Today I Fucked Up

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/YaDrunkBitch on 2026-02-01 17:45:27+00:00.

---

We go to the library every other week. Like all 5 year olds, my daughter looked at the cover of a book, liked it, and wanted to check it out.

I don't remember what the book was called, something like "I Remember You". I didn't even clock it. The cover just had a boy and his dog.

At bed time, I start reading and everything seems fine.

The family gets a puppy, and every summer they go to a family beach house for 2 weeks, and the dog loves it there. He has a special tree at the beach house that he always sleeps under.

There's so many little tangents in the book that just make you love the dog that much more.

Then it starts talking about how the dogs old now, and how he doesn't run around at the beach anymore, he just lays under his favorite tree.

And then.... The dog dies. And the next trip to the beach house is them sprinkling his ashes around his favorite tree.

I couldn't. I choked up while reading this stupid wonderful book. I look at my daughter and her eyes are huge and full of tears. I asked her if she wanted me to keep reading. She said it was fine. But after we finished she needed a good cuddle because it was so sad.

I left my daughter's room and husband noticed I had been crying and asked what's wrong. I threw the book at him and told him to read it. And yeah, he cried too. So now the house is sad over a dog from a book that I should have preread before checking out.

TL;DR: skim through the books your young children want to read, so not to cause unnecessary trauma.

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Malloyphotos on 2026-02-01 15:44:59+00:00.

---

Tifu by bringing my crush to a bar. There is this girl I met let’s call her Jen. I over the last week have developed a huge crush on Jen and I have been trying to spend as much time with her as possible. We have been FaceTiming almost every night and spending a ton of time together. Jen is a social butterfly and enjoys having drinks so I thought hey she hasn’t really explored the bars in the area so I should take her out! Now we go out to the bar and mind you it’s a 45 minute drive to the bars from where we live. I’m super excited and really enjoying the car ride there we are talking listening to music and having a good time. As we get to the bar one of Jen’s friends is at one of the bars we wanted to go to so we decided to meet up with them. Let’s call her Holly and her boyfriend Percy. We begin hanging with holly and Percy and buy a round of drinks. Holly begins matching up Jen with men in the bar. After about 20 minutes in the first bar holly walks up to this guy and pairs off Jen and him we will call him Doug. Doug is a really nice guy and ends up hitting it off with Jen. I imagined they would flirt and then Jen’s attention would be back on me. After about 3 hours of being out it becomes apparent that’s not the case. Percy begins trying to pair me off with girls in the bar and I kinda told him about how I was here with Jen and I was hoping to make this like a date night and he leans over to me and says “dude I’m so sorry me and holly did not read that at all” so after him hyping me up about Jen he and holly decide to call it a night. I am Jen’s ride home so I literally third wheeled with Jen and Doug. After another hour I let Jen know hey I’m going to need to tap out soon and head home (I hadn’t drank since the start of the night and was getting really uncomfortable watching her and Doug) she said “oh it’s fine Doug can bring me home” I walked her to my car to get her keys and her charger and said bye to Doug and Jen. I felt ashamed and embarrassed as soon as they walked away from the car. I immediately sobbed for about 15 minutes. After taking some time to breathe and compose myself I drove the hour home took a nap and now I am chuckling about how stupid I was in this situation and how if I had just been more transparent about my feelings I could have dodged this entire situation.

TL;DR:

I took my crush out to the bars hoping for a date, but her friends didn’t realize that and actively set her up with another guy. She ended up hitting it off with him, I awkwardly third-wheeled all night, and she ultimately went home with him instead of me—turning what I hoped was a date into a painfully clear signal that she doesn’t see me the same way.

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Samdg3 on 2026-02-01 09:51:13+00:00.

---

To preface this I know nothing about whisky and I’m not really a fan.

About a year ago I invested in a whisky brand that was fronted by one of my favourite racing drivers. Besides the whisky, it was a good investment and has been paying off, so that's not the problem (I judged it on the business model and reviews of the product by experts, before you question the investment from someone that doesn't like actual the product!)

The problem is, as part of the investment I got sent a welcome back that included a nice bottle of whisky. I live with the mindset of ‘you only get one life’ so I’m not a collector nor do I save things ‘for best’.

Cut to this week, I’ve been struck down with a cold/the flu. I’m English and when we get ill we have trivial ways to make us feel better, I.e. A hot toddy. Whisky with a bit of lemon and honey. As you can imagine feeling rough as hell, I’ve been mainlining these things and have gone through about half a bottle along with my wife.

Yesterday, we were laying in bed recovering and what should arrive via first class courier? Another investor pack with two new bottles. In my flu induced stupor I googled one of these bottles and found out the one that got delivered yesterday is a 15 year old worth £275 ($376). I balked at the thought….

Then my brain jumped to the fact that the one we’ve been using for hot toddy’s, the one that arrived first, just after I invested, is a 20 year old…

Yep, after researching, I found our that the bottle of whisky I’ve been using for hot toddy’s to cure my cold is worth £395 ($540).

For someone that doesn't respect the value of whisky, I realised I’d just spent £395 on hocus pocus cold remedies.

Feel a bit stupid tbf. Was nice though.

TL;DR: Used a £395/$540 bottle of Whisky to cure my common cold. oops

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Ann_Ominous_ on 2026-02-01 00:06:02+00:00.

---

Tomorrow is the application deadline for the grad school program I'm hoping to study at. I had all the generic stuff finished a while ago, with only the writing sample left to submit.

I revised my essay for the 5th time yesterday, I checked for typos and grammar this morning, and then I uploaded the pdf an hour ago. Once it was uploaded, the application portal let me submit my application. I paid the fee, and I was finally done!

But then I got an email confirmation with a video about "next steps." The video started by explaining the statuses: submitted, in progress, verified, completed. Then it says that you should upload documents with at least 2 weeks until the application deadline, so the system has time to process everything. My heart sunk. I uploaded 1 day early, not 2 weeks.

I was so angry. I put so much time and effort and thought into this writing sample. I even enlisted my friends to give me feedback. Now I learn that I was supposed to submit everything 2 weeks ago, so things can process. I'm thinking this isn't reasonable. Like, they should have this written out somewhere. How is anyone supposed to know about a secret deadline?

So I double check my emails. The first email I received after signing up for the application portal had a link to a Q&A. I never opened it, until today. It has a timeline, which suggests turning in everything 4-6 weeks in advance of the application deadline. They want time to review the submissions and send notes back if something is missing.

I'm hoping I got everything completed correctly the first go around. And I'm hoping the system accepts my writing sample even without the 2 weeks to process. And I'm hoping whoever makes decisions about applications doesn't have access to the dates, so they don't know how badly I messed up.

Thank you for reading. Any similar stories and/or encouragement would be appreciated! (someone please tell me you did the same thing and everything worked out fine for you)

TL;DR: I knew that the application deadline is February 1st. But I fucked up by not reading the Q&A that says to submit documents 4-6 weeks ahead of the application deadline. I have no idea if my application will even get processed or considered.

