Today I Fucked Up

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Sipmoony on 2026-02-25 17:38:33+00:00.

This happened today. For years I’ve been the “strong one” in my family. When my parents divorced, I helped my younger sister, made sure she felt safe, and told her everything would be fine even when I didn’t believe it. When my mom worked two jobs, I tried to keep good grades, helped around the house, and acted like nothing was bothering me. Teachers called me mature. Friends said I was strong. I never really corrected them. I just kept saying I was okay, even when I wasn’t.

Today my mom called asking if I could help my sister again. I’d barely slept, work has been overwhelming, and instead of calmly saying I was exhausted,I snapped. I told her I was tired of always being the responsible one, that nobody ever asked if I was okay, that I felt invisible for years. I didn’t say it calmly. I said it angry and loud, like they had done something cruel on purpose. My mom went quiet and said she thought I wanted to help and that she was proud of how strong I’ve always been. She sounded hurt, not defensive.

Now I feel awful. I waited years to be honest, and when I finally was, I did it in the worst possible way. Instead of opening up properly, I turned it into an argument and made her feel guilty for something I never clearly communicated.

TL;DR: After years of pretending to be the “strong one,” I finally admitted I was overwhelmed — but I did it by blowing up at my mom and hurting her instead of having a real conversation.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Wooden_Jellyfish_642 on 2026-02-24 18:11:03+00:00.

so. this happened a while back and i've never told anyone this story. not my friends, not anyone. but i need to get it off my chest and reddit feels like the right place for that.

i had been seeing this girl for a while. we both knew where things were heading. she suggested we go to her family's sauna for the evening, just the two of us, her parents were away for the weekend. i thought okay this is it. this is finally happening.

i was nervous the whole drive there. like genuinely could not stop my leg from bouncing. she's making small talk and i'm just nodding along barely processing words because my brain is already somewhere else entirely.

we get there, get the sauna going, sit in it for a bit. it's hot. really hot. like uncomfortably hot. sweat is just pouring off me. she looks completely fine somehow. i look like i just ran a marathon in a winter jacket.

then the moment comes. she gives me that look. we move to the little room next to the sauna.

and my body just. didn't show up.

like i sent the invitation, my body looked at it, and just decided not to come. first time nerves plus the heat plus the anticipation of like two weeks just absolutely destroyed me from the inside. there was nothing i could do. i just sat there hoping if i waited long enough something would change.

it did not change.

she was actually really nice about it which somehow made it worse?? like if she laughed i could have laughed too but she was just being sweet and understanding and i wanted to disappear through the floor.

i mumbled something about the heat and she said it was fine and we just sat there for a bit and then i said i should probably get going and left.

drove home in silence. sat in my car outside my apartment for like twenty minutes just staring at nothing.

never spoke about it. saw her a few more times after that but it was never the same. eventually just stopped texting.

to this day i think about that sauna more than i should

TL;DR: planned my first time in a sauna, was so nervous and overheated that my body completely refused to cooperate, she was nice about it which made everything worse, drove home alone and sat in my car for twenty minutes staring at nothing

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/celestially_lunar on 2026-02-25 03:54:32+00:00.

Hello Reddit.

It is currently 4am and I am finally no longer wanting to bang my head into a wall, however I am absolutely peeved and slightly traumatized lol

Tonight I fell asleep watching a youtube video on my ancient Acer gaming laptop and it died on me during the night. When I woke up, I realized I was hearing a low buzzing sound. It‘s a subtle but persistent static that drives you crazy because it just. doesn't. stop. I don‘t know how else to describe, it's just a kind of persisent low staticky buzzing.

The funny thing is I also experienced that yesterday, it went on for hours. So I‘m here thinking that it may be my laptop's fault, especially as I had a cider incident a couple weeks prior where I spilled some on it. I was concerned the sugar may have been eroding some internal processors or whatever; I‘m only half competent with electronics.

However, my laptop was completely out of charge. And that stumped me. How is there persistent electric/static noise when my laptop is dead? Shouldn't there be no electricity at all?

I start flipping my laptop, charging it, turning it on and off. In the 4am silence the constant static noise is driving me crazy and so incredibly loud in my ears I start to get upset. But no matter what I do, no matter how many times I turn it on and off it doesn't stop!!!

Finally I lose it, the buzz is giving me sensory overload, so I call my poor dad in my home country as he is an IT guy (I‘m in my early twenties, yes I run to my parents at the slightest inconvenience). Had to wake the poor guy up at 4am in the morning. At this point I am losing my mind from the constant buzzing that is all-consuming to my ears in the silence of my tiny dorm room and all I want is for it to stop, I‘m just crying. I also am afraid that it may be a critical issue of the battery or whatever and that it'll explode on me.

My dad reassures me and tells me to bring it to the shop in the morning. Cool. I finally do what I should have done much earlier. I put my laptop into my ensuite bathroom and close the door. The static… doesn't stop and it still comes from my desk. So… it isn't my laptop?

Turns out that I had placed my knitting bag on my "high tech" lamp in my dorm room, which has a magsafe phone charging pad. The contact between my metal knitting needles and the charging pad was what was causing the static noise, not my laptop. As soon as I took the bag away, the noise stopped. I made the same mistake yesterday too where after knitting to not overcrowd my already cluttered desk I put it really close/half on the lamp to make space.

Now I have peace and my expensive laptop is not broken. But I am haunted incessantly by that stupid static sound and though there is silence now, my brain is replicating the incessant static buzz in my ears and I am residually traumatized.

TLDR; I kept hearing a persistent static-buzzing sound in my silent room that was driving me crazy. Thought it was my laptop but my its battery was dead. It was my metal knitting needles coming in contact with my desk lamp's magsafe charger, creating a current because I put my knitting bag on it. I have my silence back at last, but the buzzing still haunts my mind.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Omnipresent_User on 2026-02-24 23:10:27+00:00.

Back when I was in 6th grade, me, my classmates, and pretty much every other six grader went to a science camp. When everyone got there, everyone would be assigned “cabins” (which were more like regular squared one story buildings) and would be given bunk beds to leave their belongings near and sleep on. 

