Today I Fucked Up

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/sgtpandybear on 2026-01-27 20:06:13+00:00.

The title says it all. I picked up some caramel chocolate from Aldi and ate the whole thing. It wasn't until I was done that I read the ingredients list and it said it had sorbitol. Not knowing what that was I looked it up and it's apparently a sugar alcohol commonly used in confections that also doubles as a laxative. I've spent the entire day regretting that decision while violently pissing out of my ass as my stomach cramps up. Note to anyone getting chocolate from Aldi, check the ingredients for sorbitol before making your purchase or you too will be regretting your decisions like I am. Next time I think I might just stick with my usual Cadbury camello chocolate bars when I'm feeling in the mood for some caramel chocolate.

TL;DR: I ate chocolate with a laxative in it without knowing it and now won't stop shitting.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Skippedy-Doo2020 on 2026-01-27 14:51:38+00:00.

Obligatory this did not happen today, but in the wee hours of 2000. I was reminded of the event by another poster. Here goes:

A group of 4 or 5 of us decided to head to the big city 45 minutes from the base for New Year's Eve. There was an 80's theme club that had an open bar once you got in. Can't remember the name. I think it was my turn to be DD, so I drank a lot of sarsaparilla and tried to have fun, mostly by watching my drunk buddies antics.

Of all my buddies (dare I say shipmates?) the one that stands out as the most likely to fuck something up when drinking, i will simply refer to as FOOL. Most of the stories have faded, but like I said, I was sober that night, so I remember this one.

Nothing major happened at the club, other than a large quantity of alcohol down the hatch. We all stumble out after the club closed at 0130, stop for some greasy food and hit the road. I'm driving FOOL's Pathfinder, so he's riding shotgun, thankfully passed out and I'm just bullshitting with the guys in the back seat.

I'm doing 70 on I-5 and all of the sudden FOOL wakes up and starts rolling down his window. Do you know what happens when someone throws up out a window at 70mph? I'll tell you! It won't hid the drunk ass throwing up, it will hit the driver. My entire right side was covered.

I swear I could not slow down fast enough to avoid it. Luckily there was an exit with a gas station in sight, So I take it and pull up to the far pumps and let FOOL out. Some of it did get on him, so he's using the paper towels to clean himself off and throw up in the trash can some more. Meanwhile the poor gas station attendant that had to work on New Year's Eve AND just got everything cleaned up, is just looking on, shaking his head.

I cleaned up a little myself, dropped everyone off on the way home (thankfully not on base, I don't think I would have gotten past the gate smelling like I did), took a shower and went to bed.

tl:dr: I was designated driver on New Year's Eve and got puked on as a thank you.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/FuckTheToothFairy on 2026-01-27 04:26:00+00:00.

I made the mistake of showing my friends the post I made about them. All of them forced me to share their feedback in a follow up post.

Drunk friend #1:

I literally had to piggyback you to your tent when we went camping last year because you were too fucking high to use your legs. And to top it all, you had a stoner boner! I felt that shit against my spine, bro. It was gay as fuck, but I carried you all the way to your tent, so with that being said, I think we're even.

Drunk friend #2:

Let's not forget the amount of times you got laid because of me. I don't know the specific number, but I know it's definitely more than the one time you dropped my drunk ass at home. As your wingman, I feel like a drunken arm wrestling contest is not so bad if the arm belongs to the guy who saved your sex life from being nonexistent.

Drunk friend #3:

Dude, if you're gonna include my dick in your Reddit story, the least you can do is tell the full story about my dick. You did suggest that I sit on the toilet seat to pee and I did tell you I might end up taking a shit if I do sit down, but in your post you skipped the part where I expressed my biggest concern about sitting down, which is my dick being too fucking big and the toilet seat being too fucking small for me to pee properly sitting down. That's not a flex. It's a fact. You were there. You saw it. Anyway, I owe you though.

There you have it. Feedback from my friends. Verbatim. Make of it what you will.

TL:DR I showed my friends the story I posted about me driving their drunk asses home, which prompted this unnecessary follow up post from their perspective that they forced me to share.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Due-Outcome-9113 on 2026-01-27 01:55:45+00:00.

On the first day of class my car broke down and I wasn't able to make it to school. I sent out emails to all my professors that day explaining my situation. All but one professor had responded so I had planned to give him a quick apology after class, and just introduce myself.

