Today I Fucked Up

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r/TIFU means Today I Fucked Up.

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776
 
 
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/subuso on 2025-11-30 23:56:08+00:00.


I’m not new to cooking, been doing it for 10+ years, and I’m usually the kind of person who has multiple pots going at once.

Today, I had chicken sizzling in one pan, pasta boiling in another, and on the third burner I started working on the sauce (it's actually an electric stove, but I don't know which word to use other than "burner"). I tossed in some oil and garlic to get that perfect toasted garlic flavor. And then I immediately forgot the burner was on.

By the time I remembered, the garlic had passed toasting stages. I scooped out the worst of the burnt bits and convinced myself the dish was still salvageable. It was not.

As I kept cooking, I kept taste-testing, praying the burnt flavor had magically disappeared. It hadn’t. I tried extra seasoning and more spices, but the burnt garlic taste held on.

In the end, I mixed the pasta and sauce together and added Mozzarella, Edamer, and Tilsiter. The cheese masked it just enough to be edible.

TL;DR: Was making lunch and forgot about one of the pots toasting garlic. It ruined my sauce but I managed to save it with cheese

777
 
 
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/PersimmonAccording12 on 2025-11-30 20:07:21+00:00.


words cannot describe how embarassed and humiliated i am 😭 the story is i was going to take out the trash at 11.40 pm, seems reasonable for most people to be asleep or in their room right? i live in an apartment near a university btw

so i just walked out of the room, trash bags in hands, apparently forgot to check whether i was wearing pants because i was too distracted. i walked around the building to the designated trash area, theres a dude sitting there but yk whatever, and then i stood there checking if any of the bags has spilled on the way down. theres nothing so i shrugged and was about to go back in my apartment.

the horror persists and so do i apparently. i then walked into the lobby era (which is brightly lit), was about to check on my mailbox when 2 dudes walk in chatting with each other. i dont wanna face anyone so i immediately turn around and go back in my own building. Luckily i didnt see anyone on the way lol

when i was back in my room i immediately go into the bathroom to wash my hands, and THATS when i realized holy fuck i didnt wear pants, or shorts, or whatever. just straight up oversized shirt, hoodie, some granny underwear and a dream.

im so so embarassed and want the ground to swallow me whole. this is like kids nightmare except im a grown woman who is too distracted by some fuck ass trash to checked whether or not she was wearing pants 😭😭😭 im not very tall though (around 5'4 (154 cm) so i think my hoodie and shirt might managed to cover up most of it. But still its so embarrassing . doesn't help that i met like 4 men on my odyssey .

can someone PLEASE tell me they have a similar experiences or something lmao im so embarassed

TL;DR: 11 pm, forgot to check whether i wear pants or not, went outside of my apartment, found total of 4 dudes, and luckily i wear my oversized shirt and hoodie.

778
 
 
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/a_LittleAngry on 2025-11-30 17:28:11+00:00.


Well technically it wasnt today but you get the idea. Well i was at the dinner table sitting with my family and my uncle was telling us his funny stories from the army and he is probably like the funniest guy ever we always have a blast with his army stories.

Anyways after a particularly funny point of the story my brother added something on it and at this point i already had to pee really bad and i just couldnt stop laughing i literally felt that i was going to pee so i tried to stand up and accidentally crashed into my brother in the process and that was the last straw for my bladder i just couldnt hold it anymore and started peeing myself while still trying my best to stop laughing 😭 Everyone was dying from laughing when they saw me running to the bathroom and well cant say it was the best thanksgiving dinner for me but definitely the funniest one for my family 🥹

TL;DR peed myself because i laughed at a story too much.

779
 
 
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Chubby_Chaser_4_Life on 2025-11-30 16:22:43+00:00.


I have a 16 week old lab puppy who until recently wasn't too snuggly but loves to play. Think - only wants to be pet for a few moments before trying to push a toy in your hand, or after 30 seconds of crawling in your lap for a cuddle she wants out again.

Don't ask me why, but I started doing this thing where I'd be the one to play dead when playing sometimes - like I'd go from kneeling to falling / lying face down on the floor (yeah, weird I know, I'm a single dude and live quite rurally, sometimes you do strange shit ha).

Usually, it's cute, she'll walk over my back and paw at me (puppy massage ha), try to lixk my ears, push a toy at me, then I'll pop my head up laughing and I'll tickle her and she'll get excited then roll over for a belly rub. Cute as hell, and encouraged physical touch she initiated.

Not today though. Today she was sick of my shit. Within SECONDS she full on bit the back of my neck with her puppy needle teeth, and when I naturally cried out and raised my hand to brush her off she then bit my hand very hard, and as I tried to stand up she pawed at my face hard enough to draw blood. Maybe I was actually worrying her that something bad had happened to me when I played dead?