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/StormBringer1X on 2026-01-31 18:46:19+00:00.

---

So at the end of week I had a small but cold screwup and I figured maybe the internet could laugh with me at my icy misery. I’ll start with saying I have been so obnoxiously stressed at work. With the winter weather, I haven’t been able to be at work to accomplish tasks I need to and have had to do what I can from home. This has set me behind about 3 weeks on my tasks and with conferences coming up I’ve been about two breaths from just screaming into the distance. Yesterday I had a rather large item in my room at work that I could not stand being in my room any longer, I decided to take it out to the shed and get it out if the way and noticed the already horrible door handle on the shed that barely unlocks seemed frozen. But the door was unlocked anyways so I plopped the item down and went about my way cause I had a LOT to do.

Now normally the shed at work stays locked. I was confused about why it wasn’t so I did the only sensible thing by locking it, as I figured I probably wouldn’t be back out to the shed till the Earth thaws. When I went back inside I went into another room to ask a coworker a question and accidentally interrupted their meeting, I felt so bad but I made up for it by offering to take their same large items out to the shed at the end of the day as I knew it’d take a lot off their plate.

I spent the rest of the day scrambling around getting a mountain if tasks done to the point where I was so stressed I could hardly stay focused. When I went to take my coworkers stuff to the shed, a different coworker offered to help me so I stubbornly agreed to help and went out only to find that the shed lock door was frozen which I had clearly already observed earlier. I spent a good 2-3 minutes in the cold trying to get the door to unlock to the point where I got mad and slammed the key into the lock several times. This was one of those moments where It was “ great just one more thing to stress me out”,resulting in the door unlocking and opening while an avalanche of snow from the roof of the shed also fell off the roof all over top of me down my sweatshirt and inside all of my clothes.

Normally I would have been mad about this but my coworker and I had a great laugh about it and I haven’t stopped laughing since. It was a good reminder to not let work stress affect life so much and to not always take life so seriously.

TLDR: I locked the shed door at work when I knew I shouldnt have and got mad at the door slamming the key into the lock because I was stressed with work resulting in me getting buried in snow

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Brilliant-Rush1173 on 2026-01-31 03:36:31+00:00.

---

Today I saw my ex going into a hotel with another guy. He’s the same guy who once posted her picture on his Instagram status with a romantic song after we had a fight. When I told her about it back then, she just said, “What can I do if someone posts my picture?” She used to talk to other guys too — even her ex from before me. I caught her multiple times chatting with other men. Whenever we fought, I would sometimes open her Snapchat hoping we’d resolve things and start talking again, but instead I’d find her engaged in conversations with someone else while I was waiting for us to fix our problems. Even after trying to make her understand for 10 months, nothing changed. So two months ago, I chose to break up for my own peace of mind. I know she wasn’t right for me, and ending the relationship was the right decision — but seeing her with that guy today hurt deeply. It’s painful to realize that the person who once loved only you is now smiling in someone else’s arms. Sometimes I feel like she probably doesn’t miss me at all, because she seems happy — posting, laughing, and enjoying her life — while I’m still here, not fully healed yet. 😓 "TL;DR:" DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/BearClawsOut on 2026-01-31 17:31:06+00:00.

---

This happened a few years ago and I’m still embarrassed when I think about it. I was doing my weekly grocery shopping at Trader Joe’s, eight months pregnant. This was my second pregnancy and being pregnant when you have a toddler means that pregnancy brain hits extra hard.

I’m very habitual when I go grocery shopping. I follow the same path and usually grab the same items every single time. I went down the first row and grabbed what I needed. Walked down the second row and got what I needed. Then I made my way down the frozen aisle. I grabbed what I needed from the right side, then looked to my left and saw something that made my pregnant brain go, “Oooooh yummy! I need this NOW.” I left my cart off to the right so it wouldn’t be in the way and grabbed the yummy item. Put it in my cart and continued shopping.

I finished my shopping and made my way to the cashier line. Only then did I notice… there were things in my cart that I definitely didn’t pick up. Not just one or two things, but half of the cart was filled with items I didn’t pick out. Suddenly it hit me - I must have stolen someone else’s cart. I RUSHED out of line, retraced my shopping path. Down the first aisle, down the second, and then to the frozen aisle. There it was: my cart right where I had left it. Parked on the right side where my pregnant brain got distracted by a tasty frozen snack.

I frozen for a solid 10 seconds, absolutely mortified. If I could have melted into a puddle, I would have. Instead, I glanced around and as quickly as possible I threw all my items in my original cart and ran away from the cart I stole. Then I waddled/ran my pregnant ass to the shortest cashier line, feeling absolutely mortified. I’m sure my face was bright red because it sure felt hot and my ears felt like they were filled with TV static. I’m usually quite chatty with the cashiers, but I didn’t say a word, barely heard anything they said, paid and got out of there as fast as I could.

Years later and I still feel embarrassed about it.

TL;DR I accidentally stole someone else’s shopping cart while pregnant and found my cart abandoned in the frozen aisle.

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/WeAgreed2Disagree on 2026-01-31 04:30:14+00:00.

---

I allowed one of my coworkers to set me up with her friend. The pictures she showed me of her friend made me think the following:

1. Attractive, check.
2. Loves dogs, check.
3. Gamer, check.
4. Employed, check.
5. Works out, check.

The friend ticked enough boxes for me. However, after meeting her in person, I became aware of the following:

1. She's had several cosmetic surgeries from top to bottom and she was talking about saving money for at least several follow up surgeries to fix this and that, including breast enlargement. She said she was low key hoping I was a gentleman who's willing to pay for our date because she recently spent I dunno how much on bleaching her butthole. I did my best not to judge, but damn, I never expected to hear the word "butthole" during the first 30 minutes of meeting someone.
2. She believed her dog was the reincarnation of her dead cat because her dog apparently meows in his sleep the same way her cat used to meow.
3. She lost all interest in gaming when she caught her bf masturbating while playing Tomb Raider, which apparently happened more than enough times for her to get "the ick" and eventually dumb his ass. She bragged about breaking up with him after peeing all over his PlayStation.
4. She still lives with her gooner gamer ex bf who's also her business partner.
5. She experiences panic attacks when gyms have too many attractive people, so she gyms at home whenever her gooner gamer ex bf is not around because he's fucking gooner.

Tl;dr Allowed my coworker to set me up with her friend who looked like she might be my type. Turns out, she can't pay for food because she spends all her money on cosmetic surgeries, she believes her dog is a cat, she pees on other people's property, she lives with her ex who gives her "the ick", and hot people in the gym freaks her the fuck out. So yeah, needless to say, no second date for us.

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/TheSnappleGhost on 2026-01-31 03:25:25+00:00.

---

It is about 1 hour post debacle. Being that I live in the Midwest and it's Friday, traditionally we go out for all you can eat fish fry. Today was no different and as usual we went out to the bar and ate copious amounts of deep fried fish.