After waiting for the initial crowd to die down, as to not step on anyones toes in case they had more important matters to discuss with our professor, it was just me and one other person. The other person JUMPED on the opportunity to speak with him. I assumed this was because he had an urgent question, I was wrong. He wanted to chat with the professor about a different class he was taking with the same professor, and just generally telling the professor how cool he was. The professor at this point was telling the other student he had a class to run to and had to use the bathroom in between passes. This other person then offered to WALK THE PROFESSOR TO THE BATHROOM. So I gave up and just left.

As I walked to my next class I decide to call a friend just to complain. I was saying things along the lines of "why were they glazing him so hard bro, i just want to get a word in" "they seriously walked him to the bathroom?? I feel like at that point its common courtesy to let others go first" and what not. Well, turns out after walking the professor to the bathroom they had caught up to me and likely heard EVERYTHING. They did not look pleased.

TL;DR I was complaining about my classmates while not knowing they were right behind me.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Aurogirl on 2026-01-26 23:09:20+00:00.

Today I F***ed Up by assuming my mic was muted during a work meeting - spent a solid 5 minutes aggressively pep-talking myself in the mirror about how I’m “a capable little guy who deserves snacks” - included finger guns and a full practice victory speech - noticed everyone was very quiet but figured wow they’re really letting me have the floor today - finally looked at the screen and saw 23 coworkers frozen like mannequins and my boss slowly removing his glasses - one coworker typed “is he talking to us or himself” in the chat - I panicked and tried to play it off by saying “sorry bad podcast” which made it worse somehow - meeting ended early - HR emailed me “just checking in” - I have never once checked in successfully in my life

TL;DR: Thought my mic was muted, gave myself a full motivational speech, accidentally broadcast it to my entire team and HR.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/TheOtherTyler on 2026-01-26 19:28:54+00:00.

this happened yesterday but it's still painful. yesterday, we had a really bad snow storm, bad enough that my wife had to sleep at work (she works in a hospital and they offered rooms to people working over the weekend). in the middle of the storm, I had a couple drinks and took a hard nap. I slept so hard, I missed every phone call my mom made to me. so she thought the worst and bombarded my wife with calls to check on me. so she ended up driving home in the middle of the storm, thinking the worst.

when she got home and saw that I was fine, she screamed at me. it's one of the worst times I've ever heard her yell at me. I tried to calm her down, after all, I didn't really do anything bad except not hear my phone. but she was not having it.

TLDR I fell asleep in the middle of a storm, missed several phone calls, and made my wife think I was dead.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/LoTGoD on 2026-01-26 17:53:38+00:00.

After 36 hours of non-stop snowing, I decided to tackle my driveway. My neighbor had used his tractor and snowblower attachment to do the main parts, but I have a few areas for parking that he didn't do. I was thankful for any help as he does this for most of the cul-de-sac that we live on.

I have a medium sized snowblower that should be able to tackle the 10 inches we got over the last 2 days. I also have 2 great danes. When we let them out over the course of the lasts few days, they didn't go far from the man door in the garage to do their business. I was able to get the large "deposits" out in to the yard area, but couldn't do much for the yellow snow....

I started out facing away from the wind, and as I headed back towards the house, into the wind, I was reminded that blowing yellow snow doesn't taste great.

TL;DR - Got dog piss all over me

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/sir_are_a_Baboon_too on 2026-01-26 12:45:56+00:00.

Bri'ish, so not sure how I can share pictures these days (imgur banned).

Aaaanyway, bought myself some glow in the dark paint pigment. Because I wanted to DIY the side dots on my guitars. Also because some 40K stuff was gifted to me at Christmas (they're "Egyptian Robots", I'm not up on the lore yet).

Obviously I was smart enough to wear gloves/mask, and to put down some protective newspapers and plastic sheets. Thankfully my work area remained clean and free from contamination. Hopefully the bin men don't get a surprise too on bin day. Neon green glowing rubbish is probably not what they want to see.

But here comes the FU. Glow in the dark pigment powder? Yeh. Not so easy to see with the lights on now is it? So imagine my surprise when I got out my UV lamp to aid in cleaning up. As I said, work area was clean and clear. However my arms above the gloves, torso, lap and crotch ... all glowing under UV. The powder was very very fine and must have, I don't know "aerosolised" and gone EVERYWHERE!