So now I look like I've been attacked my the world's most incompetent vampire with 4 puncture marks on the back of my neck, 4 on my hand, and a claw cut down my cheek. The best bit is, I've got to present my 2026 plan to my CRO in the office tomorrow who's flying in from abroad. Maybe she does give a crap about me after all 😂

TL;DR: reverse played dead with my puppy who decided this time she was going to give me the kiss / bite of life, and now I have to present to senior leadership in person tomorrow with bite and cut marks on my head and hand 🙃

780
 
 
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/eleanorsladen on 2025-11-30 15:23:35+00:00.


Welp. It happened. Twas a brisk Sunday morning, and I, F21, with the hangover from hell, went to brush my teeth while staring at my mascara stained face. I grabbed my toothpaste without looking. It came out the bottle far too quick, which did inspire some level of concern, but apparently not enough to go back into the cupboard and look at the tube.

I wet the brush and started brushing. 2 seconds in, I realised I smelled something familiar, but I've just lit a soapy candle in my room that I've never used before, so it could just be that. 5 seconds in, it started to feel strange, I wondered wether toothpaste could go off because this just isn't right. 10 seconds, it tastes strange but do you know what I'm just gonna put up with it and hope for the best. 15 seconds, and I go for my daily wander, because I just get bored of brushing my teeth in one spot, sue me. 20 secon- wait. This. This smells familiar. It smells like- ugh I don't know.

25 sec- oh. God. Oh god. Oh god no. I know what this is. It smells like veet cream. It tastes like the smell of veet cream. Tell me I haven't- it's veet cream.

At this point I kinda wanna die, but I'm reassured that the veet cream will take care of this, should I swallow it. Now the best part is that my parents decided to call me at that exact moment. This is the best case scenario as my mother is a Midwife, and my Dad a surgeon. In the UK, I don't know how it is elsewhere, to get into those positions you have to complete a full medical education. My mum had, at one point, trained to be a nurse, doing the majority of that in an A&E (E.R). What I didn't expect was the immediate laugher from the other end of the phone.

I've since realised that I may be the disappointment.

Upon reflection, I didn't panic, like at all. Should I die, know that I found it hilarious, and laughed, with my hairless insides, till the very end. Godspeed.

TLDR: I did it for 30 seconds, me and my hairless insides probably won't die, and I do find it funny.

781
 
 
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/sleepy_Hound on 2025-11-30 11:32:43+00:00.


TIFU by trying to be helpful and accidentally becoming my neighbor’s… “intimacy consultant”??

So this happened last night and I still can’t make eye contact with anyone in my building.

I live in a pretty old apartment complex where the walls are basically made of wet cardboard. My new neighbor moved in a few weeks ago and we’ve exchanged maybe three awkward “hey”s in the hallway. That’s it.

Fast forward to yesterday: I’m chilling in my living room when I hear her knocking on my door. I open it and she looks embarrassed but determined, which is already a red flag for my anxiety.

She goes: “Okay, this is super awkward, but… do you know anything about… vibrations?”

Now, I’m a tech guy. My brain immediately goes: “Oh, like weird sounds in the pipes? Loose fixtures? Appliances rattling?” So I’m like, “Sure, I can take a look.”

She turns BRIGHT red and says, “No, I mean… personal vibrations.”

My dumbass still doesn’t get it. I’m thinking she’s asking about meditation apps or those dumb ‘raise your frequency’ YouTube videos.

So I tell her, with full confidence: “Yeah, I’ve helped people with that before.”

Her eyes go wide in a way I now realize was absolutely not the reaction to someone who means “guided breathing techniques.”

She invites me into her apartment and leads me to her bedroom. (At this point I should’ve understood SOMETHING, but no. No, I did not.) She opens her drawer, pulls something out wrapped in a towel, and hands it to me like it’s a wounded animal.

It’s a vibrator.

A still vibrating vibrator.

Apparently, it wouldn’t turn off and she didn’t know who else to ask.

My brain just disconnected from my soul. I stared at it like it was a live grenade. I didn’t know where to put my hands. I didn’t know where to put my eyes. I didn’t know where to put my entire existence.

But the worst part?

I panicked and said, “Oh yeah, this model. Classic problem.”

THIS. MODEL. LIKE I’M SOME KIND of CERTIFIED SEX-TOY MECHANIC.

Anyway, I somehow managed to “fix” it by holding down the power button for five seconds (which, y’know, is how literally every device works). She thanked me like I’d performed emotional CPR.

Then she said, “If it happens again, can I call you?”

I said yes because I blacked out and my social skills abandoned me.

So yeah. I’m now apparently the unofficial dildo tech support for my building.

TL;DR: Neighbor asked for help with “vibrations,” I thought she meant pipes or meditation, accidentally became her unofficial vibrator repair guy.

782
 
 
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Sigh_of_Frustration on 2025-11-30 09:03:59+00:00.