Feeling absolutely stuffed afterwards we decided that we wanted to go for a walk but as it's below zero the only choice was the mall. However the mall closed in 30 minutes according to the website and we decided that we would go walk around Walmart in the next town over as one does when there's nothing else to do in the Midwest.

Shortly after arriving at Walmart, I got the bubble guts and I knew there was no way I was making it home. Well if any of you have ever been into a Walmart bathroom you know that it is a lawless no man's land.

Recently our Walmart upgraded to wall mounted toilets that have a shallow basin. I sat down to do my business and upon releasing the demon inside me, I must have relaxed enough and my balls dipped into the now murky brown shit water.

Now here's where it gets better. All the stalls were closed except the narrow one and I'm 6' 3" and a large man. I have ZERO room to spread out my legs making wiping near impossible and making it so every time I sat back down, I redipped my balls. I hastily flushed, wiped as best I could and stuffed some TP in my boxers as a just in case.

I headed out, checked out and rushed home to shower. Needless to say, I'm traumatized.

TL:DR-Got bubble guts in a Walmart after all you can eat fish, got stuck in the narrow stall and dipped my balls in diarrhea water.

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/MyManyMasks on 2026-01-30 16:38:58+00:00.

---

So, I work at a library and one of the programs I run is my DND program for kids. I have a really awesome group that comes in consistently and we are nearing the end of an almost 2-year campaign. Sometimes my players will bring me snacks. Think twinkies or fruit snacks and the like. One of my players hands me a silver package and tells me its a durian fruit pastry. In response I say.

"Oh, thanks so much, What's a Durian fru-" At that moment I've already torn into the package and I am hit with a wave of the most sulfuric horrid smell. Think of rotten eggs and gas, it immediately fills the room. My player begins to tell me that it's a fruit with a really pungent smell and is a delicacy in Asian countries. This kid is like 10 by the way, loves fun facts, he's a great kid but I think he underestimated how bad this would smell. I politely thank him for the food but inform him that for the sake of not passing out in our meeting room that I'm going to put it in our break room.

I take a moment to leave and proceed to place it in our freezer, because I thought that the scent wouldn't carry if it was concealed.

I'll start with the good news. The game went great! The scent persisted a bit in our meeting room but not for long. They survived an encounter with a horrible amalgamation of flesh and bone and are continuing up the tower toward the final boss.

Now the bad news. The game ends and I'm saying goodbye to our kids when I see my coworker S carrying coats and jackets out of the break room. I ask her what's going on and she pulls me aside, outside of ear shot of patrons and says

"Theres a heavy gas smell in the break room, we think a pipe has burst." As she says this my heart plummets into my stomach because I can hear sirens. In utter horror I turn and see a fire truck rounding the corner out our windows.

"Oh no. oh no, no, no, no, S, No hold on." I run in the back and there is already someone from our safety office holding a gas meter. Gas sensor? Something to look for gas. Anyway He is talking to my manger, who is relatively new and looks like he's about to have a panic attack. I rush past him whip open the fridge, pick up the pastry and say

"Is this what yours smelling?" as I hold the cracker like pastry thing outstretched. They don't get half a sniff in before going

"what the hell is that?" I don't even reply because now my worst fear is confirmed and instead I rush through the library, ask S to smell it one more time just to be sure. She does and then looks at me like

"Are you serious OP?" before doubling over laughing. I ran out the door and placed the devil pastry in our outside trash can and came back inside where two firemen had already arrived. Full gear and everything. One of them had a freakin AX!

I embarrassingly explain to them the situation and thankfully we all have a bit of a laugh over it while I proceed to turn a shade of red that sunsets wish they could be.

They actually made me feel pretty good about the whole thing. One of them even said that This isn't the first time they've had to be called out for a durian fruit. I guess this happens more than usual?

TL;DR: A patron brought me a durian fruit pastry and it smelled so much like gas that the fire department was called. We nearly evacuated the building.

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/VilkastheForsaken on 2026-01-30 16:21:46+00:00.

---

So my husband is unwell so he’s sleeping upstairs in our bedroom. I remember the bins need to go out because it’s trash day. I search for my shoes-can’t find them anywhere. Before you ask-I don’t own many pairs of shoes at all. I have weird ass feet.

So I decide I’ll be fine without them and walked out onto the snow barefoot. I had to wrestle the bins out of the snow before I dragged the bins to the curb from our backyard. I start to go back through the gate and inside. My feet are cold. My toes and sides of my feet are scarlet and toes are sore. Really sore. I throw a blanket over my feet for a little while to see if having a blanket over them will make them feel any better. Alas, they do not.

I go upstairs to try having a shower-my toes immediately start hurting like 10x worse when the water hits them.

I immediately get out and dry off. I’m crying; my husband wakes up and asks what is wrong. I tell him of my sheer ass stupidity.

Him: “You what???”

I sit on the toilet and cry while he tries massaging my left foot around my toes. He asks me to get my warm socks. He tucks me into bed and puts my socks on my feet. He then starts massaging both feet around my toes. The pain goes away mostly, THANK GOD.

He kisses my forehead and tells me to never do that again. He says that it was a stupid thing to do but thanks me nonetheless for getting the bins out onto the curb for us.

We both have a cuddle in the dark under warm blankets as I regret my decision to take the bins out anyway despite the fact it’s like -10 C outside and I had no shoes on.

I’m not from such a cold place and have never had to deal with snow.

I am originally from a warm country and as such have never been around such temperatures or conditions.

Tl;dr: I fucked up by walking through snow barefoot, causing myself pain and I think my husband a little exasperation.

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Wosgoingon on 2026-01-30 14:01:30+00:00.

---

So technically this isnt a TODAY I fucked up, it was years ago, but the story doesnt belong in confessions and it was a definitely a fuckup.

So I was about 22 and after leaving home at 16 I had come back to my parents to live for a while.

I was in the habit of going out Friday and Sat nights and getting absolutely shitfaced and then coming home in the early hours of the morning and waking everyone up.

This as you can imagine was not making me popular with my parents and it resulted in more than a few 'heated' conversations.

But I was young and I was an arsehole and I did not care about anyone but myself.

So on the fateful weekend I went out on Friday night and came home at something like 3am absolutely blitzed and realised I had left my jacket in the after hours pub. So I banging on the door until my parents woke up to let me in seemed like a good idea.

It wasnt a good idea....

When I woke up the following day we had a blazing row and I was told with absolute certainty, if I did this again I was moving out with no further discussion.

I did actually feel bad and it did sink in.

That evening (Saturday) I went out, met my mates in the pub, spent all night drinking and then we all went to a house party nearby.

Eventually I got a taxi home and ended up outside my parents house and about 3am again, so shitfaced it was a miracle that I was still upright, when I realised I did not have my keys again.