Now then, I had the knowledge to consider it had become aerosol. And I was safe in the knowledge that it isn't harmful or radioactive. So why on Earth I thought blasting my hands under a fairly high pressure tap would help. So now with the UV torch between my teeth, I had to clear off the sink backsplash, some of the nearby toiletries, but thankfully not my tooth brush. Consider me safe from giving myself a new kind of "Turkey Teeth" makeover.

Which brings us to my toilet seat lid. I don't know what cheap plastic it's made from (landlord special). But it had spread all over my tiny bathroom. Sink and tiles no longer glow, and a bit of iso alcohol has cleaned MOST of the toilet. But it still glows a little! Gonna hit it with bleach and a rougher scrubbing device after work.

Part of me feels like I should have left it. So I can do business at night without blinding myself with the big lights.

TL:DR glow in the dark paint pigment is a very fine powder, and easily spread around surfaces.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Aggravating-Flow-888 on 2026-01-25 22:46:19+00:00.

So, for background, I work with kids at a daycare, and today we had a new girl. She was around 7 or so. I wasn't working with her much that day, so I hadn't noticed her eyes. At the end of the day, her parents came to pick her up, and while they were right there ,she bounced up to me and yelled, "Look at THIS!" and she pointed directly at her eyes. I thought she was crossing her eyes, and that was what she was showing me. so I said "yeah I used to cross my eyes as a kid too!" in that way adults talk to kids. She looked a little stunned, before I realized she was pointing to her hair, which had bits of red hair chalk on the tips. I slightly died inside as her parents glared at me. I don't think they will be coming back to daycare.

TL;DR accidentally asked a kid if she was crossing her eyes when she pointed to them, turns out she was just showing me her hair chalk.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/qkwi on 2026-01-26 08:16:13+00:00.

I love spicy food. I'm a weirdo who will eat chili powder on buttered bread, eat whole roasted jalapenos, basically i love the fire of spice. My friend gave me dried szichuan peppers for my birthday and I was very excited to try them. Yesterday I decided to use them for the first time and decided I'd first try one of them dry to see the taste. Didn't feel much - so I ate a couple and started to get the tingly feeling ! Great I thought.

But suddenly I am gasping for air and gagging uncontrollably. I feel like I am dying, rush outside to knock on my neighbors door to ask for a heimlich maneuver, no answer, rush back in and try to vomit by jamming my fingers in my throat. This does the trick and I puke out a bunch of crushed husks and some of my previous meal...

Terrifying experience - not sure I'll be too keen on using them in the foreseeable future or at least not in large quantities!

TL;DR : Almost killed myself by tasting szichuan peppers

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/BrilliantlyNope on 2026-01-26 02:04:37+00:00.

A few days ago, there was a post in the TIFU sub about a guy who ate, like, 4x his regular dose of edibles and ended up creating a spaghetti extravaganza nightmare.

He bought a stronger gummy (10 vs 5) without realizing it. Combined with his decision to take a whole gummy instead of his usual half, the increased potency made him really, really high. He used his household's entire monthly spaghetti budget allotment to make a ton of pasta with marinara and meat sauce, but had neither enough Tupperware nor fridge space to store it. He didn't know what to do with the troublesome amount of spaghetti.

I became very invested in his story and was eagerly awaiting an update letting everyone know how he got his spaghetti situation under control and what his roommate's reaction was. Did he put it in Ziploc baggies to freeze? Did he eat a ton of spaghetti? Is he still eating the spaghetti? Was it good?

tl;dr: TIFU by not commenting on the post about the guy who got high and created an ungovernable spaghetti supply; thus, I'm unable to find the original post using my comment history and am left with an incommodius sense of unfinished business.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/NunsWithNunchucks on 2026-01-25 10:28:06+00:00.

A bit late to the party, but I recently went to the cinema to watch the new Avatar movie. I never planned to watch it on the big screen because I no longer care about the Avatar franchise, but my friend invited me to go watch the movie with her and her son since she had free movie tickets, so I was like, free shit, why not. Stop reading now if you still need to see Avatar 3 and you wanna avoid mild spoilers.

To my surprise, the cinema was full, even though the movie has been out for weeks. I've spent enough time with my friend's son to know how vocal he is whenever we're gaming together, so I low key expected him to provide commentary throughout the movie. However, what I didn't expect was one comment in particular.