Part 1: Aquiring the Date.

So back in 2020/2021 (Peak Covid) my bestie and I (Both F21 at the time) were some pretty lonely bitches and decided to take a look at Tinder to see what all the fuss was about 😅 To set the scene we were two fairly shy girls with absolutely no boy experience and we were not ones to sleep around (No shame just wasn't our cup of tea.)

My bestie (We'll call her Jasmine) was alot more shy than me. Not gonna lie, I coddled her a little bit. But she and I were talking to some guys and she really liked hers. He asked her out and she said yes, then panicked immediately because she didn't want to go alone. It was going to be her first official date and she wanted me there.

Well, I had my guy in mind and told her I wouldn't be opposed to doing a double date with her in the hopes it would break the ice easier with a double date.

Fuck up #1: I was an idiot and a little desperate for some sort of experience in the dating scene so I matched with a guy on Tinder-WITH ONLY ONE PHOTO of HIM POSTED-in his military uniform. We talked for a while and he was a pretty nice guy so thought I'd ask him to join the double date, and he agreed.

Well, the day before the date comes and he messages me distraught, saying that he wrecked his car. He is devastated and was so sad that he wouldn't be able to go on the date.

Fuck up #2: I told him, "Hey man, no worries, if you want, I can go pick you up." THIS MAN I HAD ONLY KNOWN FOR A WEEK-ONLY SEEN ONE PHOTO of -AND THAT I MET ON TINDER! But, I was a stupid kid and was embarrassed that I couldn't find another date, and didn't want to let Jasmine down.

Welp, my guy agrees and I'm so happy. He sent me his address and was estatic.

Fuck up #3: The next morning I get up and head to Jasmine's house to pick her up cause she wanted to car pool to the date, which I didn't mind so she could come with me to pick up the guy. I'm messaging him all morning and he's NOT responding, and I'm thinking-well, he's a guy...so maybe he's still asleep.

Tell me why I drove all the way to his house, cause remember, he gave me his address last night. Surely he wants to still go, right?

We are driving for 30 minutes straight out into the country. Jasmine and I have no idea where we are, ehat the hell we're doing, but we just go with it.

Finally, I pull up to a house and this shady ass MF is sitting outsidr the house smoking a cigarette. I was not about to pull up all the way in that driveway. (First smart thing I do lmao). So I got out of my car and yelled from my door, "Hey, is "Chad" here?" He looks annoyed as all hell, takes his sweet time and eventually goes in and calls Chad to come out, then immediately re-exits to watch.

And...remember how Chad only had one photo of himself online? Yeah...that photo was a reach and taken years earlier. He looked nothing like his photo and honestly, he smelt awful. I was so embarrassed and just wanted to get out of there ASAP.

Chad just looked at me in shock and uncomfortable like I was the weirdo and said, "Hey....you came..."

I was still confused and in shock, but responded, "Yeah, you gave me your address and told me to come get you last night..."

He proceeds to say, "Yeah but I figured you wouldn't come cause I didn't respond."

Which, I stared blankly in awkward silence. Finally he says he can't go after all and I was RELIEVED. I immediately reassured him that it was completely okay and practically floored it out of there. Jasmine and I laughing, baffled at the whole experience.

And I made a mental note to never be this stupid again...

Part 2: The "double" Date.

So let recall the fact that this was STILL SUPPOSED TO BE A DOUBLE DATE. Jasmine still had her date coming and she was still scared to go alone and wanted me to join. I tried to protest, telling her I would be a third wheel, but she insisted. So..I caved.

Fuck up #4: We go to the restaurant and I have to awkwardly explain to this guy, "Mark" that my date was no longer coming. I introduced myself and we got a table. Well...I don't know what happened. I don't know if Jasmine was just shy or what, but she didn't speak to him at all. And I mean, at all.

I had to keep asking him questions trying to find something about him that we could talk about. Even trying to include Jasmine too saying these like, "Right Jasmine?" "What about you, Jasmine?" "Oh Jasmine loves that, don't you Jasmine?"

TRYING DESPERATELY TO GET HER AN ENTRY WITH THIS MAN!

The date was awkward as hell, and it felt more like a blind date for me than anything. I mostly talked to the guy, got to know him, had the most awkward lunch of my life, and was extremely thankful when it was over.

Thanks for reading my series of unfortunate events. 🤣

TLDR: My dumb ass fell for a older catfish, pulled up to his house after he ghosted me cause he sent me his address and I assumed he would still want to hang out. 🤦🏻‍♀️ Realized I was catfished, back tracked so fast. My best friend still wanted me to go on the date with her, so I was the 3rd wheel and somehow it became more of a blind date for me.

783
 
 
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/ruipilled on 2025-11-29 10:37:31+00:00.


