Today I Fucked Up

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Hungry_Pup on 2025-10-20 22:06:16+00:00.

This was a long time ago. I was in kindergarten, so I'm 5. This was a different time. Cell phones didn't exist. When class is over, the kids are on their own. There's no supervision.

School just let out and I'm outside waiting for my mom. It's gloomy out and looks like it'll rain any minute.

I guess my parents never had that conversation with me about stranger danger and not going with people I don't know. This lady walks by me and goes "Hey! I know your mom." I didn't recognize her, but she's like it's cold out, it might rain, you should wait at my house. Very insistent, so I end up going with her.

She didn't live far from the school. She dropped me off, gave me a snack and then went back out.

My mom had gotten to the school and was starting to panic because she couldn't find me, but then this lady showed up and took my mom to her house.

I was lucky because she actually knew my mom. I could have just let myself get kidnapped. It's weird though because it's been decades since then and I still have no idea who that lady was.

TL:DR: Followed a stranger to her house. Could have been kidnapped.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/ContributionNo2796 on 2025-10-20 05:41:19+00:00.

My whole family has gotten sick over the last two weeks and i am the last to catch and recover from it. One of those illnesses that makes you keep tissues always at the ready. So after a couple days of wiping my nose it starts getting really chapped. My lips dont feel great either. So i go and grab some vaseline. I have a big tub in by medicine cabinet.

A couple more days go by and im occasionally rubbing vaseline on my lips and nose, though not too often because i know my skin needs to breathe too. But today i start noticing my nose is getting more sore not less. Not too concerned because im still pretty sick. But today i went through less tissues than ever and my nose is still getting worse. After dinner im touching it and it feels a little swollen with a bump or two.

Then it dawns on my. Oh no. The vaseline. Ive been using it for months. So has my daughter. We use it most often when we have chapped lips. And we both get cold sores. I personally dont use vaseline when i know i have a cold sore, but i cant always tell right away, and i have no idea how careful my daughter is.

I go to check in the bathroom mirror and unless i am mistaken i indeed have a cold sore forming on my nose.

Why me?

I cry to the sky

Tldr: used vaseline on my chapped nose that likely had been used during a cold sore outbreak spreading the virus to my nose.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/iamprofessionalest on 2025-10-20 00:21:18+00:00.

As long as I’ve been doing laundry, I put all my clothes in the dryer on high heat so they can get dry and I can put them away. I was never really taught how to do laundry so this was how I’ve always done it. Eventually I started hang drying a few items I was worried would shrink.

I’ve gained a few pounds the last few years, nothing crazy, but I’ve been trying to get my weight down so I can fit into all my favorites outfits. I tried on an old garment yesterday since I was a bit lighter and it still didn’t fit, and the way in which it was tight didn’t even seem indicative of weight gain. They were overalls and the legs weren’t as baggy as they used to be. I tried on another pair of baggy pants and saw they had the same issue.

It was then I realized that most of my wardrobe that I can’t fit anymore is cotton, and while I’ve honed my laundry skills a bit over the years, I’ve still been putting most everything in the dryer on high heat for a full cycle. This whole time I thought I was delusional about how much weight I’ve gained, when I’ve been shrinking my clothes over the years.

TL;DR: I’ve been drying my clothes in the dryer on high heat for years and I thought I’d gained a ton of weight, I’ve actually shrunk all my clothes

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/babyxgirlll on 2025-10-19 16:56:37+00:00.

So last night I went out drinking with some friends. It wasn’t anything crazy, we just did some bar hopping and had a few to many tequila shots. I usually don’t drink much so by midnight I was basically running on autopilot. I called an Uber, got dropped off and stumbled up the stairs in my apartment building and let myself in. At least I thought I did. The door wasn’t locked, which I thought was weird but in my drunk brain I figured I probably forgot to lock it earlier.

I went straight to the bedroom, threw my clothes on the floor and crashed. A couple hours later I woke up to someone screaming like they saw a murder. I jumped up and there was this woman standing in the doorway holding a lamp like she was about to wack me.

Turns out I wasn’t in my apartment. I had walked into my neighbor’s - one floor down. The layouts are identical so drunk me didn’t notice a thing. Apparently her roommate had just left the door unlocked after coming home and I just wandered in.

She called the cops. I had to explain to two very unimpressed officers that I wasn’t trying to break in, I was just an idiot who can’t handle tequila and doesn’t know which floor she lives on. Luckily my upstairs neighbor vouches for me, but it was still a super humiliating walk of shame that I've ever done.

TL;DR: Got drunk, thought I was in my apartment, actually slept in my neighbor’s bed. She called the cops. I’m now officially the weird girl in the building.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/BookGnomeNoelle on 2025-10-19 14:51:02+00:00.

This happened Thursday, but there were repercussions, apparently.

I work the front station for a clinic, and help patients with their paperwork if they need. It's afternoon and a new lady comes in. She's already grumpy because she has to do seven pages of paperwork, I'm grumpy because she's taking her attitude out on me, and I just want 5:00 to hit.

I offer to help her with her paperwork, and she says, "I'd appreciate it" but she says it in this snarky tone of voice, like it's the least I can do for her. Then she follows it up with, "It's bad enough all these questions make me feel like a r-word." If you're not sure what word that is, it's the one people would use for mental impairments.

I hate that word. I hate it with a passion. It's a disgusting way for people to excuse their willful stupidity. I reacted without thinking and said, "That was my nickname in school." At first she stopped and asked, "Excuse me?" So I repeated, "Yeah, they called me that back in school, it was my nickname." I was dead-eye staring at her the whole time.

She stared at me for a few uncomfortable seconds, then she took the paperwork and sat down. When she went back, she apparently brought up my comment to the doctor, because I got pulled back to her office to discuss the situation after the patient left.

Then Friday, I got called into the manager's office. And I got heavily chastised, because "sometimes our patients may make rude and nasty comments, but it's our job to take care of them so they feel comfortable." Of course, I was written up for my actions. I'm angry about the situation, and I pointed out that she made herself uncomfortable by using that word. But I was still clearly in the wrong.

Tl;Dr - Patient said a nasty word and I made her uncomfortable by saying "that was my nickname in school" and now I'm written up at my job.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/janfebmarch23 on 2025-10-19 13:48:08+00:00.

*This happened a few weeks ago

My husband and I frequent a smoothie place on the weekends after working out. A few Saturdays ago, as per usual, we stopped by to get our post workout snack. They know us enough that we all clearly recognize each other when we go in, and our order is always the same - a smoothie for me and a smoothie bowl for my husband.

We saw our order was almost ready so we walked towards the counter as the lovely (larger) lady making our smoothies was trying to put a lid on my husband's bowl. As I got closer, I noticed she had really hooked it up and had loaded the bowl to the brim so I said, "ooh she's a fat one!" but then the lady suddenly looked a bit flustered and I thought it was weird but shrugged it off and as we grabbed our goods and turned to leave, I could see my husband was fighting for his life and when we got outside he insisted that the lady thought I was calling her "a fat one", not the smoothie bowl........

I was MORTIFIED but couldn't get myself to go in and clarify it with her so we drove away and now my husband will periodically say, "she's a fat one!" to me and crackle as I shrink in horror 😭

I am further mortified by the fact that we have literally not seen her working since, and I seriously seriously hope it wasn't because of that incident omggg.

TL;DR: I called a generously portioned smoothie bowl "a fat one" but the smoothie making lady thought I was calling her "a fat one." She's been MIA since.