There's a scene in the movie where one of the blue alien girls kisses the human boy in the film. My friend's son started giggling with a mouthful of popcorn. His giggle was contagious, so I automatically giggled too. My friend playfully shushed both of us. At that moment, my friend's son looked at me and said "you should kiss my mom like that."

The people in our row definitely heard because some of them were laughing, albeit discreetly. I automatically looked at my friend, but she avoided eye contact, so I did the same and pretended none of that just happened. There was still like a thousand hours left of the film, which made for an anxious experience because I didn't know if there was gonna be more love scenes that would prompt my friend's son to say more uncomfortable shit.

There was an awkward vibe between my friend and I when we eventually walked out of the cinema, but we didn't allow it to get in the way of us enjoying ourselves. That being said, I'll think twice before going to the cinema with my friend's son again lol.

Tl:dr Agreed to go to the movies with my friend and her son, which was wholesome at first, but then my friend's son saw two characters kissing and said I should do that to his mom for everyone in the cinema to hear. Needless to say, I died inside. In fact, I'm still dying.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/FuckTheToothFairy on 2026-01-25 15:19:08+00:00.

I had to drive my friends home last night. I was the only one sober. Everyone else was wasted. I had 3 stops to make. Each stop had its own challenges.

First stop:

Drunk friend #1 refused to follow me into his apartment because he didn't recognise where he lived. Even though he literally saw me taking his keys out of his pocket to open the front door, he still continued to argue with me instead of entering his apartment. I was forced to grab his arm and pull him inside so I could show him all the shit in the apartment that belonged to him. He passed out while I was trying to convince him that the Polaroid photo on the fridge was a picture of his girlfriend.

Second stop:

Drunk friend #2 made it into his apartment without a fight, however, he refused to let me leave once I helped him inside. Drunk friend #3 was still waiting for me in my car, so staying was not an option for me. I eventually managed to escape after agreeing to an arm wrestling contest to earn my freedom. I only won because drunk friend #2 forgot how arm wrestling worked. Instead of trying to pin my arm by pushing left or right, he attempted to push my arm forward, like, towards my face. He reluctantly accepted defeat and allowed me to leave when I pinned his arm and explained to him why he never would've won.

Final stop:

Drunk friend #3 had the least amount of alcohol, but somehow he appeared to be the most intoxicated. I was walking him towards his room when he informed me that he had to use the bathroom. I guided him to the toilet and asked what he wanted to do. He said he had to pee. I asked if he was capable of using the toilet on his own. I really wanted him to say yes, and he did, but then he also said his aim might be a little off. I instructed him to unzip his pants and pull out his dick, which he did. A little to the left, go down a bit more, keep it there, and fire away. That was more or less how I directed him. From the bathroom, we went to the bedroom. His dick was still out, by choice, because he felt sorry for his penis being stuffed in his underwear all day or some shit. I was too numb to give a shit by that point, so I made sure he was safe inside his bed and then I left.

Next time they can call an Uber lol.

TL:DR I decided to drive my drunk friends home and ended up in unnecessary arguments, nonsensical arm wrestling, and being forced to instruct people how to use their penis while peeing.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Creative_Range684 on 2026-01-25 15:14:24+00:00.

My car has been making a loud rumbling noise in the back, likely due to a wheel bearing that needs to be replaced. Money has been tight, so I decided I would fix it myself with tools I have at home.

I lifted the car, removed the wheel, the brake caliper, and the disc, but I couldn’t get the axle nut off. I loosened the divot (safety mechanism that prevents the axle nut from loosening on its own), applied some rust spray, and tried using an 18-inch breaker bar, but I still could not get it loose. For reference, this bolt is tightened to 159 ft/lbs, so it’s extremely tight.

I decided to go to Home Depot to buy a metal pipe. I could insert the breaker bar into the metal pipe, thus extending the length and giving me way more leverage.

Home Depot is a mile away, and I didn’t want to take my car since that would require reassembling the brake + putting the wheel back on. So I took my motorcycle.

I got to Home Depot and found a large steel pipe — 1 inch diameter, 4 feet in length, probably 10 pounds. Because it was late and I live in a bad area, I brought my helmet in with me so that no one would steal it from my motorcycle.