The trip went pretty smoothly, we did activities, I had fun, all was going pretty well. The problem was, I would *ALWAYS* carry a tall thermos full of water with me at all times, which I would drink throughout the day, every day of the week of science camp, which eventually backfired. Sometime during the week (I don’t remember the day), it was nighttime and all activities were finished, so it was time for everyone to go to sleep and I was physically exhausted. After I got into my pajamas, I was *DONE* for the night; I didn’t wanna do anything else. Issue was, just like every other day, I was chugging water for the majority of it. Despite that, I decided to lay down and go to sleep anyways, being too tired to go to the bathroom that was across the hall. BIG MISTAKE! A few hours later, I would wake up in the middle of the night (or very early morning, like 3 AM or so) and was FREEZING. My entire body was wet and shivering, so I eventually got out of the blankets and investigated why. And that’s when I discovered at 11 years old I had an accident in not just a bed that wasn’t mine, but a BUNK bed. The person I was bunking with was still asleep and so was everyone else around me, so I quietly opened my backpack, secretly changed into some pajamas (minus my undies), and then…plopped by wet clothes back into my backpack because I wanted to hide the evidence. 

Then I took some spare underwear, waddled to the bathroom, hid myself into a stall with the door locked, changed my underwear, sat down and “emptied everything that was left in the tank”, but I was so loud when doing so that the camp councilor that was assigned to our cabin was woken up, which made my situation all the more nerve wracking. I simply apologized for being loud when he was outside my stall investigating, he was understanding, and we both simply went back to bed. I never told ANYONE about it when I woke up and just went about my day, hoping nobody could smell urine in the mattress. 

Now that I think about, I’m pretty sure that was the night before we all went home, so that’s probably how I was able to get away with it, but still, that didn’t make it any less embarrassing for 11 year old me, especially since it was done on a bunk bed, and I feel bad for any adult who may have had to deal with cleaning the mattress if the mess was ever discovered. 

TL;DR: I accidentally peed on a bunk bed when I was in 6 grade science camp because I drank to much water and didn’t go to the bathroom before sleeping, then didn’t tell anyone about my accident afterwards…

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/BabyGiraffe777 on 2026-02-25 03:37:10+00:00.

TLDR: I listen to people talk to fall asleep and now I fall asleep at work and while I drive.

I have ADD so my brain doesn’t like to shut down or even slow down in the evening. It lead to me being a night owl as a kid. I have fond memories of walking around my house as a child, reading late into the night and hanging out in my parents room and watch them sleep. This went well into my teenage years until I discovered ASMR. It’s those ladies that whisper in your headphones and it makes you feel calm. I used to listen to that to fall asleep, but I always ran into the issue of the videos being too quiet, or too short. I needed constant talking and for the entire duration of my sleep. I noticed that if I sleep without people talking, I have very vivid and mostly terrifying dreams. So vivid I’m relieved when I wake up. One night, I’m not sure why, I played a smosh games video and I slept great. Maybe it’s because I would naturally doze off when I would watch them on the weekends. It has now evolved to the point I need smosh games to play at night, or else I cannot get good sleep. It’s mainly the 6 hour fnaf marathon, but I’ve branched out to the other giant marathon videos.

Here is my issue now: I think I pavloved myself into falling asleep during any long duration of talking. I sit in conferences and meetings for my job and I find myself battling to stay awake. No amount of coffee or pinching my wrist can make me keep my eyes open. I shut them every now and then and work my way back to opening my eyes. It’s very frustrating and it takes me away from learning or being able to respond appropriately. I go cross eyed from trying to keep my eyes open. This also happens when I’m driving. I have to punch my leg to keep myself awake. I’ve had a few close calls. Did I Pavlov myself? Or is this some underlying medical issue?

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/lostmymarbles1177 on 2026-02-24 17:17:57+00:00.

so, I recently have been struggling with shitty broken windshield wipers and during the last storm almost crashed because of poor visibility.

We were due for some snow so I went to Auto Zone and shelled out a small fortune for top of the line wipers. I installed them myself with a little help from google and proudly drove off.

The wipers had bright yellow blades which I thought was odd but since they were the heavy duty kind, I just shrugged it off and assumed that they were a more durable kind of rubber.

I was very excited to try them out when the snow came and when the moment came where they were needed, I flicked them on anticipating a spotless windshield.

Well, they… Sucked. Like, they smeared ice all over the windshield and basically did nothing.

I was pissed but thought maybe they just needed to be broken in or that I installed them wrong. Today, after I dug out my car and started driving, I noticed that one of the yellow wiper blades was hanging off. Already. This was the last straw and I was pissed. No one was going to swindle me with defective windshield wipers.

I put on my Karen haircut and after rehearsing my speech a few times, I marched back into Auto Zone and demanded a refund.

The guy asked if he could see them and when he looked he started smirking. He reached over, pulled off what I thought were the yellow blades and handed them to me. They were plastic covers for the actual blades. The real blades actually worked great.

I was so embarrassed that I couldn’t speak and just nodded and drove home.

TL;DR I demanded a refund for perfectly good windshield wipers because I did not know I had to take the yellow blade covers off.

Edit: a word.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Chicken_Of_The_Year on 2026-02-24 15:57:47+00:00.

This was some years ago when I was 17. I had a summer job in an amusement park in Norway. That day I was in charge of the "log flume"/ "water ride". It had huge fake logs that people sit inside, they float around and at the end there is a huge drop down a fake mountain. It results in a huge splash at the end.

It was my favorite attraction to work at. Spesially at hot and sunny summer days. As a teen I enjoyed the never ending supply of the happy wet t-skirt girls getting out of the logs.

Anyway. This day at 18:00 we closed. My job was to check that the ride was empty, clean up, and shut down everything before I got home.

Finally at 18:00. I could stop the line of people and start the shut down prosess. I was in a hurry because I was going to a party together with some of my colleagues and two of the girls i met that day.

So I start turning everything off. Pumps off. Conveyor off. The whole ride goes silent. Water still, no movement. Good. I grab my backpack and start walking away to get home.

Then for some reason I turn around for one last look.

In the distance I see one single log:

It is completely still. Parked right at the very top of the big vertical drop, tipping on the edge. Normally the water would push it over. But since I shut everything off, there was no current to move it. So it just stayed there. Inside is a full family. Mom, dad, two kids. They are waving at me. Not happy waving. More like, "hello?? we are still here!?" waving.

I just stood there for two seconds thinking: this is how I accidentally create international news.

I sprint back, turn everything on again, trying to act calm. The log finally tips over and they go down the waterfall like nothing happened. The dad gives me a thumbs up at the bottom. He has no idea how close he was to spending the whole night in a log on top of a fake mountain..