So this actually happened today and it was the Most crazy thing in my life . I was at home, about to shower after cooking. A little food got on my shirt but it was no big deal cause i was about to shower anyway.. so i wiped it off, still stained tho. I turned on the gas boiler because obviously im not showering with cold water. I put some oil in my hair (i always do that besorge i shower), took off my bra and then the water was still cold. so I sat on my bed scrolling on my phone. And then… I bled through my pants onto my bed. 😭 I was about to change but first I needed to change my pad. I go to the bathroom and in the process i put the bloody pad on the floor. And then suddenly i hear a loud bang. The gas boiler made a loud noise. Water was leaking everywhere. I turned it off but my lungs started burning and I felt like I was going to pass out. I panicked because my cat was here too so I grab my cat and run outside. Im standing there in Hello Kitty pajamas a stained tshirt, oily hair, no bra, no socks, no shoes… basically a mess😭😭Neighbor called the landlord. Next thing I know, the fire department and police AND the ambulance all show up. 😭 Everyone had to evacuate. And since its winter now i didn’t shaved so I looked like a monkey(im a woman..!only my arms were half shaved for my pullies so the hair wouldn’t peek out(Hope I worded it Right help😭😭) firemen went inside didn’t find any gas. My bedroom was a disaster bloody pad on the floor, sheets stained and they saw it probably . I was standing outside looking like a complete disaster. I have never felt more exposed and ridiculous in my life.

TL;DR: I was about to shower, bled through my pants, put a bloody pad on the floor, had oily hair, no bra, cold water, half shaved arms and then the boiler made a loud bang so I ran outside with my cat in Hello Kitty pajamas looking like a winter monkey. The fire department, police, and neighbors showed up while my bedroom was a total bloody disaster.

784
 
 
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/OnlyMeUpstairs on 2025-11-29 03:10:48+00:00.


Today was the end of my shift as a student nurse. Earlier, I was tasked to take vital signs of a classmates patient. While taking her VS she asked me "Is there a chance of survival for babies even after the water bag broke?" I was shocked I didnt know what to say. I told her that yes there is a chance and possibility.

After going back to our station, I looked up to her chart and it says "inevitable abortion". I fucking fucked up. I wanna go there and explain to her. But i was weak i didnt have the guts to do so. How can I tell that it is not applicable to her case.

I wanna say sorry to her. I wanna go and explain to her. Im so mad. Im so mad that I didnt have the courage to correct my mistake at that moment. Now, i dont have the chance to correct it.

I fucking doubted. I know that I should not act when unsure but I still fucking did.

TL;DR: I told a patient whos diagnosis "inevitable abortion" that theres a chance for babies to survive after the water bag broke.

785
 
 
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/sioux612 on 2025-11-27 14:35:09+00:00.


Obligatory this didnt happen today but a week or so ago.

I'm from Germany where nobody uses SMS. The entirety of my SMS app consists of mailbox notifications and spammer/scammer messages.

I received an SMS from a number I dont have in my contacts. Typical message along the lines of "im currently in India, please write to me here or on whatsapp" - so THE typical scammer message.

Since I was a bit bored, I decided to reply. Nothing too awful, just the typical "man that must suck" type of trolling.

And they kept replying, and while their replies weren't immidiate red flags they still felt a bit weird.

At some point I must have annoyed him pretty badly, cause he asked whom I am. At that point I thought for the first time ever that something was a bit weird, because otherwise they usually dont ask stuff like that.

Well I decided to Google the number. And as it turns out, it was the phone number of my flashlight sales guy. I dont have him in my contacts(I have a flashlight problem but not that bad) when I google him and phone him my phone turns the number into his business name so its not like I know his number by heart.

I was very very very sorry. Well first I wanted to disappear in the ground, but then I was very sorry. As it turns out he is on holiday, that was why I couldn't reach him hours earlier and why he sent me a message saying he was in India.

Haven't contacted him again since, hope he enjoys his holidays

TL;DR I thought I was messing with a scammer but it was my favorite sales guy

786
 
 
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Opposite_Studio5011 on 2025-11-28 16:39:39+00:00.


It is pretty much as the title says, I had a job interview and told the interviewer (my potential future boss) that part of the reason I want/ need to learn Spanish is because my bf is from Argentina and is fluent in Spanish and so is his whole family, which is a partial lie, he is fluent in Spanish and I do want to learn he’s just not Argentinian he’s actually Canadian. I know it was wrong to lie, but I wanted the interviewer to really believe I have a desire to brush up on my Spanish (which I definitely do). Anyways now he wants to take both of us out to dinner (it’s a small company so this isn’t too unusual I guess) and I don’t know how to confront this lie. Do I fess up? Have him fake sick? Somehow skate my way out of it? I know this was a huge misstep on my part but I am not sure how to get out of it and any advice is appreciated.