The store was closing in 20 minutes, and there was only one cashier working, with about 10 people in line getting things last-minute. It’s quiet and people were getting frustrated due to the wait. 

I finally get to the front and the cashier starts making small talk.

“How’s your night? Did you find everything okay?”

“Yes”

And then the cashier asks me

“I noticed you have a helmet with you. Did you ride a motorcycle here?”

“Yes”

“How are you going to transport that large pipe while on a motorcycle?”

Without thinking, I loudly and proudly say

“I’m gonna sit on it!”

The tense silence breaks, and the cashier + several people in line burst into laughter, and it dawns on me what I just said.

I tried to clarify “No no, I meant I’m going to sit on it sideways! I live around the corner so it shouldn’t be a big deal”

And the cashier goes “yeah, that’s what I figured. I don’t think a pipe that size would fit in your butt”

It ended up working though! I got the pipe home and got the axle nut loose. And it only cost $20 + a hit to my pride.

TLDR: told everyone at Home Depot that I was gonna stick a 4 foot steel pipe up my ass.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Satanic_Jellyfish on 2026-01-24 19:27:57+00:00.

I am currently visiting my family in another city and it just so happened that there is some nice dental clinic in which I decided to have an appointment. To go there, I chose a quicker route which had a big open area on its way. While there I suddenly heard a buzzing sound coming closer. It is important to add that I am Ukrainian, the city is front-line and that buzzing was a drone on its merry way to kill someone. I can’t describe it other than bone deep terror, being stranded there in the middle of the road with nothing but chest high fences around with my only thought being that I didn’t want to die so abruptly. Luckily, there was some small building I could hide behind (not without falling on my way there). Once it flew over my l quickly started to stumble to the more narrow place but then that thing turned back! Well, at least now I was a bit closer to relative security and after some running I took shelter under the bigger building, waited out and went to the clinic. In hindsight, I probably only lived because I wasn’t the most appetising target and was left with just a bit of a psychological trauma and a sore knee?

TL;DR: Almost died to drone because I have chosen an open road

P.S.: I hope it fits this sub I didn’t know which one would suit better? I hope my English was comprehensible enough

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/dawek65 on 2026-01-24 15:28:44+00:00.

This actually happened two months ago, but I still think about it every few minutes or so, lol. I moved to a city (Europe) to start a new life and rented a room in a flat with a shared kitchen and bathroom. After I moved in, I was informed that the washing machine hose (which stood in the shared bathroom) was not securely attached and had to be placed manually into the toilet bowl each time. I was quickly shown how to do it, and I thought I understood.

The following day, the two other flatmates left the city, and I stayed alone in the flat. I needed to wash my sheets, so I proceeded to do the laundry. I remembered to insert the hose into the toilet, and I did the first load, which went fine. Then I put in the second load, so, you know, the washing machine was running for about three hours altogether. About 40 minutes before the cycle ended, I lay down in my room. After half an hour, I heard a bell ring. It was my neighbors from the apartment below, screaming that their flat was being flooded.

I realized that the hose had come out of the toilet, so the water spilled onto the floor and then made its way down to the flat below. The reason was that I had positioned the hose the wrong way, which turned out to be too loose -the hose wasn’t secured properly.

I quickly tried to collect the water, but the damage had already been done. It was all very unfortunate because the floor in our bathroom is crooked, so the water didn’t even stop there and instead flowed like a river through the apartment (sadly avoiding my room, which made it impossible for me to notice it myself a bit earlier). After wiping the floor, I went downstairs to see what it looked like in the apartment below, and water was leaking from many holes. The neighbors were furious, and the lady called me the worst neighbor they had ever had (and rightfully so - they had lived there for 30 years and nothing like this had ever happened before).

Now there are water stains on the ceilings and walls everywhere down there, and the apartment is going to be renovated in February. I have an enormous sense of guilt because my careless and stupid action caused so much destruction. Later I also found out from my roommates that the hose had come out like that a couple of times before, but there were more people in the flat at the time and it was noticed almost immediately. Still, I was told that in those cases the hose had been attached better anyway and that those incidents were just unfortunate. My setup, though, was so careless that it was basically doomed to fail. I completely lacked the imagination to consider what could potentially happen and didn’t foresee an outcome that, in hindsight, should have been obvious.