My mothers words from earlier in my head I knew that waking my family up would end badly, but I really wanted my bed... when I looked at the front of the house and came up with what seemed in my addled state to be a brilliant idea.

My bedroom was on the front of my house. My main windows were shut, but a skylight window was open... If only I could reach my window...

I went round the back of the house, climbed over the fence and let myself into the garage where there were a couple of ladders, one of which was a 3 piece extendable ladder.

So I took the ladder of the wall hooks, put it on my shoulder and carried it out the garage and (surprisingly) only knocked a few things over.

I got the ladder into the garden, hoofed it over the fence, climbed back over the fence, took it to the front garden, extended the ladder and stood it up against my bedroom window and climbed up with a view to getting in my skylight.

In my mind I had done all this silently and not disturbed anyone.

I was later to find out that while I had somehow failed to wake my parents, I had woken up both the neighbours and the people on the opposite side of the road, and there were at least two 999 calls reporting a burglary in progress.

In my world where I was being stealthy and ninja-like, I got to the top of the ladder and tried to climb in the skylight window headfirst.

But I just couldnt do it. I managed to get my shoulders in, and I got in as far as my waist, but my jeans and my belt caught on the window latch and with my weight on it and in my pissed state, it didnt matter how much I wriggled or how may times I tried I just couldnt work out how to get past my belt and my waistband.

I dont know how long I was struggling like this for, but eventually I decided that this wasnt working and it was time to back out and come up with a different plan, but as I somehow wriggled backwards back onto the ladder I was suddenly aware of people in the garden shining torches at me and shouting at me to come down.

The Met police finest officers had arrived...

I will never know how I actually managed to back out and come down the ladder without falling, but I did, and as soon as I was down I was grabbed and unceremoniously handcuffed with my hands in front of me.

I looked a right state. Aside from being extremely drunk, I was covered in mud where I had fallen over in the flower bed when climbing the back fence, and I had blood all over the front of my T shirt from where I had cut my stomach trying to slide over the window latch.

They absolutely did not believe it was my parents house and it was my bedroom window.

After a bit of arguing one of them said if it was my house the occupants could identify me if they were woken up so they would bang on the door.

NO. NO, visions of being homeless flooded into my head. I begged... PLEASE dont wake them up.

The officer said "See I knew you were lying"

I was moved towards the 2 police cars that were stopped in the road resigned to the fact a night in the cells was a better option than the wrath of my mum relieved that she wasnt going to be woken up...

I dont know what the thought process was in my mind but I honestly thought I had talked them out of knocking on the door to inform my parents there had been a burglary attempt and I had got away with it...

Just as I was being walked towards the police car I saw the porch light come on and realised that one of the officers was ringing the doorbell and banging on the door.

I saw the door open, was filled with complete panic and felt the hand on my shoulder relax, and in that instant, completely shitfaced and handcuffed I knew there was only one sensible thing I could do.

RUN AWAY

I just bolted and ran for my life jumping over obstacles. In my mind I was making this amazing getaway.

In reality I got about 3 metres before this officer the size of a forward prop rugby player slammed into me and I went down like a sack of potatoes.

I had a fleeting glimpse of my mum in her nightie shouting "IM GOING TO BLOODY KILL HIM!" before I vanished under a pile of uniforms as they all bundled onto me to make sure I didnt try to get up.

Initially my mum was raging. Then my dad came out and after speaking to the officers and identifying me, and talking to me (now sitting in a bundle handcuffed in the back of the police car) he established what I had done and started to laugh.

I was eventually de-arrested and released and allowed indoors to clean myself up.

My dad, aside from being woken up, thought the whole thing was funny and he talked my mum down, and by the time I sobered up and everyone got some sleep she saw the funny side too.

I didnt get thrown out and I did learn my lesson.

And I hid a key in the back garden for any future emergencies.

For the record I did start to behave responsibly and I didnt destroy my relationship with my parents.

This story got told at my wedding.

TL;DR I got pissed, tried to break in to my parents home then tried to run away after I was arrested

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/frostyamelisse on 2026-01-30 13:47:11+00:00.

---

The event took place two hours ago, but I still experience intense emotional pain. I believe that I will never be able to return to this place anymore. My neighbor requested me to take care of her cat while she went away for the entire weekend, which seemed like an easy task to accomplish. The neighbor provided me with her key, which enabled me to identify all the necessary items for her house. I already completed this same task for different people, so I can handle this assignment without any issues.

I am actually a foolish person because I made a mistake.

I woke up this morning with the realization that I needed to feed the cat because I almost forgot about it yesterday too. I took the key to leave for my destination at 9am. I unlocked the door to enter the building when a big orange cat started running towards me. The cat that belongs to my neighbor does not match the description because it is small and gray in color. But half-asleep me just goes “huh weird maybe she got another one?” and keeps going like nothing’s off.

When I entered the kitchen area, an orange cat began to follow me throughout the space while making loud noises as I searched for unfamiliar food items. The kitchen layout feels different but my brain's like "eh maybe you're just remembering wrong." Then I started to hear upstairs footsteps which followed a man who spoke "who's there??"

I accidentally entered the incorrect residence.

The neighbor lives at 847, but I mistakenly entered 847B, which belongs to the adjoining part of the duplex. The key functioned because the older houses contained similar lock systems according to the locks which existed throughout these premises. I stand in a stranger's home at 9am on Saturday morning without knowing how I ended up there.

He comes downstairs in his boxers holding a baseball bat, we lock eyes I’m frozen holding his cat food container while his cat is still screaming at me and all that comes out of my mouth is “I’M SO SORRY I THOUGHT YOU WERE LINDA.” Which makes zero sense because Linda is a sweet older lady and this guy is clearly not Linda material. My brain completely malfunctioned through the entire sentence.

He asks "who the hell is Linda?" while I back away from the door, which I try to explain through cat-sitting, keys and his cat, who walks through my legs as if it wanted to trip me. His girlfriend enters the room, which she also barely dressed, and she screams in terror upon seeing me (which honestly fair). There’s just some random stranger standing in their kitchen with cat food at 9am on a Saturday morning!

I repeat, "wrong house! wrong house! so sorry!" as I run outside the building, which leads me to leave their cat food container behind while my panic mode fully activated. I have to return at some point to retrieve it, but I cannot handle that level of embarrassment yet.

The three neighbors outside my building started to stare at me with hostile looks after I finished feeding Linda's actual cat at her actual house because they believed someone had broken into our property and called the police. The police accused me of theft, which they believed I committed. I attempted to explain what happened, but my explanation of accidentally entering another person's house because I had an operational key sounded suspicious when I tried to explain it out loud.

Linda will return tomorrow, which means I must explain to her why everyone believes her pet sitter turned burglar while I find a way to return the couple's container without experiencing embarrassment. My plan involves buying them a replacement container, which I will place on their porch along with an apology note because I cannot face them again.

The look on that guy’s face when I said “I thought you were Linda” will haunt me forever pure confusion mixed with terror and his girlfriend probably thought she was about to get murdered by some lunatic holding kibble.