TLDR: lied in an interview and said my boyfriend is Argentinian when he is really Canadian and now my potential future boss wants to meet him…

Edit: thank you to everyone who has responded and had some funny solutions i appreciate them all and im sorry i haven’t been responding to each individually there’s just too many, also to the people who called me out I did definitely mean nationality and that’s totally my bad for using the wrong term, I will update later once this all plays out

787
 
 
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Aromatic-Cod5327 on 2025-11-28 14:05:01+00:00.


This is a real mess up, guys. Like the sheer stupidity on my decision might’ve completely messed me up for awhile.

So this one’s pretty short. I 23M didn’t do this at thanksgiving as I probably would’ve gotten help much sooner. I was at my mother’s house a few hours after leaving thanksgiving at my grandparents. After sundown, it was quite cold so I decided I wanted to make a campfire in the backyard. I saw an extra juicy, supposedly dry rotted stick I wanted to add to the pile, so I picked it up, tried to break it by smacking it against a tree. This didn’t work so my totally sober brain decided to lean it up against a tree at a 45 degree angle and kick it. This still didn’t work so then I proceeded to jump on the branch full force. Upon impact, I felt a HUGE pop in my left ankle like I rolled it harder than I ever have in my life. The pain was instant so I ran back inside and began SCREAMING.

No obvious deformity so after the worst of the pain subsided, I laid in bed while watching my sister got me what I needed (best sister a guy could ask for) and my gf is a nurse, so she freaked out too when I told her, begged me to go to the ER so I did. Literally nobody could take me so as a last resort, I called my dad. He is the best dad ever, so he picked me up, and drove me to the ER despite having barely gotten any sleep the night before. We waited at the ER for awhile with me still being in agony while I got some scans done. I noticed that I couldn’t put any weight on my foot whatsoever. Eventually they were like “yep, it’s broken” due to the swelling and results of the imaging. I broke my left tibia, and tore a bunch of ligaments. I’m currently typing this as I have a cast on my left leg so yay :)

TL;DR I tried to be a tough guy by stomping on a log to break it. The log won.

Lesson learned. Guys, don’t try to be macho, just use a freaking saw.

788
 
 
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/banana_in_the_dark on 2025-11-28 17:37:37+00:00.


I was standing in line at old navy and was extremely nauseous. I wanted to step out of line but it was literally wrapped all the way around the store and I was only a few people away from checking out. I tried as hard as I could to keep it in but did not succeed. In a panic I just opened up my bag and ralphed. A group of people saw and wouldn’t stop whispering and staring. I don’t think I’ve ever been so embarrassed. I asked for an empty bag, exclaiming I think I’m pregnant in hopes that group would have a little sympathy, but who knows if they heard. On the way home I puked into that spare bag but it was a thin paper bag and the puke just soaked right through onto my pants. I peed my pants while puking (moms, iykyk) too. Why I thought it was worth standing in line to buy my stuff is beyond me.

Oh yeah, and I think I might be pregnant.

TL;DR: I puked into my purse and peed my pants at old navy

789
 
 
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/VandrelCosimar on 2025-11-28 17:07:34+00:00.


So I work from home in a tiny apartment and my favorite thing in the morning is a stupidly loud shower playlist on a bluetooth speaker. Yesterday I had a recurring check in with my team at 9, camera optional, so I figured I’d just join on my laptop muted, start the meeting, then hop in the shower real quick while they went over some boring metrics. I checked twice that I was muted, grabbed my towel, music already playing from my phone. About five minutes in I notice the music sounds kind of weird, like it is echoing, but I ignore it and start belting along to some truly cursed early 2000s pop, adding my own horrible adlibs. When I get out, my phone is full of Teams notifications and one DM from my manager that just says “you are not on mute”. Turns out my phone had decided to connect as an audio source to the meeting, overriding the laptop, so the entire team listened to me doing a private concert plus very unflattering commentary about the project while I thought I was alone. They renamed the meeting series to “karaoke sync”. TL;DR joined a call muted on my laptop, phone stole the mic and I gave my whole team a naked concert.

790
 
 
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/EmergencyCreative432 on 2025-11-28 15:57:29+00:00.


Tldr: I was starving, saw colorful little cubes labeled "Free Samples," and immediately ate one. It was lavender-scented, hand-milled soap. My brain short-circuited and my mouth foamed up right in front of the horrified vendor.

Okay, I need to know if anyone else’s hunger completely shuts off their brain. I went to the farmer's market this morning, skipped breakfast, and was vibrating with low blood sugar.

I was trying to find the pastry stand but passed this table full of bath products—lotions, candles, the whole deal. I was just walking by, but then my eyes locked onto a small tray. It had these perfect, colorful, square cubes. Like little pieces of fancy fudge or fruit jelly. There was a sign above it that just said, "Free Samples!"

I didn't stop, I didn't read anything. I just reached out, grabbed a purple cube that looked exactly like grape jelly, and jammed the whole thing into my mouth. I was already halfway down the aisle.