TL;dr: Closed the log flume too fast to go to a party and accidentally left a family stuck at the top of the waterfall.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/LiquidLotion on 2026-02-24 05:30:35+00:00.

Went home with a girl. Said she had a pool. Got to her place. She got naked. Jumped in the pool. Decided to get naked too, even though I knew I couldn't swim. Told myself I was tall enough to stand in the pool and keep my head above water. Girl had no idea I was literally about to risk my life for pussy. Instead of diving in, I walked in. Slow and steady. Panicked as soon as the girl splashed me in the face before disappearing underwater and suddenly reappearing behind me for a surprise piggyback ride. Panic turned into fighting for my fucking life as I was no longer standing in the pool, but actually sinking. Girl thought I was playing so she clung to my back for as long as possible.

Pushed her off of me and yelled for help. Girl finally realised I was drowning for real and helped me out of the pool. Regained my composure after catching my breath. Girl said I was fucking stupid for toying with my life like that. Couldn't argue. All the lights in her house suddenly switched on. Girl grabbed the closest shirt and covered her naked body. A confused man emerged from the house and asked what the fuck was going on. Girl said everything was fine and instructed the man to please go back inside. Dude got upset and yelled at the girl for pulling the same shit every fucking time the two of them travel.

Girl yelled back at the man and said he was her fucking coach, not her fucking father. Dude nodded in the most pissed off way imaginable and said she could train on her own the next morning. Girl instantly said sorry and promised to go to bed immediately if he trained her tomorrow. Dude disappeared without responding. Girl basically chased me away after that. Needless to say, weird night.

Tl:dr Went skinny dipping with a girl, knowing I couldn't swim, and almost died to get my dick wet.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Quick-Bat-6128 on 2026-02-24 02:30:05+00:00.

I am a first year 8th grade English teacher. All year, I have been grading students essays and have been telling them, “you cannot begin a sentence with because”. I swear I have been told this for many years, to not start a sentence with because. However, recently I have started teaching sentence types. We get to complex sentences- and subordinating conjunctions show up. It turns out, it is perfectly acceptable to begin a sentence with “because”, as long as the dependent clause is followed by a comma and an independent clause. I taught this fine, and only one student called me out on my mistake. Oops! Us teachers mess up too!! Just thought this was kind of funny- I apologized for my mistake and made sure students learned how to use sentences beginning with “because”.

TL;DR: Because my mind was somehow warped many years ago, I incorrectly taught students the use of beginning a sentence with “because”.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/dominantleather on 2026-02-22 21:41:57+00:00.

so last night i randomly got hit with that dangerous 2am motivation. you know the one where suddenly you want to fix your entire life. instead of sleeping like a normal person i decided it was the perfect time to reorganize my room.

i started moving furniture around quietly at first but then i thought why not deep clean too. i pulled my desk out which i have not moved in years and found dust cables and things i forgot i owned. while trying to plug everything back in i somehow unplugged my wifi router without realizing it. i also moved my bed slightly too close to the wall and knocked over a glass of water that soaked into the carpet.

i finally went to sleep around 4am feeling proud of myself. this morning i woke up late for work because my phone did not charge properly since i messed with the cables. no alarm. i was late. also the wifi was down so i could not even send a quick message explaining. and now my room looks worse than before because i left half of it unfinished.

all because i decided 2am was the perfect time to become a new person.

tl;dr got late night motivation to reorganize my room unplugged important stuff spilled water overslept and made everything worse

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/I_dont_know_ahhhhh on 2026-02-23 21:00:41+00:00.

So I (F23) my coworker (F30), lets call her Barbara, so Barbara and I were talking during a slow moment at work. We were just talking about life and relationship. And at one point the topic of kids came up. I told her that I have never wanted kids. Barba started going on a tangent that her kids are the best thing that has happened to her and that I should reconsider, because I will never know true love until I have kids. I kindly told her that I'm pretty firm in my decision to not have kids . Then Barbara told me I was disappointing the Lord by not having kids, and I'm not considered a real woman if I don't have kids. At this point I was pretty annoyed and I just told her that I'm infertile, and it's just easier to say that I don't want kids then tell everyone under the sun that I medically can't have kids. Now I feel bad for snapping at her but at the same time I don't because she kept pushing and pushing.

TL;DR: I snapped at a coworker telling her that I'm infertile after she told me I don't count as a real woman if I don't have kids, now I kinda feel bad for snapping.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/SimpleAd351 on 2026-02-23 18:03:26+00:00.

So this happened a few months ago and I still think about it at 3am sometimes.

I had been seeing this girl for a few weeks. Nothing official yet but there was definitely something there. We'd been texting constantly, hanging out, doing that thing where you sit closer and closer each time until you're basically on top of each other.

So she invites me over to her place to watch a movie. Classic. I know what this means. Or at least I thought I did.

We're on the couch, movie is on, neither of us is actually watching the movie. We're just talking and laughing and she keeps looking at me in that way. You know the way. The way that says something is about to happen.

At some point there's this pause in the conversation. One of those loaded silences. She turns to face me, eyes soft, lips slightly parted, leaning in just a little.

I think: this is it. This is the moment. I have read every single signal correctly and I am about to have my rom-com moment.

I lean in.

She reaches past me.

Grabs the bag of chips that was sitting on the couch cushion behind my head.

I am now six inches from her face with my eyes half closed and absolutely nowhere to go.

She looks at me. I look at her. She looks at the chips. I look at the chips.

She offers me some chips.

I take some chips.

And this is where the real fuckup begins. After that moment I completely shut down. Every time it seemed like there was another good moment - I remembered the chips and backed off. What if I'm misreading it again? What if she just wants some water? What if there's something else behind my head that she needs?

We sat through the entire movie. She walked me to the door. We stood there awkwardly for a moment. I said "okay well see you around" and left.

No kiss. The whole evening. Because of a bag of chips.

I went home that night and just stared at the ceiling.

TL;DR: Leaned in for a kiss, she reached past me for a bag of chips, got so spooked that I spent the rest of the evening frozen like a statue and went home with nothing. The chips won.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/HunterxhunterFan on 2026-02-23 02:27:21+00:00.

Hey Everyone - Girls, Guys, Theys & Gays

I’m still alive.

It has been 5 years since my original post where I informed you all that I had ignored blood in my stool and later found out I had colon cancer.

