-regarded. I don't think they were award-winners, but they succeeded where the N64 Castlevania games failed. I'm sorry I can't go into more detail with these games but I believe they're worth playing.

The Reboot

• Castlevania: Lords of Shadow (all consoles) (2010)
  "Castlevania has been around for over 20 years doing the same thing! We need a REBOOT! What's that? 'God of War' is a popular game? LET'S MAKE ONE OF THOSE!"

• Castlevania: Lords of Shadow - Mirror of Fate (all consoles) (2013)
  "What's that? Castlevania fans want something called a 'metroidvania'?? MAKE ONE OF THOSE!"

• Castlevania: Lords of Shadow 2 (all consoles) (2014)
  "Stealth games are popular now?? Make a Castlevania game with stealth in it!"

The Lords of Shadow series is an outlier in the franchise but are also the most recent Castlevania games to come out. It's a full reboot of the franchise and an attempt to make an actual storyline. They even hired Patrick Stewart to play the mentor character and got Hideo Kojima as a producer in the first game. They did their best to make this a AAA title.

The first Lords of Shadow game is very reminiscent of God of War (the Greek ones). Overall, it's a solid hack 'n' slash. I think the puzzles get a bit tedious and the game drags out, but it doesn't really do anything wrong.

After the first Lords of Shadow, they released Mirror of Fate, which was a 2.5D metroidvania game that followed the same storyline. While the graphics look a bit weird in this game, it was made by MercurySteam. MercurySteam later went on to make Metroid: Samus Returns and after that, Metroid Dread. So they know what they're doing. While it's strange to shove a 2.5D metroidvania in between two 3D-based hack 'n' slash games, it's a solid game in its own right.

Lords of Shadow 2 takes place in the modern day and is the first Castlevania game to let you play as Dracula. And yet, while playing as Dracula, you're forced into stealth sections where if a single human guard spots you the level restarts. As if Dracula can't handle a lone guard. If you can ignore the fact that you're Dracula doing all this, it's a perfectly serviceable action stealth game. It's also a direct sequel from Lords of Shadow 1 so you can't really jump straight into this game (If you care about the plot).

The Oddballs, Oddities, and Black Sheep

• Kid Dracula (Famicom/Game Boy) (1990)
  A parody/chibi spin-off of the Castlevania series. You play as a childish version of Dracula (or maybe Alucard?) in a standard Classicvania-style format. I always liked how in the Game Boy version, Kid Dracula's teacher (Death) asks if he's been practicing his abilities and he says no, he forgot everything. Then as you beat each level, he "remembers" something he was always able to do and it unlocks an ability (like turning into a bat). I just liked the idea that he could've always done these things, he just forgot because he's lazy.

• Haunted Castle (Arcade) (1988)
  This is such an awful arcade game. The main character's sprite is huge and so slow moving you can't even avoid most enemies. Just terrible. A Haunted Castle Revisited was included in the Castlevania: Dominus Collection but I haven't played it to know how much they improved it. Who knows, it might actually be playable now.

• Castlevania Judgment (Wii) (2008)
  A fighting game using Castlevania characters. But all the characters have been re-designed to be more anime-like so you can't even recognize them. Ridiculous sexy outfits and buckles everywhere.

• Bloodstained
  Koji Igarashi left Konami in 2014. Since his departure, Konami has not made another Castlevania game. But Iga wasn't done making Castlevania games. So he made his own. Bloodstained is basically a "spiritual successor" to the Castlevania franchise from the guy who made every metroidvania Castlevania game. Bloodstained: Ritual of the Night is a Castlevania game in all but name. It was actually the result of a successful kickstarter and one of the stretch goals was to make a Classicvania. That game is Bloodstained: Curse of the Moon. If you enjoy Castlevania games, you'll want to pay attention to the Bloodstained franchise.

That's it. That's every Castlevania game. If you're interested in Classicvanias, Super Castlevania IV is a great starting point. If you can handle that style of gameplay, branch out into Rondo of Blood or Bloodlines. If you're interested in metroidvanias, you start with Symphony of the Night. After that, any of the GBA or DS games are great. I barely consider the Lords of Shadow series to even be Castlevania, but they're perfectly fine "recent' games since everything else is retro. Thank you for joining me on this journey. I wonder how many people actually read all that.