The instant I bit down, it was like a jump scare. It wasn't soft; it was dense and chalky. And the taste was so wrong. It was bitter, aggressively floral, and tasted exactly how air freshener smells. Before I could process it, it started foaming up because of my saliva.

I had to stop walking and just stand there, eyes wide, struggling to chew and spit it out into my hand, trying not to look like a rabies patient. The vendor, this sweet older lady, saw me struggling and ran over, yelling, "Oh my God, honey, are you okay?!"

I could barely manage to whisper, "I thought it was food," while frantically trying to wipe the purple bubbles off my chin. She pointed to the sign next to the tray that said, in tiny letters, "NEW SOAP SCENTS."

I grabbed a bottle of water just to wash away the flavor, but I'm still smelling and tasting lavender. I had to leave the market because I was dying of embarrassment.

791
 
 
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Brenden8r on 2025-11-28 14:07:06+00:00.


So yesterday for thanksgiving, I offered to bring a dessert in addition to arriving early to help with the cooking. I settled on making blondies since 3/4 other desserts that were being made were chocolate based and my wife can’t have too much chocolate. I make the blondies at home, take them out of the oven and eat one to test if they needed more time, then baked for another 5 minutes to finish them off. As soon as those 5 minutes were done, I took the container out and let it cool for a few minutes, then covered the ceramic cooking container with foil and put it in an insulated bag. We immediately drove down to my parents’ house 45 minutes away, and when we got there I took the blondies out of the insulated container.

Clue 1 that something had gone wrong: The whole drive down there, the car smelled amazing. We remarked several times that the blondies smelled like they were fresh out of the oven, and the scent seemed to get stronger as we drove.

Clue 2 that something had gone wrong: When I opened the container, I couldn’t pull the blondies out, the baking dish had very slightly melted the insulated container material and imprinted the baking dish logo into the container. I figured that it had been just a bit too hot and that I needed to cook it off more next time.

After peeling the baking dish out, I let it sit on the counter until dessert time. When that time came, I went to get the first Blondie.

Clue 3 that something had gone wrong: I had pre-cut 8 blondies in the baking dish so I tried to pull one out with a fork and was having a really hard time getting it out. I attributed this to the fact that I used cooking spray instead of butter to grease the dish.

When I went to cut off the first piece of my Blondie, the knife couldn’t put a scratch on it and made an awful grinding noise as I tried. The whole table collectively hushed to look at my rock solid Blondie as I tried to saw through it. I reasoned that the issue was because it was a corner piece and I was trying to cut one of the edges, so I went back and got a piece with fewer edges and tried to bite into it directly, and while I was able to bite through it, it was the densest, hardest, driest baked good I’ve ever eaten.

I immediately took them off the table and hid them away in an area where nobody would try to take any, then tried to work out what had happened. Eventually I figured it out.

By placing my blondies almost directly from the oven into my insulated container, combined with the fact that my baking dish is a ceramic that retains heat well, I baked the blondies for an extra 45 minutes over their 30 minute baking time.

Now I have a permanent reminder melted into my insulated container.

TL;DR: Turned my blondies into rocks on accident and permanently damaged my insulated container.

792
 
 
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/D4T45T0RM06 on 2025-11-28 10:49:05+00:00.


Yesterday concluded the last of my 10 dental extractions over the last three weeks. For years I was overconsuming sugary drinks, never brushing my teeth and just letting myself go. In total I have had to get 10 extractions over the last three weeks because of years of not taking care of them. I also have a follow up to check the sutures in two weeks and in a couple of months I have to go back for cosmetics, mostly fillings and root treatment and there's no talk about partials either. So learn from me, brush your teeth even if it's just once a day, take care of yourself, you are worth more than you let yourself think. Don't be like me, under 30 and missing over half my teeth and finding it hard to eat, you can do great things and I believe in you.

TLDR didn't take care of my self, had ten teeth taken out in three weeks, got 5 more appointment and none of them are about partials.

793
 
 
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Unfair_Structure_514 on 2025-11-28 08:31:54+00:00.


I work at this place since May, so I'm pretty new. I'm a goth and my fashion sense is a bit eccentric. Not in the way that I wear white face paint and toupee my hair but in the "always overdressed, frills and bows all day and never wears pants" way. Say Victorian gothic. Also completely dressed in black with maybe a few color accents when I feel like it. At work I follow the dress code; boring, tasteless plain clothing ordered from SHEIN in the happy colors brown and beige. No offense but it feels horrid wearing them. Like SpongeBob in that episode where he's "normal". I know it may sound edgy but wearing plain clothes has always been uncomfortable to me. My coworkers decided on a Christmas dinner, which would take place in a small group of 9-10 people at a restaurant in town. Because it's a private meeting and everyone said they'd wear their "normal pretty clothes" (their words, not mine) I decided to wear mine as well. Mind you, I don't have any normal clothes besides my few pieces that I wear at work, so I wouldn't even have fancy non-black/non-goth attire.