Here’s the reference link: https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/l21s75/tifu_dismissing_bright_red_blood_in_my_stool_for/

Before I get started with my life update, I would like to offer a genuine apology to those that had messaged me after my first post asking for an update/wishing me well. 

This experience was traumatizing. 

The farther I got from my diagnosis date and being NED (no evidence of disease), the less I wanted to relive the trauma of being diagnosed. Please understand that I was protecting myself from anxiety/panic attacks 

For those still reading, here’s my life-update below:  

1. Cancer: Am I cured?

According to my Oncologist, YES. I was diagnosed with Stage 3a - adenocarcinoma of sigmoid colon, signet ring cell. I hope I remain cancer free for the rest of my life and hope that I don’t need to make a very awkward “Hey guys, it’s back” post. 

1. What’s my current health look like? I’m 6’1 and roughly 285lbs.

I’ve gained weight… about 60-70lbs and my liver is fatty. I’m actively losing weight at this time but with the help of the weight loss medication (infamous OZEMPIC). 

1. Relationship: I am officially married as of Jan. 18th 2026. We have been together for 3-years and agreed to marry earlier if my cancer returned.

The partner I was with when I was diagnosed is no longer my partner. We broke up about 1 year after my diagnosis. To be honest, she took very good care of me when I needed her the most. I’ll always appreciate her for that.

1. Mental Health: I’ve always had anxiety and depression. I think it’s about the same, maybe even somewhat improved since pre-diagnosis.Two Pros of a cancer diagnosis:
2. I have people in my life I never would have had without this diagnosis. Paige (my cancer mom) and Ben (my cancer dad) have been on speed-dial since I met them in my colon cancer support group 5 years ago.
3. There’s no experience that will make you realize how precious life is than genuinely thinking you will die soon (within the next few years).

Some shout-outs: My wife, who will always be here for me. My Mom, my step-dad and brother who will always be here for me. Paige + Ben who will always be here for me. Tanner and Sarah - Friends that I made in my support group who were taken by cancer. My best friends Amir, Jason, Richard, Jess, Steve, Deb who will always be here for me.

Well, I don’t know what else to add. You can ask any questions and I’ll do my best to answer. I stream on Twitch occasionally so you can definitely ask questions there as well. https://www.twitch.tv/nursedaveith

TL;DR: I dismissed blood in my stool for years thinking it was hemorrhoids. It was an unchecked polyp that grew cancer.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/coolsodapop on 2026-02-23 01:47:11+00:00.

So for context, this is a childhood fuck up, I’m a Pakistani 26 y/o woman today, but I was 10 when this all happened. I was probably the only brown girl in my school so it just made it so much more funnier. Let’s get into the story..

When I was in 5th grade I didn’t just like Hannah Montana, I was a disciple. Everything I owned was branded. I didn't have a personality, I just had a blonde wig and a dream.

One day my cousin from Pakistan comes to visit. I’m sitting there at dinner staring at her and I have a literal epiphany. I thought "Holy crap. She looks EXACTLY like Miley Cyrus." Naturally, being a rational 10 year old, I went to school the next day and dropped the bombshell: "Guys, I’m Miley Cyrus’s cousin."

Predictably everyone called BS. But I was committed. During computer class I pulled the ultimate 2000s power move. I went onto Yahoo Answers, posted the question "Is Miley Cyrus related to *my name*?" and then immediately hopped on another account to answer "Yes, they are actually cousins, blah blah blah." The proof worked. People were losing their minds. I got cocky and told the entire class to come to my apartment after school the next day to meet her.

The panic started to set in. I got home and realized I had no celebrity cousin. I just had my delulu cousin who was also obsessed with fame. I told her "Yo everyone thinks you're Miley, you have to play along." She didn't even hesitate. She was like "Say less. I'm getting the wig."

The next day was a fever dream. The entire school was buzzing. Even the teachers were whispering. Since my apartment backyard basically doubled as the school playground, a massive crowd followed me home. I was sweating through my shirt looking up at my balcony praying for a signal.

Then it happened.

My cousin steps out onto the balcony wearing a neon blonde wig and a full on Hannah Montana costume. She’s waving, blowing kisses, doing the whole pop star routine. Kids were actually screaming. I was like oh fuck yes. I felt like a god. I even let a few VIP friends inside the apartment. My cousin started signing their t-shirts, not even as Miley, she was literally signing her own name, and they were just soaking it up.

But then the vibe shifted. One kid squinted and said "Wait a second… that’s not Hannah Montana." I remember literally elbowing him in the ribs like bro stfu. People realized they were cheering for a girl in a cheap wig and the crowd slowly dispersed.

The twist? A few days later my mom took me to the eye doctor. Turns out I had a massive prescription. I was quite literally legally blind. She looked nothing like Miley. I just needed glasses.

TL;DR: I convinced my entire 5th grade class that my Pakistani cousin was Miley Cyrus, staged a balcony appearance with a blonde wig, and had her sign autographs for VIP fans. A week later I found out I was legally blind and she looked absolutely nothing like her.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/ILikeCrunchyFood on 2026-02-22 21:29:57+00:00.

Obligatory this did not happen today.

I (24F back then and 30F now) come from a really small and rural town of Brazil and always had social phobia. It was manageable while living in there, since I rarely left my house and tried my best when I had to talk to other people.

However, I have come to realize that it is way more complicated to mask social anxiety when you are insecure about your English - which to this day is not the best - and does not know enough about the way people in Canada interact with each other. It was my first month in a foreign country.

Well, it turns out that my husband (boyfriend then) realized that I never owned clothes/shoes/lingerie that really fit me, most of my wardrobe come from hand-me-downs or it was bought by my mom. I have never realized this somehow and kept using shoes that were too small for me or clothes full of holes or really bad quality 2$ bras.

He took me to the mall to buy some stuff and I was instantly anxious, but I gathered all the courage I had inside of me - not much - and tried my best to pretend that my shoulders weren't touching my ears.

Everything was going okay, I thought the worst of it was over and that was one less purchase to make: the bra. I didn't know that you had numbers and letters to measure bras, back in Brazil I just chose between P, M and L and it also depended on the bra format/brand.

After arriving in a random lingerie place, a lady approached me and asked if I was in search of anything in particular. I said that I really needed some new bras and, when she asked for my size, I answered that I didn't know since it depends on the bra. She looked at me quizzically and went on to explain the numbers and letters. I had no clue. And here it comes the fuck up.