TL;DR: I flooded my neighbors’ flat by inserting the washing machine hose into the toilet bowl incorrectly.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Rich-Sheepherder2439 on 2026-01-24 19:51:25+00:00.

Now, I’m not gonna say I’m the sharpest tool in the shed, or the most observant person. So when I saw on the manual for my Brita that as long as the light was green when I poured it out, that it should be good to use. I got this Brita in August of 2024, when I first moved into my apartment. I live alone, and I kinda just accept things the way they are. Today I was washing the filter, because I noticed the water tasted rather chemically, and saw the mold at the bottom of my filter. After telling my friends I’ve since found out how they work, I think, and also how faulty the lights are. But for the last year, I’ve been drinking water filtered through mold. I think the only reason I’ve not gotten horribly sick is because I’m what my friends call, “a freak”, and drink milk way more often than I drink water. So much so that I often buy two gallons at a time, which last about a week. I mostly drank water on the off time where I didn’t have it, which isn’t very common.

TLDR: After a year and a half, I found out that I had no idea how Brita filters work, and have been drinking mold for a year. The lesson is: drink milk. 🫡

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/RibblesCobblelob on 2026-01-25 01:25:01+00:00.

I was building with my 5-year old when I realized I hadn't finished taking my pills for the day. I have to add that I am a very confident pill taker, I take a bunch of supplements and will usually do 5+ in a single swallow. I was also simultaneously listening to the Monte Carlo rally through one airpod so i could still interact with my kid.

I get few pills down and feel something lodge itself in my throat, at the same time I also notice I only have one airpod in and the other is not in sight. IMMEDIATE PANIC. I rush to the bathroom and shove my fingers down my throat to try and up-chuck. I curse my iron stomach that hasn't thrown up in nearly a decade and shakily acknowledge I'm probably going to the ER to have them remove an airpod before my stomach acid rips the battery open.

I figure before I drive us to the ER I should do one final sweep to make sure my airpod theory isn't wrong. It's not at the table we were playing at, not at the couch I was sitting on prior to play, I take my other airpod out to put back in the case and.... find the second nestled safely in its home.

It's at this point I look at my 5 year old and see her sheet white and scared for my life after the horrific sounds she heard. Took the next 15 minites to help her see the humor in it so she's not traumatized.

TL;DR Overconfidently took a handful of pills, got the fish oil pill lodged in my throat and mistook it for my airpod. Traumatized my 5 year old in the process.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/TlacuacheGritando on 2026-01-25 00:37:11+00:00.

TIFU we had a case of black mold growing in between the bathroom tiles and I spent a couple of hours cleaning it with vinegar because I read it kills the mold. I washed it with water, and thinking all the vinegar went away I proceeded to clean it with bleach.

Big mistake, the remaining vinegar mixed with the bleach and now it smells toxic inside, my nose and throat itch, the fumes are unbreathable and even after a couple of hours ventilating it still smells toxic. My roommate can't shower until tomorrow and nobody can use the only bathroom with a shower. Fortunately there's another one with a toilet and a sink. But still, it's a fuck up, and I'm afraid the fumes won't be away by tomorrow morning. I already washed everything with water, again, including the sink and the walls.

TL;DR: Accidentally mixed vinegar with bleach while cleaning black mold in the bathroom and the fumes are toxic as hell. My roommate can't shower, nobody can use the bathroom

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Sorry-Sign2042 on 2026-01-24 20:49:46+00:00.

I collect Playbills from Broadway shows. Today I went to a convention in NYC with a booth that sold vintage ones; they had two rare items in stock that I’ve been trying to track down for a long time, and eagerly bought them for $50.

Like an idiot, instead of putting them in my backpack, I put them in a merchandise bag a booth gave me for free.

I go to a few panels, grab some lunch, eat in the hotel lobby. I’m stopping in the restroom and realize I don’t have the black bag on me. I look around everywhere - it’s not where I was sitting in the lobby, it’s not in the restaurant where I got food, it’s not in the room that had panels.

Feel like a total idiot. I’ve put in claims with the Lost and Found of the con, but of course, nothing’s happened yet.

I could cry.

TLDR: Bought two Playbills I’ve been trying to find forever, set the bag down somewhere & forgot where.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/BurntToastyStrudel on 2026-01-24 03:14:36+00:00.