I decided to go for a Christmas black/red combination, picking a black blouse, fluffy skirt and red bolero which fit the little red ribbon I put in my hair. Light makeup without lipstick because eating and black ballerinas.

At the restaurant everyone wore something casual. Fuck. Literally jeans, maybe a pretty jacket but that's it. I was sticking out very badly. My coworkers were shocked when they saw me, looked at each other in a telling way, one even laughing and going "Okaaaay, guess OP really takes this seriously!".

Now add whispering after I left for the restroom and quick stopping of whispering when they noticed me coming back.

Oh welp, this place doesn't pay that well anyways.

TL;DR: Wore goth fashion to a work related Christmas dinner, unintentionally became a hot topic

794
 
 
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/CrashCrashed on 2025-11-27 03:58:34+00:00.


Albeit this didn't necessarily happen today, but over the course of about 2 months.

About 2 months ago I finally completed the civil war quests after putting them off while doing other quests. Well since then I was also then allowed to get the house in windhelm, Hjerim.

When I first got the house and was looking around, trying to figure out what to do with the new space, I noticed a floor bin(idk what else to call it) it's a rectangular bin that is set on the floor used to hold items. This bin was right behind the dinner table, not far from the door you enter. After having no ideas of what could go in there I thought "Hey, what if I put all these gems I'm collecting in here since I'm to lazy to sell them"

At first I was so confused, I thought maybe my game glitched. But then I remembered the gems. I put so many gems in that bin that I can now only enter my house and walk a few steps before my game crashes. I have no way of getting close enough to the bin to pick them up.

I can't use anything in my house anymore accept for the kids room and alcamy lab. Wich means that i cant get to any of the armor on my stands. I can't get to my room chest that has like half of what I own in there. It has multiple dragon claws, quest specific armor, weapons, and dragon priest masks I was saving to display in another home. Now I can't get to any because my ass wanted to look at pretty gems in a bin.

TL;DR I put way to many gems into a bin trying to decorate and now my game crashes if I get to close, meaning I now can't access over half of my items.

795
 
 
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Ill-Explanation-2103 on 2025-11-27 03:20:24+00:00.


For context, it was my birthday recently, and I had been thinking of buying a lip tint. Now a few weeks before my birthday, I had a conversation with a friend over lip tints and I shared some that looked really nice because we have similar fashion tastes. She did not know it was my birthday until later on and I told her that she did not have to buy anything. So I genuinely forgot about the conversation when I had decided to buy a lip tint.

But my friend surprised me with the same one today and I panicked and admitted I had bought it. And it ended up with her saying she'd use it when she asked what to do with it. Which I felt absolutely awful but also would have felt guilty if I didn't end up using it.

Now in hindsight after my anxious panic, I know it's seen as really rude in general to not accept gifts and really regret my response. And I don't know what to do.

I apologized over text after class but I generally really get anxious easily and mull over mistakes for a long time.

I'm not sure if I've irreparably damaged my friendship over this.

TL;DR: Today I fucked up by rejecting a gift in panic and now in a mental crisis over whether I've ruined my friendship

796
 
 
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/theGRCmind on 2025-11-28 02:12:12+00:00.


TIFU, So this happened last night.

I came home after a horrible day, traffic, deadlines, passive-aggressive emails, the full combo. I was starving but too tired to cook anything real. I opened the fridge like my life would magically get better if I stared long enough.

There was literally nothing except leftover curd rice, Maggie masala noodles, and a tiny pack of pickle.

I don’t know what possessed me, but I mixed all three together... yes, curd rice + Maggie + pickle and ate it.

And it was… insanely good. Like shockingly good. I sat there questioning my entire identity because how did that taste better than half the food I’ve ever ordered?

My roommate walked in right at the moment I was taking a proud second bowl and looked at me like she was witnessing a crime. She still refuses to sit next to me and keeps telling people we need an intervention.

Now I’m scared to ask this in real life so I’m asking strangers on Reddit:

What’s the weirdest food combination you absolutely love and swear by?

I really need proof I’m not the only broken one.

TL;DR: I mixed curd rice + Maggi + pickle out of hunger and exhaustion, and it turned out so ridiculously good that I’m questioning my life choices. Now my roommate thinks I need therapy, so I’m here asking if anyone else has an embarrassing food combo they secretly love.

797
 
 
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/mortadelo___ on 2025-11-28 00:41:30+00:00.


I marinated the turkey yesterday morning and placed it in a brass tray that has an iron rack so the turkey could rest there inside the tray. The rack is black, but it seems that after washing it over time, the black coating chipped off in some areas. I covered the marinated turkey with aluminum foil. Come this morning, I went to take it out, the aluminum foil had disintegrated on top of the turkey. It oxidized due to the galvanic reaction between the aluminum, brass, and the iron where the now conductive turkey skin was resting on. I had to remove the skin from the top part of the turkey where the aluminum oxide singed to the skin. Worst of all, the salt stayed on the surface of the turkey and not enough of it diffused deep enough.