She said "No problem! I can measure you.", but I was so busy feeling anxious that I didn't hear the second part and she turned around immediately and turned back holding a measuring tape. A measuring tape that I didn't see she was holding.

The lady got close to me and put the tape around my torso and I legit though that she was trying to hug me and, since I didn't know enough about people in Canada, I hugged her back................ A good calorous Brazilian hug.

I felt her body stiff and try to leave the hug, I opened my arms and let her go and it was then that I saw the tape around myself. I could have died at that moment. I still think about it before sleep.

Apparently I wasn't mortified enough, because I saw my husband around and thought he watched that awful interaction and, since I had 1 brain cell left, said: "I'm sorry, I thought that you were hugging me. But look, we are best friends now!" and hugged her again by the waist with one arm.

She. Did. Not. Go. With. It.

She laughed awkwardly with a 'ha-ha' and went back into measuring me.

I bought whatever was the first bra she gave me.

I didn't even check if it fit me or not.

That was awful. Turns out my husband was too busy trying to not look out of place in a woman's lingerie store and managed to miss that entire interaction.

I don't ever want to talk to people ever again.

All I can think of is her bending her knees for being taller than me and being stuck in that hug. Girl, I'm so sorry.

It wasn't a huge fuck up in the grand scheme of things, but I have no one to tell this to and needed it out of my chest. And to non Canadians: Canadian people don't hug other people out of nowhere, just in case you wanted to know. It's not their culture, but poutine is good post-shame meal.

TL;DR: I hugged the lingerie seller lady while she measured me because I didn't see the measuring tape and thought that was a her hugging me out of nowhere.

Sorry for any orthographic mistakes.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/NekoSage22 on 2026-02-22 13:18:27+00:00.

This wasn't actually today because this entire nightmare has been going on since September of 2025 (and isn't even over yet!) I'm sorry about the format, I figured using dates would make it easier to follow along.

The ending of August and beginning of September I kept seeing a give away for a free photo shoot with enchanted fairies. Our daughter's 2nd birthday was coming up in October so I thought it would be really special to get her photos taken. So I entered the give away. 

September 6th 2025, I got an email saying I won the give away! A free photo session and a free 10×8 picture of our daughter! I was super exited and booked the session.

October 4th 2025, we had the best time getting our daughter's photos taken. The photographer was a wonderful lady with a very beautiful studio. The costume provided was gorgeous and fit my toddler well. The photography part of the experience was worth the hour drive.

October 29th 2025, our scheduled zoom meeting to see how the photos turned out and pick out our free one. At the time we were out of state visiting my parents for my toddler's birthday. During the zoom meeting, we find out about the different photo packages offered. The cheapest was 8 digital pictures and a story book for THREE THOUSAND DOLLARS. The most expensive package was over ten thousand. My husband and I would never be able to afford something like that so my dad offered to get the smaller package as a gift (I'm so greatful for that) Now keep in mind we can only pick 8 pictures out of dozens that were taken. The person in the zoom call was rushing us and kept bouncing around the pictures. The entire thing was obviously designed to make you panic and spend more money. And the photos shown aren't even the final pictures, we were seeing them pre-edited without all the sparkles and fairies they add. We picked out the 8 best pictures, my dad paid, and I thanked him profusely. 

November 2nd 2025, I got an email saying their art department is working on our photos. It should only take 6-8 weeks to receive the final results. 

January 9th 2026, I send my first email checking in. I was super nice, I understand the holidays can make that time of year crazy for everyone but it was almost 10 weeks since I heard anything and I was concerned since I was told it would only take 6-8 weeks.

Immediately I got an email back saying their warehouse had an issue and they asked to confirm sime details like my address. So I responded the same day and confirmed what I needed to. 

January 10th 2026, I get another email saying their "art team" is working on my order (weird I thought it was done but okay) 

January 18th 2026, I email again asking for an ETA since none of the emails after my inquiry on the 9th gave any time frame. 

January 19th 2026, I got an email saying the storybook was being assembled and I would get an email updating me on shipping when it was available. I emailed back on the same day asking when I would get my digital copies.

January 20th 2026, I was told my digital copies would not come until the Friday AFTER the physical items arrived. 

Now, keep in mind I have been extremely nice to them this entire time, saying my please and thank yous, giving them space and time to do their jobs. I understand holidays can be a messy time of year, I've worked customer service jobs for the last 10 years. But this has now started to test my patience. 

February 6th 2026, I emailed politely asking if I should just have my dad do a charge back on his card since this is clearly a scam. 

Suddenly they are emailing back within minutes and set up another zoom meeting with one of their customer service representatives. 

February 11th 2026, my dad and I hop onto zoom for this meeting. We were fed every excuse in the book from their rep and honestly I was pretty rude durring the entire thing because it's now week 13 and I've waited almost double for these pictures. My dad was much nicer and played good cop even though he's also pretty mad. The rep offered us a second story book for free as compensation, so we said yes. 

February 13th 2026, I get another email saying the art team is working hard on our order. At this point I have my dad CC into every email since it was his money spent on this entire mess.

February 17th 2026, I get an email with shipping information and a link to my daughter's photos. Holy cow! The photos are actually real! And they came out great. Now for the book...

February 20th 2026, almost 16 weeks after the first email saying they were working on my order, I got the story book. And let me tell you what an absolute TRAIN WRECK that book is. Keep in mind this is $3,000. 

1. The pages are all wavy like it got dunked in water and then dried off.
2. The cover is falling off the pages, the entire thing isn't even glued on, it's just suck together like a sticker
3. The laminate isn't even properly adhered on the cover. It's already lifting on the spine and had big bubbles I had to pop with a needle and press back down
4. The font picked and color of the font is completely illegible on the patterned paper they have it printed on.
5. The book was clearly written by an AI. The storyline makes zero sense, page one starts out with a typical fairytale opening with a normal rhyming scheme, then the next page a whole new intro starts with no rhyimg at all. The story has my daughter walk into a forest to find a unicorn that grants wishes and then the next page she randomly falls down a hill. The worst part, the book ends with her realizing friends were a real magic all along?? Literally zero friends or anything is mentioned in the book until that point.
6. The book is covered in AI trash details. Like a fake lock printed on the front. The "lock" is a DOOR HINGE with a chain hanging off a random screw on the hinge and a lock hanging off of the chain. It's super obvious AI did all the work.