TL;DR: Tried helping my neighbor by taking care of her cat but ended up using an incorrect key on the wrong side of a duplex walking into strangers’ home and terrifying everyone who now thinks I'm a burglar emotionally destroyed forever.

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/CupEducational1412 on 2026-01-30 12:23:20+00:00.

---

Alright, I think it’s time this sad story is finally told. Time has eased the sting of shame, but the secret is still heavy to carry, and I need to share it. I hope you won’t judge me too harshly as you read this, and I beg for your mercy in advance.

I was 21 or 22 years old and went to a family gathering with my girlfriend at the time (now my wife), at her grandparents’ house. Her parents were there, her brothers, all her uncles, aunts, and cousins. You should know that her family is fairly well-off, they’re all bankers, insurance executives, lawyers, or engineers at big companies, while I come from a more modest background. You can imagine how nervous I was about making a good impression, especially since I was meeting some of them for the first time.

My girlfriend’s family tends to eat a lot and drink a lot, which I wasn’t really used to, and that will matter in the tragedy to come. Her grandfather in particular kept refilling everyone’s plates and glasses, mine included, which I took as a good sign. It’s also worth mentioning that he had started developing Alzheimer’s disease. He was beginning to forget things and occasionally behaved in strange ways.

After the third boozy feast of the weekend, I started feeling pretty bad. So I went upstairs to use the bathroom, and that’s where everything went off the rails.

I produced an absolutely massive piece of crap. As long and thick as my forearm, an apocalyptic sight. I had never seen anything like it. After a moment of intense intestinal relief, I quickly realized that my girlfriend’s grandparents’ old toilet had very, very little water pressure, and there was absolutely no way it could flush this monstrous turd away.

I panicked at the thought of clogging my in-laws’ toilet, and there was no way I was going to ask my girlfriend or her family for help in that situation. I tried breaking it up with the toilet brush, hoping the pieces would eventually go down. After several long minutes of battle and three or four flushes, I finally succeeded.

But at what cost…

The toilet brush was in a horrific state, completely covered in soft, sticky shit. I couldn’t just leave it there, and cleaning it didn’t seem like an option either. So in my half-drunken logic, I did the only thing that felt reasonable: I opened the skylight and placed the brush on the roof, hoping it would slide into a gutter and disappear forever.

That’s when I watched it roll down the roof and, thanks to its momentum, flip right over the gutter and fall straight into the garden, in front of the dining room window, where everyone was still gathered.

I was horrified. Had everyone just seen a shit-covered toilet brush fall from the roof in front of their eyes?

After a few seconds of pure terror, I decided to act quickly, hoping I could still save my dignity, and my relationship, and not become the family’s worst story ever.

I rushed back downstairs and, to my immense relief, realized that no one had seen anything.

I then pretended I wasn’t feeling well (which was pretty believable) and said I was going to get some fresh air in the garden. Dinner was over, everyone was chatting in the dining room and living room, and it didn’t draw any attention.

Once outside, I quickly grabbed the toilet brush and got rid of it as fast as possible. Despite, or because of, my drunkenness, I decided to throw it into the tall grass in the yard of the nasty old neighbor next door, who the whole neighborhood hated because of her awful personality.

Then I went back inside without raising any suspicion.

And that was that.

No one ever mentioned the missing toilet brush. By the time I visited again, the neighbor had mowed her lawn and there was no trace of it. I integrated perfectly into my girlfriend’s family, and today we’re married with a child.

I assume the disappearance of the toilet brush, and its possible discovery by the neighbor, covered in shit in her garden, must have been blamed on my wife’s grandfather and his illness, which I’m deeply ashamed of. The neighbor might also have blamed the local kids. I’ll probably never know.

So there you have it, my darkest secret. I swear this story is true, and I hope I haven’t shocked you too much. I needed to get it off my chest.

I’m truly sorry for depriving my wife’s grandparents of a toilet brush, for so horribly soiling the neighbor’s garden, and for likely letting a sick old man take the blame for my crime.

Sorry for everything.

TL;DR: I almost clogged the toilet at my girlfriend’s grandparents home, soiled the toilet brush and threw it in the garden of the neighbour.

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Emperor_Eyes on 2026-01-30 00:33:52+00:00.

---

So, reddit. I'll try my best to give context without names or genders because i don't know if these people have reddit accounts. I'm sorry if it's confusing, i'll try my best to make it as clear as i can.

Today a coworker (X) told me about another coworker(Y) who was slacking around and not doing their job - and that also made my job harder. X does the same thing as me and Y do, but on another department, for context.

My boss (and everyone else) already knew that Y was slacking around, but when X told me what they were doing instead of doing their job, i got furious and lashed out in an audio that i sent: back to them? No.

In my job's group. I DID NOT NOTICE THAT I WAS SENDING IT THERE.

My boss quickly told me to delete it and i did, then i talked to them about it and she said that it was fine, it was a mistake and mistakes happen, that's not really the issue and i couldn't care less if Y listened to it. After that, i told my boss what happened and they said that it was fine, and asked me to tell them who told me that.

I didn't, but they know that X is basically my biggest friend in my workplace.

X is furious with me and i don't blame them, because i didn't pay attention, and i don't blame them if they never want to talk to me again. My boss told me that both me and them wouldn't have any repercutions, because we didn't make any real mistakes and Y was actually the wrong one.

But i can't tell that to X, or else they will think that i said that they told me about what Y was doing. I already asked for forgiveness but i don't think that we'll keep on being friends and i'm very aware that I'm the one to blame. I feel like as snitch even though i didn't say any names but my boss KNOWS who X is, and even if they say that it's fine and both me "this somebody" are cool, my anxiety tells me that everyone hates me, because my other close coworkers already know what happened.

TL:DR: I sent an audio on the wrong group about something that a friend told me someone else was doing, and now this friend probably hates me.

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/inmatenumberseven on 2026-01-30 00:59:11+00:00.

---

Today was in fact 1997-ish. I was working at one of Canada’s largest public broadcasters, the educational network TVOntario, in what was called The Online Group.

In those days, our role was to find out “if this new Internet thing would be useful for teaching.” As a creative director, that was the best mandate ever.

Across huge parts of Canada, millions of children tuned in to TVOKids every afternoon. The interstitial TVOkids hosts were (and are) superstars.

One of their most popular segments was The Thunderwheel™: a child phones in, the host spins the wheel, they get a trivia category, and the child tries to answer the question. Fun times had by all.

So let’s create an online version, right?

Because our goal was to create educational games, we developed a fully animated, cartoon version that pulled topics and questions from a database.

To make it fun for kids, we decided to add a leaderboard where any kid with a top score could see their name until someone else got a better score. Just like at the arcade.

But the leaderboard presented a risk: kids would find creative ways to put swear words instead of their names, for all to see. As a publicly-funded educational organization, we couldn’t have that. But this was 30 years before artificial intelligence. So what could we do?