TL;DR: TIFU by cooking a bland turkey due to an unexpected electrochemical reaction that created a battery.

798
 
 
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/young_wealth on 2025-11-27 19:06:09+00:00.


I've been selling on eBay for like 6 months now, mostly electronics and vintage stuff I find at thrift stores. Nothing crazy but I've been making decent side money and actually managed to save up a couple hundred bucks which felt pretty good. Anyways I keep all my inventory in these white plastic bags in my car trunk cause I'm too lazy to bring them inside.

At the wedding earlier this month I parked kinda far and my aunt needed her phone charger from her car. I offered to grab it since I was heading out anyway to get something from mine. I pop my trunk and there's literally like 15 white plastic bags stuffed with random electronics, cords, old ipods, you name it. I grab what I need and close it.

Apparently my uncle saw me and caught a glimpse of me shutting a trunk full of white bags. He tells my other uncle. They tell my mom. By the time I get back inside for dinner theres this weird vibe and people keep giving me looks. Finally my mom pulls me aside all concerned and asks if "everything is okay" and if I "need help with anything." Im so confused until she straight up asks if I'm selling drugs. Turns out half my family now thinks those bags are full of pills or something. I've been treating my family to dinner more often lately since I actually have some money saved aside for once, and apparently that just made them more suspicious. Like me picking up the tab at restaurants was somehow proof I was dealing. My mom literally said "we noticed you've been spending more" like it was evidence lmao.

I had to literally show them my eBay account and explain what I actually do. My cousin was dying laughing but my grandma still looks at me weird. Pretty sure Thanksgiving is gonna be awkward as hell now.

TL;DR sold stuff on eBay, kept inventory in white bags in my trunk, started treating family to dinners with my savings, they connected the dots wrong and thought I was a drug dealer

799
 
 
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/ki55a on 2025-11-27 14:31:44+00:00.


I (24F) am currently a university student, and i’m taking a mandatory statistics class where the prof decided there should be assigned seating, so theres this guy who sits next to me and hes a little weird. He doesn’t really speak, but what he does do is stare. Even when told to stop and that it’s creepy. I tried reporting it for sh and I guess it went through because he stopped staring at me, instead he just started staring at my computer screen- every time I pull up my uni folders he reads the labels and shamelessly would not take his eyes off my screen, which is equally as annoying. So I decided to make him uncomfortable back: I made this new empty folder and named it “porn” so the next time he reads my labels he’ll get flustered and maybe finally avert his eyes. I think it worked because he avoids eye contact with me now, so I kept the folder and never deleted it, and kinda forgot about it. Today, in a different lecture, I had an issue with a report submission and told the prof after his lecture. So he asked to see it and I pulled up my usual uni folders, and yes, it still had that “porn” folder at the top of the page. The professor was right behind me looking at my screen, waiting for me to show him my report. I’m 99% sure he saw the porn folder, even tho the second I noticed it I scrolled down quickly as if my life depended on it. After he solved my issue he looked a bit shaken and awkward and I didn’t know whether I should address it or avoid the topic. I didn’t say anything and just shut my laptop and got outta there. It’s been hours since and i’m still embarrassed about it. He is my favorite professor too, which makes this whole thing worse :(

TLDR: Tried to prank a creepy guy who stares at my screen during class, ended up embarrassing myself in front of my favorite professor by accidentally letting him see the fake porn folder on my computer.

800
 
 
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/AuthorGlittering1580 on 2025-11-27 09:37:53+00:00.


Backstory, I'm in college & my college has an esthetics program. Before I started here, honestly I didn't even know what that was, & just thought of it as fancy rich people spa stuff. They often needed models to practice on, I'm poor & lots of the services I had zero idea what is was (I've never been to a spa) or had had it done so my thoughts wer heck yea let me live it up like I'm rich.

Well they had this one service called prp micro needling where they took your plasma poked your face with basically a tattoo gun then massage it into your face. It's also called a vampire facial. It's very expensive & I'd never go pay to have that done, so when they needed someone to practice on of course I was like heck yea.

Well my skin does look great several weeks later & no it didn't hurt, but what I didn't think about is the fact that I have PCOS & this can cause hair growth. It's often done in the scalp to help with balding. Well with PCOS I have hair already growing on my chin & neck, & now it's gone from a little patch here & there & a few lone hairs to a straight up beard. I'm so embarrassed.

So if you ever want it done face or scalp it definitely works, but if you struggle with facial hair don't do it!!

TL:DR got prp micro needling done for free at school & now my PCOS hormal hair is 10x worse.

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