February 20th 2026, my dad writes an email calmly laying out all of our issues with the book with pictures to prove it's poor quality. He got an email back saying they are going to talk to their art team and get back to us on the 24th. 

I don't even post photos of my child online and this company took her images and threw them into an AI generator without my consent. I don't know what to do at this point. I feel scammed and violated. I already received the shipping information for a second book but I don't want it if it's more AI trash. Should my dad do a charge back on his card? Was this just a really expensive lesson? I feel so awful he spent that much money on something I'm pretty sure was just a scam. We technically got a product but it's not what was advertised. This storybook is supposed to last for 100 years and it's falling apart after one weekend. I just want to cry. 

TLDR; I think I got scammed by some fairies and they used AI to make a book using my 2 y/o daughter's face.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Amazing-Resource9878 on 2026-02-22 16:51:45+00:00.

So this happened a month ago. My friends physically cringe when I tell this story in person so I'm putting it on the internet instead.

Met Elena through mutual friends. She's an interior designer, travels, reads books, has opinions about wine. I eat pasta three times a week and consider that a personality.

My friend gave me advice: "Be a little mysterious. Don't reveal everything at once. Women love mystery."

I, a man with zero mysteries and whose most interesting hobby is watching documentaries about bridge construction, decided this was excellent advice.

We agreed to meet outside a café at 7. I arrived at 6:50 - normal. But then I thought: mysterious people don't stand by the entrance like a bouncer. Mysterious people appear.

So I decided to wait around the corner and emerge when she texted.

Elena texted at 7:01: "I'm here, where are you?"

I started walking out from around the corner.

And at that exact moment a woman runs out of the building opposite and screams across the entire street: "HE'S THERE, AROUND THE CORNER, I SAW HIM!"

Turns out while I was standing around the corner looking "mysterious," the neighbour decided I was casing the building. Called the police. Twice.

I walked out from around the corner directly into two police officers and Elena standing there with her mouth open.

Explained the situation for approximately 15 minutes. One officer was taking notes. The other was trying not to laugh and visibly losing.

The neighbour stood nearby watching me with absolute righteous fury.

Elena said nothing.

Then one officer asked: "So you were just... waiting for a date?"

"Yes."

"Around the corner."

"Yes."

"To be mysterious."

Long pause.

"Yes."

The second officer laughed. Out loud. In uniform. On duty.

We were let go. Neighbour goes home unsatisfied. Elena and I are standing on the sidewalk.

She looks at me and says: "Well. You're definitely mysterious."

We went to the café. I told her about bridge construction documentaries. She listened for 40 minutes and actually asked questions.

Third date on Thursday.

The neighbour still eyes me suspiciously every time I walk past. I nod at her. She does not nod back.

I hope the officer who laughed is doing well.

TLDR: Tried to be mysterious, stood around a corner for 10 minutes, ended up in a police report, somehow got a third date. Bridge documentaries saved the evening. The neighbour will never forgive me.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/NoSexInSpace on 2026-02-22 06:37:12+00:00.

I offered to drive my gf to work the other day because her car was getting serviced. She's a teacher. Her students are in middle school. As soon as my gf and I stopped in front of the school, one of her students, a scrawny little boy, appeared on the passenger side of my car out of nowhere. He was over the moon to see my gf, but froze when he locked eyes with me. My gf reminded him to be polite and say hello. The little boy said hello and asked me if I was miss so and so's brother. I waved at him and said miss so and so was my gf. Another boy approached my car at that moment. First boy informed second boy that I'm the bf. Both boys laughed for some reason. My gf instructed the two boys to create enough distance between them and the car so that she could open the passenger door and get out.

First boy saw an opportunity and opened the door for my gf. She thanked him for being a gentleman while exiting my car. First boy closed the door behind my gf and said his dad used to do that for his mom, but then his dad stopped because he's gay now. I automatically laughed because of how casually he shared that information. First boy instantly took offence to my reaction and said he was gonna tell his dad I laughed. My gf looked at me like she was on the verge of laughing too, but instead of losing her composure like I did, she encouraged me to say I'm sorry. I said I was sorry for laughing and added that I actually liked gay people. Second boy burst out laughing and asked how could I like gay people AND like my gf. I said I didn't like gay people like I liked my gf. I attempted to explain the difference, but first boy interrupted me and said his dad would like me too.

I looked at my gf for help, but she looked back at me like "welcome to my world." More kids from the same class appeared at that moment. Another boy and one girl. The girl hugged my gf and distracted her from the madness I was in the middle of. The third boy approached my side of the car and asked me if I knew how to spell the word "gargantuan." I said no because I could tell he wanted to spell the word himself. He spelled the following: B... I... T... C... H. First boy called out the third boy for failing to spell "gargantuan", which prompted third boy to point out that he never said he was gonna spell "gargantuan." Second boy finally connected the dots and suddenly shouted "BITCH!" My gf intervened and warned the 3 boys to watch their language before instructing all of them to join the other students. As soon as my gf and I were alone again, she kissed me goodbye and said she was gonna use an Uber to get home because her students were gonna eat me alive.

Tl:dr Dropped my gf at work and got ambushed by her unhinged middle school students.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/AnAttackCorgi on 2026-02-22 04:16:31+00:00.

My (M 33) dad recently fell and required surgery. Being in his mid 80s, healing has been a serious recovery process for him, and he’s been in a full-time rehab centre for a month.

His roommate, T (M 40-something) has been in the rehab facility for a year and a half after suffering from a stroke. Throughout my dad’s whirlwind injury and healthcare admin process, T has been nothing short of a guardian angel: answering my questions about the facility, how to get requests from health insurance, and helping me out when my dad gets confused. I’ve always checked in on him after checking in on my dad, offered to help in any way possible.

He gave me his number if I need to ask any questions, and I put his name with a wheelchair emoji 🦽 as a note to myself that he’s from the rehab centre.

Well, today I was driving and texting each other. I was using the CarPlay iPhone feature to voice-transcribe the messages. I said his name, which I assumed Siri would transcribe succinctly, and sent the message before Siri fully read the message back to me.

Looking at the messages, Siri’s put the wheelchair 🦽 emoji with his name, and he’s read and replied.

I’m dying inside. He’s fought so hard and suffered so much, the last thing I’d want to do seem like an asshole to this guy who’s helped my dad in so many ways.

Am I overreacting? Should I apologize to him? Should I just move on?