A bunch of us young people spent an entire day brainstorming every possible bad word we could think of and then every potential variation in spelling for each. And then we took it to the pub, had several drinks, and made it much worse. 

Guys, we were thorough. We had the worst naughty words you can think of in there. The. Worst. That list would’ve made Al Swearengen repent. It was over 500 words long.

Did I tell you we were on a tight deadline? 

The game involved a spinning cartoon wheel, with trivia categories on each pie section.

It was cutting-edge for 1997. It used a randomizing algorithm. It pulled trivia categories from a database and superimposed them on the illustrated wheel as it spun. It made sure kids didn’t get the same questions if they visited multiple times. It was animated in Macromedia Flash.

At the end of the game, if your score was high enough, you got to put your name on the leaderboard for all to see.

Or that’s how it was supposed to work.

On the Saturday morning when Thunderwheel was set to launch, I, as the team lead, proofread the trivia questions one last time. Then I completed the final step required before launch: I uploaded two databases.

One contained hundreds of educational trivia questions and explanations. The other, a list of the worst words ever uttered in English or French.

And then, friends, I rewarded myself by going to brunch.

Upon my return, several hours later, I eagerly opened my email, expecting congratulatory messages from our team and wondering whether the servers were keeping up with the load.

Instead, I had over 1,000 messages from very angry parents, most calling for someone to be fired. And many more were arriving by the minute. Some of them used words they could’ve learned in that second database.

I no longer remember how it was even possible, but I had somehow reversed the databases.

For several hours, anyone who pressed the spin button on the Thunderwheel got an eyeful. Instead of six trivia categories, the wheel was labelled with six words no child should ever read. And when they pressed the spin button again? They got six new words. And then six more. And then six more.

We had announced this game on TV. It was Saturday morning. You can imagine how often it was played while I ate French toast on a patio. Tens of thousands of children learned some fancy new words by the time I switched the databases back.

Thankfully, upon receiving my heartfelt, Hanlon’s Razor explanation, most of the parents (and the police, I learned many years later) chose to ascribe the fiasco to my incompetence rather than anyone’s malice. We had, in fact, been trying to protect their children from this list pulled from the depths of a bunch of overworked twenty-somethings.

TL;DR: While launching a kids’ educational game in 1997, I accidentally uploaded our profanity-filter database instead of the trivia database, briefly transforming a children’s quiz wheel into Canada’s most effective swear-word teaching tool.

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/PumpkinMaster1323 on 2026-01-29 11:26:30+00:00.

---

It was a beautiful afternoon as I was coming home from work, I parked up and got out of the car, when I noticed something flapping and scurrying on the ground on the path outside my house. I went to investigate to see it was; it was a pipistrelle bat, the poor thing was downed its wing was messed up and was in the middle of the day, this is incredibly dangerous for it. I rushed inside to grab a shoe box, towel and put latex gloves on. I then went back out to put the bat into the box as I did I saw it bite my finger, I felt pressure but thought nothing of it. As I was giving the bat water using an old chopstick and dipping in clean water, I then tried to contact the Bat Conservation Trust to get any information; unfortunately I called just at the time they were all out for a 2 hour break (???). So I called the vets instead, they told me to bring the bat in and had to fill out some forms, they took the bat away and hope for a speedy recovery of the poor thing.

I then went back home and as I was about to throw away the gloves I notice a hole in the finger. Crap! I looked at my finger, but could see nothing. I started to panic, even though bats these days have a 1% chance of giving you rabies its still 1% (put it this way you have 100 M&Ms and one of them is laced with cyanide would you still eat those M&Ms?). I was pacing for a few hours contemplating should I go to hospital I didn't want to waste the NHSs time. At this point my wife came home and I told here everything. She told me to call 111, so I did I explained the situation and they booked me an appointment and the emergency hospital in Canterbury.

We headed to the hospital (my wife drove us) where I was seen in no time at all, I told them everything and they said they could see anything and told me to go home. This got me confused, worried and I started to panic more, but on the way home I got a phone call from them saying that actually due to protocols I did need a rabies vaccine! They told me they have just closed (this started to feel like they were near the closing time when I arrived and tried to brush me off to go home early) and they also said didn't have the vaccine anyway and had to go to QEQM.

We headed there told them the situation, and told me to take a seat. I waited for 10 hours until I was seen and they took blood and told me to take a seat again. Another 5 hours went by in which they told me they do not have the Rabies Vaccine in stock here. At this point in my head I am truly panicking. However there was inventory at Canterbury and is being delivered as we speak (so basically Canterbury lied to me TWICE!). 3 more hours went by and was finally given the vaccine (I then had to get 3 more shots in the foreseeable future, but they could be done at my local surgery).

Exhausted me and my incredible wife who stayed with me all the way though this headed home and was now 8am the next day. I phone my boss telling hime I just needed 1 hour sleep before heading in and told him what happened. Luckily he was very understanding and headed in the next hour.

When I got into work I waited till the vets opened to get a catch up on how the little one was doing. When I called they told me "Sorry due to extensive damaged to the bats wing we had to put it down". I thanked her and hung up.

My world blackened, my heart stopped and I slumped to the floor and began to cry uncontrollably for a good 15 mins (thank god everyone at work was out doing a fitting job).

TL;DR: Got bit by a bat spent over 18 hours waiting for a Rabies vaccine!! Only to be given the news the bat had to be put down!! All because I didn't use thicker gloves!

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/ClassroomUnable5211 on 2026-01-29 06:32:09+00:00.

---

I'm a teacher (for now at least) in a small K-8 school.

We have a student who is extremely difficult. Jim has constant behavior problems, and has since he started here. At this point he'd pretty much infamous for it. He has severe ADHD, poor impulse control and probably ODD along with it, and a horrible temper.

In my opinion, he needs to have someone with him 1 on 1 at all times, to protect other students from him. As it is, we don't have the staffing to do so.

He constantly harasses and picks on other kids, especially the ones younger than him (he's 8), and no amount of redirecting, coaching, etc ever makes a difference. If you redirect him from trying to punch another kid to playing with the tether ball, he just tries to smash the tether ball into someone else. If you try to calmly explain that 'we don't treat other people unkindly' he ignores it or rolls his eyes until you're done talking. If you put him in a corner or scold him he just stands there smirking at you.

To be honest, it's incredibly infuriating. And no, I am not interested in hearing about how 'he's just a baby, he doesn't know any better, you have to teach him and have patience and on and on'. He's 8. He's old enough to know his behavior is wrong, and he does. He just doesn't care.

I don't think a week has gone by without me at least hearing about him having an incident with someone.

And for some reason, he's constantly doing it around me, or throwing things (especially rocks) at me, or trying to take my things and run off with them. I am beyond tired of this, and admin is no help of course. The kids parents seem like they're trying but they have no idea what to do with him.