So for context, I (20m) am a college student, so naturally I have a backpack to put my books and other items in. Sometimes I'll also put some miscellaneous trash in the pockets on the side of the backpack. The pockets are made of mesh-like material, so it isn't a full sheet of fabric (this is very important).

That being said, about a month or two ago my screen protector cracked on my phone, and there wasn't a nearby trash can to throw it in, so I did what I usually did and put it in my backpack pocket. I intended to throw it out after class, but I forgot about it entirely.

Over time, the glass part must have broken down, and small shards imbedded themselves into the outer part of the pocket, making the outer part sharp and painful for anyone who touched it - so just me. Except, I somehow never used the pocket on that side again, until this morning when I was putting another piece of trash in it. It was a piece of paper crumpled into a ball, so I smacked the pocket on the outside to smash the paper down flat.

I immediately felt a sharp pain in the middle of my palm, and I jerked my hand back and looked at it. Blood was already streaming out of the puncture, and it dripped onto my (white) shirt and (light colored) pants before I cupped it with my other hand. I got it patched up and it stopped bleeding after a little bit, but it was just a lot of pain and mess over something stupid past me did. I also ended up having to cut off that mesh part of the pocket since there was so much glass inside of it, which basically removed the pocket, which feels like the cherry on top of this disaster sundae.

TL;DR: I put basically broken glass in my backpack pocket and now I've injured myself because of it.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/AngryFireHealer on 2026-01-24 09:19:11+00:00.

I’ll start this off by saying, I’ve always sucked with conflict and I’m trying to work on it, but I know that’s not an excuse. I’m also on mobile so ignore any formatting errors

For context I’ve been friends with most of these people for years, I found them when I had no one and honestly the idea of losing them feels like having all my organs ripped out at once. Probably not a healthy amount of attachment but it is what it is.

This all started a few weeks ago, one friend who I’ll call K started talking about how our other friends, H and F, were becoming more critical of him lately and being hostile to a friend he’d recently brought into the group. K started airing a bunch of petty stuff about them to me and a couple other friends who I will now call Group A to make this all easier to follow. It honestly felt like shit you’d expect a bunch of adults to move past pretty quickly to me at the time, so I continue to focus on work and personal matters for a while.

That was until accusations started to get more serious and because every time anyone was actually talking more about it I was either working or busy I never saw any real evidence aside from what was quickly becoming a he-said/she-said nightmare. I started panicking pretty quickly, which was only made worse when compounded with financial issues and work stress. I mean seriously, I’m trying to figure out how to pay rent next month and everyone in Group A has started to turn on H, F, and anyone connected to them (I’ll call them Group B from now on).

And that brings us to tonight, I get off work and I call someone from Group B who I assumed to be a more neutral party, Y. I was having a bit of a panic attack seeing as I was stuck in an echo chamber of people turning on people for what I felt was a misunderstanding. So I vented and she immediately told H and F what was going on, causing them to go investigate. Group A got pissed at me for telling her because they know H and F know where they live and can easily try to retaliate which is something I’ve never known them to do. Group A removed me from everything I was in with them and got upset at me for betraying them and Group B blocked all of Group A. So instead of bridging the gap I think I just threw a nuke in it. I feel like shit about all of it and wish that things could go back to the stupid petty drama it started with. It feels like I’m in high school all over again. I don’t know, I feel like I want to hide away from everyone right now.

TL;DR I panicked about my friend group starting to implode and called the wrong friend to help me through it. Now everyone hates each other.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Icy-Management-9749 on 2026-01-23 22:40:41+00:00.

I have been pretty offline for most of my adult life, staying private and guarded. Well after years of being a hermit, I finally decided to let myself go a little. Recently I decided to dip my toes into the online connection world, mostly just looking to see what's out there and maybe find someone who actually gets me.

Huge mistake MASSIVE.

I met this guy online (not an app, just a niche interest forum/community). From the first message, the chemistry was terrifyingly good. You know that feeling when you meet someone and it’s like you’re speaking a secret language only the two of you know, that was us. His worldview, his cynicism, the way he parsed the world it stirred something in me.

Every single thought he shared, every perspective, just resonated deep in my soul. I felt this intense, undeniable connection, like maybe, just maybe, this was the person I'd been unknowingly searching for in everyone. My heart genuinely stirred.