TL;DR: After mistakenly sending a wheelchair emoji to my dad’s stroke-recovering roommate via a Siri transcription error, I’m mortified that I appear to be mocking the man who has been a "guardian angel" to my dad. I’m now struggling with whether to apologize or move on

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/HolidayActual6646 on 2026-02-20 19:12:34+00:00.

This happened yesterday and I am still not over it. Not even a little.

So we have this big all hands company call. Every department, every manager, every senior leader all on the same call. Cameras on. The whole thing. My boss is up presenting the quarterly numbers looking completely comfortable like he does this every day because he does.

He puts up a slide and rattles off a figure and something in my brain just snapped. I was convinced, like staked my entire existence on it convinced, that the number was wrong. I’d seen a different figure somewhere recently and in that moment my brain decided it was the hill I was going to die on.

I don’t know what possessed me. I unmuted myself. On a 200 person call. And said clearly and with full confidence, “I think that figure is actually off, the correct number is X.”

The silence that followed was the kind that has texture. You could feel it.

My boss paused mid sentence, looked at his screen, then very slowly pulled up the source document and shared his screen with the entire company. Walked through it line by line. His number was right. My number wasn’t even in the same atmosphere as correct.

Someone laughed first. Then it kind of rippled. My boss, who is a better person than I deserve, just smiled and said thanks for keeping me sharp and carried on like a complete professional while I sat there with my camera still on because switching it off at that point would have been like fleeing a crime scene on foot.

I had to sit there. Fully visible. For another forty minutes.

I have a one on one with him tomorrow morning and I have not slept. I’ve been replaying those three seconds of silence on a loop since yesterday afternoon and I don’t think it’s stopping anytime soon.

TLDR: Confidently corrected my boss on his numbers in front of 200 colleagues on a company wide call. He was right. I was embarrassingly wrong. Still have to face him tomorrow.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Organic-Grocery9526 on 2026-02-21 19:11:38+00:00.

I work remotely, and my company uses Microsoft Teams. We have a weekly all-hands meeting that is essentially just 45 minutes of managers reading statistics off a PowerPoint. It’s incredibly dry, so I usually just turn my camera off, leave my headset on, and make lunch or fold laundry.

Today, the VP of Sales was in the middle of a very serious, monotone speech about Q1 revenue targets.

While he was talking, my cat jumped up onto my desk. I have a terrible habit of aggressively baby-talking to my cat when no one is around. Without thinking, I leaned into the microphone and said—in the most absurd, high-pitched, cartoonish voice imaginable—"Who is a stinky little garbage goblin? Is it you? Yes it is! You're a stinky little goblin man!"

I heard the VP stop mid-sentence.

There was about five seconds of dead, agonizing silence on the call. Then, the VP cleared his throat and said, "Uh... could whoever is talking to the goblin please mute their microphone?"

My soul left my body. I scrambled to click the mute button, but I was shaking so bad I minimized the window first. By the time I muted it, half the company had typed "💀" or "goblin man" in the meeting chat.

I haven't spoken a word since. I am currently updating my resume because I cannot look these people in the eye ever again.

TL;DR: Didn't realize my mic was unmuted during a boring company-wide meeting and called my cat a "stinky little garbage goblin" in front of the VP of Sales.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/PunkHaz on 2026-02-21 17:52:44+00:00.

TIFU… technically about 20 years ago.

When I was 14, I acquired (read: shoplifted) a long stuffed weiners dog from KB Toys at the mall and named him Ludwig Van Beethoven.

He was filled with little styrofoam pellets, and I didn’t cuddle him — I used him as neck support on top of my pillow, as a neck pillow on the plane, or as a buffer against whatever surface I was sleeping on.

I stopped using him when my future husband moved in. I decided I was too old to sleep with a stuffed animal. Time to grow up.

The consequences weren’t immediate. About three years later, I started waking up with numb arms. Didn’t connect it to anything. Around ten years ago, the neck pain started — a morning kink that eventually turned into all-day shoulder/upper trap pain for the last 3 years.

I’ve tried every pillow type. Memory foam, contoured, soft, firm. Did PT. Had X-rays done. Researched more than I care to admit. Just assumed I was tense, stressed, or aging. New normal, ya know?

Recently I remembered Ludwig. I still have him, so I gave him a try… but he’s too flat and deflated now. So I bought a buckwheat pillow — basically the adult, refillable version of bead-filled support.

One week in: 95% of my shoulder pain is gone.

Apparently I didn’t need a better pillow. I needed good ole Ludwig.

TL;DR: Stopped sleeping with my bead-filled stuffed dachshund when my husband moved in because I wanted to seem like an adult. Spent 20 years with worsening neck and shoulder pain. Bought a buckwheat pillow (adult version of the stuffed dog). Pain is basically gone. Never should have retired the stuffed dog.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Timbuktulous on 2026-02-21 16:10:00+00:00.

I’m best man at a wedding in a week. About a month ago, the groom (we’ll call him Ben) called me to say that the fiancé (we’ll call her Mandy) was worried about me putting Ben in a compromising position with the bachelor party. Both are mid-thirty’s and collectively have 5 kids coming in.

So I call Mandy. Not text, I call her. I give her my word that I won’t put Ben in a compromising position. No strippers. I will ensure he gets home safely. She seemed satisfied.

Ben mentioned wanting to go to a piano bar downtown—about a 30 mile drive. That was mentioned around Mandy. I had asked my wife to be our designated driver so we could all drink.

Then Mandy plans the bachelorette party for the same night, and includes a play downtown. She invited my wife/driver. Ok. I pivot to renting a party bus—the same party bus she is using after the wedding.

She is upset about me using the bus. Thinks it will take away the special fun after the wedding if we use it the week before. Fine. Bride-to-be gets her way. No strippers. No party bus. No visiting any of the places she has planned for after the wedding. I literally asked her for what rules she would like for me to follow.

Then she’s asking me what time we might be at the piano bar. I tell her we aren’t doing that now because I can’t have a bunch of drunk dudes driving 30 miles.

Now she’s pissed (again). She planned the bachelorette party around us being in downtown and was planning to get a hotel room for her and Ben. I’m very ruined it.

Ben calls me to ask me to cancel the bachelor party. I tell him no. It’s none of her business what we do and she should not be making plans about what, when, and where we go. I said if she doesn’t trust me to keep my word, I can’t call her and fix that.