Today he was recess in my block and I saw Jim start to approach a kid a grade younger than him and headed over to stop whatever was about to happen. Before I could get to them, he'd grabbed this little boys braid and ripped it right out of his head.

Another teacher came running over when the boy starting wailing. I scooped up the boy who's braid was ripped out, and told Jim very flatly that it's 'no wonder you don't have any friends. No one like's a bully' and left him with the other teacher while I took the bleeding boy to the nurse.

Apparently after I left Jim started screaming and crying about how he 'does have friends' and 'isn't a bully'. That's not true. He had no friends, no one wants to hang out with him willingly, no one wants to sit next to him in class or during activities.

I'm sure I'm going to be reprimanded at the very least for losing my temper and not being kinder or more patient with neurodivergent student. And I do know better, I knew I shouldn't be saying it when I said it.

I was just tired of it.

TLDR: I told a boy that his actions are why he doesn't have any friends and I might get in serious trouble at my job for it.

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/sassyLindaa on 2026-01-29 00:50:21+00:00.

---

Okay, Reddit… this one makes me feel like the worst person alive.

My ex (let’s call him “Jake”) was in the hospital recovering from a minor surgery. Nothing life-threatening, just a procedure he needed. While he was there, I found out he had been cheating on me. I won’t go into all the details, but it was a huge betrayal.

So when I went to visit him, I was hurt, angry, and honestly just overwhelmed. And I… broke up with him right there. In his hospital bed.

I know I had every reason to end things—cheating is not okay—but seeing him weak, groggy, and vulnerable while I said it… oh god, I feel awful. I keep replaying it in my head and feeling like a monster, even though logically I know I did the right thing.

TL;DR: Found out my ex was cheating, broke up with him while he was in the hospital, and now I feel like the worst human being ever—even though he deserved it.

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/SoffieLily on 2026-01-29 00:29:32+00:00.

---

Okay, so… hi Reddit. I honestly can’t even believe I’m typing this out, but here goes.

So my home life has been kind of… a mess. Like, broken-home-level messy. My parents fight all the time, barely talk to me, and honestly, it’s exhausting. I’ve been holding it together for years, trying to keep the peace, but one night I just… snapped.

I grabbed a backpack, some cash, my favorite hoodie, and just… left. Ran. Didn’t tell anyone. My heart was pounding, my hands were shaking, and for like 10 minutes I felt… free? But also completely terrified.

Now I’m sitting in a friend’s apartment, thinking about everything I left behind and wondering if I made the “right” choice. I love my family… I just can’t deal with the chaos anymore. I feel so guilty, but also… relieved? And honestly, I don’t even know if I’m ready to go back.

TL;DR: I ran away from my messed-up family situation, and now I’m emotionally torn between freedom and guilt.

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/mr_pineapples44 on 2026-01-28 01:02:46+00:00.

---

So, I'm a teacher, and I've been on summer holidays. During this time, I didn't sign into my emails as generally none would be received. As I was expecting to return tomorrow (likely because I didn't pay attention last year, and we usually go back on Thursdays) I signed in today...

And I have an email from yesterday, talking about the timetable for today's activities (it's just a prep day, students don't return until Monday, so, I'm not leaving the school totally up shit creek)

Now this wouldn't be a problem, because if I got in my car as soon as I read that email, I'd just be 10 minutes late, and it would be a minor inconvenience.

But as I didn't know about this, I have a full custody day with my kids. So, now I'm waiting for a phone call from the school any minute, while also waiting for my kids to be dropped off in a bit.

Oh well, going to enjoy my day with the kids, and hope I don't get fired for not checking my emails haha.

Update: didn't receive a phone call or email about my lack of being there - so, not sure what I'm working into tomorrow. I'll just tell them the (mostly) truth - I got my days mixed up, and I had the kids, and they'll probably dock me a day's pay and it won't go much further.

Tl;dr: didn't check my work emails, missed the fact that we're returning a day earlier than expected and I've got my kids today.

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Lilyfory on 2026-01-27 23:48:04+00:00.

---

Today I completely messed up because I thought I set my alarm last night. I have a routine where I check my phone before bed to make sure the alarm’s on… but apparently last night my brain decided I didn’t need it.

I woke up in a panic and realized I was an hour late for an important doctor’s appointment. The worst part? The queue for this doctor was 5–6 months long, so missing it wasn’t just inconvenient — it might’ve been half a year before I get another slot. I threw on clothes, grabbed my bag, and ran out the door, heart racing and sweat forming from pure panic.

When I finally got there, the doctor still let me in, but I had to wait the entire day until there was a free window in his schedule. I spent hours sitting in the waiting room, half annoyed, half panicking, silently judging myself for trusting my memory over a simple alarm. My phone sits there innocently on my nightstand, smugly showing 20:46 as im writting this on my laptop, set the alarm for tommorow's work.

TL;DR: Thought I set my alarm for an important doctor appointment with a 5–6 month queue, didn’t, woke up late, and had to spend the whole day waiting for the doctor to fit me in.

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/ninetyninewyverns on 2026-01-28 07:47:40+00:00.

---

Obligatory "i didn't actually fuck up today but over the course of a few months (more like my entire life) blah blah blah". Okay let's get into it.

For some context, growing up, I was never taught to wash my hairbrushes. Nobody told me to, and I just never thought of it. Seems pretty obvious in hindsight, but hindsight is always 20/20. Anyway. The only form of cleaning I would do is pull the hair off of them. And to be quite honest with you, I didn't even do that as often as I should have. I would let the hair build up and build up until I was peelling off a clump of hair in the shape of the brush head.

I just used one brush for the majority of my childhood, and I carried on with this nonexistant cleaning routine thinking nothing of it. Through elementary, middle and high school I continued using the same brush. Rubbing that nasty hair and gross buildup in my clean hair. Of course, I didn't know that at the time.

I've always been a little confused by the fact that no matter what shampoo and conditioner I try, I can never seem to get the scent to "stick" to my hair after the shower. In addition, my hair has always gotten greasy only a day or two after the wash. So, after the shower my hair would always just end up smelling wet and musty more than anything. This really did a number on my confidence with my hair as a teenager and I didn't bother styling it further than a ponytail. I just didn't believe that I could get supermodel hair, so I never really put any effort into learning to take care of it, either.

So anyway, I did try fixing the problem. I tried replacing my brushes every couple months, which worked for a while, but eventually the grease and lack of shampoo scent would return. I tried all sorts of different products from expensive salon products to bargain barrel, dollar store products. Nothing left a pleasant scent on my hair, and none of the brushes seemed to help either. I tried leave-in conditioner thinking maybe that would help, maybe that's what all the girls in my class are doing. I tried dry shampoo between washes which definitely improved the scent overall, but wasn't the root cause of the problem.