Shortly after that, she sends me a text apologizing, asks me to not cancel the party, do what we want, just make sure Ben gets home safe.

The day arrives. I pick up Ben for lunch so we can have alone time and catch up (I now live out of town). We meet the rest of the dudes at Twin Peaks at 5 (if not familiar, they have waitresses in bikinis). At 7 we go axe throwing. At 8:45, my wife texts me that Mandy is pissed that we went to Twin Peaks. She’s blowing up Ben’s phone too. Ben also tells me. My wife tells Mandy it was her (my wife’s) idea.

The girls come back from downtown. Most of them, including my wife, came to join us at our bar for late night. We had fun. I take Ben home around 12:30. Mandy’s Expedition was parked out front and her car was gone. As was she.

Ben texted me that Mandy stayed out all night and turned off location services on her phone. I tell Ben (who did not even ogle at the sexy waitresses) did nothing wrong I offered to apologize if it made his life easier. Now he’s talking about calling off the wedding b/c Mandy has issues like this and has broken his trust with staying out all night with location services off.

So, does taking Ben to Twin Peaks violate the “no strippers, no tempting Ben to be unfaithful”? Did I FU?

TL;DR. Fiancé threw a gasket that we went to Twin Peaks during the bachelor party. Turned off phone and didn’t come home that night. Groom thinking of calling off the wedding.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Adventurous-Dig-6890 on 2026-02-19 23:55:24+00:00.

This did not happen today, but about eight years ago. My ankle still remembers it vividly.

When I was a kid, I somehow ended up with a tiny blue gel pen somewhat heart shaped “prison tattoo.” Chaotic childhood, we’ll leave it at that. It mostly faded over the years, but a faint blue shadow stuck around into adulthood unfortunately.

At 22, I decided I was absolutely done with it. Instead of consulting a professional like a rational adult, I did what many confident yet deeply misguided people do. I turned to the omnipresent oracle of our time: The Great “Google”!

One suggestion said to take a damp cloth, dip it in table salt, and rub the area until the top layer of skin comes off. Repeat until the tattoo disappears. To the troll who posted this advice… touché Sir (or Madame), you win!

I wish I could say I read that and thought, “That sounds medically questionable.” Needless to say I did not.

I committed. Oh boy did I commit (it looked like I had committed a crime)… My ankle was inflamed and burning like none other.

I rubbed for twenty straight minutes. The top layer of skin did in fact come off. Instead of stopping, I continued because my brain apparently believed I was refinishing hardwood floors.

A crater appeared and the ink did not disappear.

Over the next several years I tried scar creams and eventually even laser treatments to fix what I had done. Nearly eight years later you can still faintly see where the blue ink used to be. Thankfully the scar is minimal now, but it took far more effort to fix my mistake than it would have taken to simply leave it alone (or get it removed professionally)

Moral of the story: do not perform DIY dermatology with table salt. And definitely do not keep rubbing after you have clearly made things worse.

TL;DR: Tried to remove a faint old tattoo using internet advice involving salt and friction. Removed skin instead of ink. Spent years fixing the damage.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/DudeWheresMyCuteCar on 2026-02-21 05:37:32+00:00.

Original post.

A few people who were at the wedding decided to reach out to me afterwards. I did a little break down.

Random person 1:

This guy managed to find me on IG. He introduced himself as a friend of the groom and said he was gonna make me piss myself if he ever saw me anywhere near his friend or his friend's wife again.

Fellow single friend I made:

Dude's dad owns an umbrella business or whatever and he's been trying to sell me umbrellas, even though at the wedding he joked about their umbrellas being poor quality and absolutely not worth buying. Apparently, he was drunk when he made that joke and now he's spamming me.

My ex's ex:

One of my ex's exes DM'd me on IG and wanted to know if I really peed on the girl we both dated. I said I did, consensually. Based on his follow up questions, I could tell he wanted me to provide more details and for me to be as descriptive as possible, which made me feel like he might be getting off or just taking the piss (pun intended). Either way, I tapped out of that awkward Q&A as soon as he asked for my number so that he could create a group chat with all the other exes from the wedding. He never said it in so many words, but it was implied that he wanted the others to share their intimate experiences too, which was fucking weird.

Random person 2:

This person never identified themselves or bothered to at least send me a DM, but their IG profile showed their ID. I still didn't know who they were, but their pronouns were they/them, which I'm only mentioning because I'm using said pronouns to show more respect to them than they showed to me. They targeted the comment section in my last IG post and randomly replied to people who commented by telling them that I peed on their best friend who just got married. I blocked them, disabled my comments, and made my account private, but the damaged was done. Friends, family and coworkers who managed to read the messages sent to them before I disabled the comments, contacted me to find out if I actually peed on another person. I was honest about what happened, but only with the people I considered close.

The husband:

I almost didn't answer when I noticed an unknown number calling me, but I did end up answering the call and realised it was my ex's husband. He said I was the first of 4 exes he was calling with an apology on behalf of his wife. He wanted me to understand that he was travelling for work during most of the wedding planning, so he apparently had minimal involvement, which actually suited him because his wife made him feel like she had everything under control. He joked about her trying to gaslight him into believing she informed him about her exes beforehand, but he remembered no such conversation. He made it sound like it was something funny because he never expected us to actually show up, even though we had to confirm we were coming.

The longer I listened to him, the clearer it became that he was gaming while talking to me. As a gamer myself, I automatically recognised the mechanical sound of those Dead By Daylight generators in the background. Dude would repeatedly pause mid sentence to do whatever he needed to do in the game and then forget the last thing he said. I eventually asked if it was a bad time, but he was like, "I'm on my honeymoon, bro. It's all guuuud." I said I was sorry if my presence at the wedding made anyone uncomfortable. The husband said he appreciated my apology and playfully or not playfully encouraged me to avoid going to weddings of people I've peen on. I said I learned my lesson.

The husband literally said nothing for like 5 seconds and then asked "what lesson" like he no longer had any idea what we were talking about. That was it for me. I was done having a conversation with someone whose attention was obviously elsewhere, so I said I had to go. The husband thanked me for calling him, even though he was the one who called me, but I didn't care enough to correct him. I just said goodbye.

All of the above happened during the week. Thankfully, it's been radio silence since Thursday, with the exception of the umbrella dude, so hopefully that means everyone else has moved on.

Tl:dr People from the wedding attacked me on social media for peeing on the bride.