Fast forward to today. I am 21 years old, far from the naivété of my high school days. I recently grabbed a new hair brush, a "Wet" hairbrush, and I picked up another new kind of shampoo. I've been cleaning this hairbrush regularly (i threw out my old wooden one with boar bristles because it was getting nasty with buildup and it was a pain in the ass to pull the hair off of). I also have a cylindrical hairbrush that I got a couple months ago, which was starting to have the same problem as all the previous ones. The hair started to pile up and so did the buildup. So i got to work "cleaning" it.

I decided to use some hair scissors in the bathroom cabinet to cut through the hair, thinking I could peel it all off. I wasn't really getting anywhere with that so I looked up on Google "how to get hair off of a cylindrical hairbrush". That only gave me results for how to get it out of your own hair, like if it was stuck in the hair on your head, which is probably useful to somebody, but certainly not to me. I then looked up "how to clean cylindrical hairbrush" and clicked on a YouTube video.

They went over scrapers, using a comb, and some other tools. But the video wasn't over yet.

The guy then started discussing that you should soak and scrub your brushes every two weeks to a month.

...I have never cleaned a hairbrush in my. Entire. Life.

And then it finally dawned on me. It dawned on me that this is the reason I've been dealing with nasty-ass hair for my entire childhood and early adult life. It dawned on me that it wasn't the brushes' or the products' fault for my gross hair. It was me. I was the root of the problem all along. And that problem was that I, again, have never washed a hairbrush in my entire fucking life. So I had just been rubbing the grease and product buildup that has been stuck in every hairbrush I've ever owned, all over my nice clean hair after the shower, and that's why I could never get my hair to smell better than "neutral".

Why did nobody tell me this ever? Did they also not know or is this just one of those things that everyone expects you to figure out on your own? Am i just stupid as fuck (probably; don't answer that. Or do. I'm not your boss).

So, where do we go from here?

I am going to start soaking and scrubbing my brushes every two weeks. For anyone else not in the know but afraid to speak up, the video said to remove all the hair from your brushes, soak your brushes in a bowl of warm water and a little bit of shampoo or dish soap for a couple minutes, then come back and scrub them with something like an old toothbrush. (This video actually specifically reccommended using a denture cleaning brush). Then once you've scrubbed all the nasty stuff off the brush, you can rinse it, and set it out on a towel to try. Make sure you dry it bristles-down though so it doesn't get water build up (which would honestly undo any cleaning because of possible bacteria and mold growth). A comment left on the video suggested to then turn it over so it can fully air dry. And voila! Perfect brushes.

Also, I got to try my new shampoo today. And since I've been diligently removing the hair from my Wet brush, it never accumulated a shitton of greasy gross hair and other buildup.

And guess what? My hair smells exactly like the shampoo did in my hand. I literally can't stop sniffing it, it actually smells good and not weird or blank. It smells flowery.

Honestly I just feel like a massive dumbass for never putting the pieces together like "huh, maybe I should clean this thing that I use every day?"

I'm also gonna wash my pillowcases rn too because this whole debacle has made me feel like the most disgusting and unhygienic person to ever live.

God am I glad this is over with.

TL;DR I'm a huge idiot and have never cleaned a hairbrush in my entire life - it just never occurred to me that that was even a thing. Accidentally stumbled on this knowledge, bestowed upon me via YouTube, and felt like a caveman discovering fire. Then had the revelation that this is why my hair has been greasy and won't hold the scent of my hair products for my entire life. Have been using a new hairbrush and new shampoo and my clean, fresh hair smells better than it ever has. I will never ever be caught dead with a gross hairbrush ever. Again.

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Smart_Tadpole_7558 on 2026-01-28 01:16:24+00:00.

---

So this fuck-up happened yesterday, and I am still cringing every time I think about it.

I recently started a new job, and I’m still in that phase where I’m trying very hard to be likable, professional, and not say anything weird. I’m usually pretty quiet, but when I do talk, I try to be polite and agreeable. This, unfortunately, was the problem.

During lunch, a few coworkers were talking about their weekends. One coworker mentioned that they spent the entire weekend at home doing nothing but relaxing, watching TV, and ordering food. Everyone else was nodding along and joking about how nice that sounded.

Here’s where I fucked up.

Without thinking, and trying to make light conversation, I laughed and said something along the lines of, “Wow, I’d go crazy if that was my life. I need to be doing something or I feel unproductive.”

The table went quiet.

The coworker I was responding to looked at me and said, very calmly, “That pretty much is my life. I don’t really go out. I like it that way.”

Instant realization. What I meant as a comment about myself came out sounding like a judgment about them. I immediately tried to backpedal, saying I was just talking about my own anxiety and not implying anything negative. But the damage was done.

The rest of lunch was awkward, and since then, that coworker has been noticeably more distant with me. I don’t blame them. I basically implied their lifestyle was something I’d “go crazy” living, which is a really rude thing to say, even unintentionally.

I keep replaying it in my head because all I wanted was to fit in, and instead I managed to insult someone’s personal choices within my first few weeks.

Lesson learned: not every thought needs to be shared, and “relatable” comments can still be hurtful if you don’t think them through.

TL;DR: Tried to make polite small talk at work and accidentally implied my coworker’s quiet lifestyle sounded unbearable. Now I get to live with the cringe and the awkwardness.

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/AliceMorgon on 2026-01-28 00:02:44+00:00.

---

I was nice and snug in bed with the cats. I so nearly didn’t answer it. Why did I answer it? Why?

It is a question I will use to punish myself for the rest of my life.

Anyway, apparently, she’s been out with the girls tonight and yes she has had a few wines or several but she is home now and just wanted to let me know so how are you darling?

She has clearly done her country proud tonight in terms of holding up the oul’ bar, but is not fantastic at holding up the oul’ conversation at this point, however loudly she tries. In the background, I hear my father cursing, presumably en route to the kitchen to make a cup of tea and wait until she shuts up before going back to bed. My mother then launches into a spiel that essentially boils down to “OK, your father’s gone, tell me about your late fiancé’s dick.”

I just kind of blink because I think my brain just short circuited or maybe I misheard the long explanation or something because you know WHY WOULD YOU ASK YOUR DAUGHTER THAT but nope, I checked, that’s exactly what she wanted to know.

And why did she want to know this so much?

She and her friends were giggling about past sexcapades at the wine bar, and it set her thinking. So, she wanted to chat. Since “your father is very small, and I mean VERY small” and “he’s a doctor and he still doesn’t know where anything is” (both of which have been burned into my mind for all eternity) she wanted to compare with someone who had experienced something… the opposite. And knew my late fiancé was extraordinarily tall, at 6ft6in, reasoned he might also have been in possession of extraordinary dick, also knew he was very talented at the guitar, and CALLED ME TO F**KING ASK.

No, mother. I will not discuss my late fiancé’s dick size or sexual performance with you. It’s not my fault you married an asshole with a tiny dick and no idea how to use it. Now go to bed and sleep it off.

TL;DR: Mother phoned requesting to know dick size of late fiancé and his sexual prowess as my father apparently has practically zero dick and no idea how to use it.