We started texting daily, long conversations. I was genuinely excited, feeling a way I have never felt. We were planning to meet up soon.

Then last night while chatting about family (totally innocently), a detail came up. A really specific, unique family detail that I mentioned assuming it wouldn't mean anything.

There was a long pause. He replied with: Wait is your grandfather [Name]?

I thought OMG our families know each other. This is so romantic! It’s destiny!

It wasn't destiny. It was DNA.

The person I’ve been pouring my heart out to, who I thought was this incredible, soul-stirring man... is my fucking uncle. The one I barely see but technically exists. I have spent the last three weeks essentially e-flirting and soul bonding with the man who used to bounce me on his knee at Christmas 25 years ago.

I don't know whether to laugh, cry, or scream into a pillow for the next month. My brain feels scrambled, and my heart feels simultaneously tricked and broken.

I feel sick. I finally let my guard down and the one person who actually "gets" me is the one person I am biologically barred from ever speaking to like that again. I haven't replied to his last message. I think I might just delete the internet.

Tldr: Finally ended my years long hermit streak to find a soulmate who perfectly matches my brain and heart. Turns out, the reason our "vibes" matched so well is because we share 25% of our DNA. I’ve been e-flirting with my biological uncle for three weeks.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/maryfcat on 2026-01-24 01:15:06+00:00.

Gang, it's rough out here.

I'm in my (28F) fifth year of my PhD program, and will be graduating in the summer. My advisor (45?M) and I have grown fairly close during this time; we have similar senses of humor and work very well together. There is still a level of professional distance obviously, but we trust each other and I anticipate that we will be good friends after I graduate.

He is married and has a kid, and I have met his wife several times now at events or over for dinner at their house (both she and his daughter are lovely, and I get along with them really well). I.e., from what I can tell, he is in fact actually married, even though I haven't ever really seen him wearing his wedding ring either at work or at home. Today I was meeting with him when he mentioned his wife in passing, and for some reason my brain decided it was a good idea to blurt out, "speaking of [wife's name], why don't you ever wear your wedding ring? I've noticed some other professors do that -- is that like, a professor thing?"

As soon as it left my mouth, I realized just how rude/invasive/thoughtless of a question it was. Our relationship is very casual, so I think my filter was just completely off, but I felt horrible the second I asked. He kinda just looked at his hand for a second, and then said, "That's.... a very personal question."

I think I can count on one hand the number of times I have seen him serious like that. I apologized profusely and our meeting ended pretty much immediately. I messaged him to apologize again for overstepping boundaries, and he assured me it was alright, but I've been feeling physically ill about it all day. I'm not sure what possessed me to ask that (an extremely inappropriate question that's basically a landmine for potentially bad answers?), and even though he said it was alright, I've been basically shaking since then, I'm just so anxious about the whole thing.

TL;DR: I stupidly asked my wonderful (married(?)) PhD advisor why he doesn't wear a wedding ring, he obviously reacted weirdly, I apologized, he said it was fine. I've spent the last three hours trying not to throw up from anxiety.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Serious_Salamander63 on 2026-01-24 00:57:29+00:00.

I don’t use weed a lot or very often — but when I do, I usually take a 2.5 edible (I cut 5s in half because my tolerance is super low). That gets me pleasantly high without feeling dumbed down. Well, I had a stressful day at work today and wanted to unwind. When I got home I went into my stash and grabbed a package of edibles - a new brand I had gotten at the dispo the other day. I thought to myself “I’ll just take a 5, I really want to unwind”. So instead of cutting it in half I took the whole thing. It hit while i was cooking dinner.

I don’t know how it happened. Something came over me. It’s like one moment I was looking at an empty stove top. Then I blinked and it was 45 minutes later, and I’m looking at a giant pot of pasta sauce. At this point it was still manageable. I could’ve just stopped, but for some reason I thought there was no turning back. So I made two and a half packages of spaghetti to go with the sauce, what was left in the pantry. And then everything just kept getting bigger and I had more spaghetti than sauce…. so I added another jar of sauce and a whole package of beef to “even it out”.

At this point I’m very stressed. Something doesn’t feel right, I’m usually much more “with it” when I’m stoned. I go back to the room and look at the package. I realized I forgot what I had bought the other day. I’ve just taken a 10mg edible after using 2.5s for like a whole year. So now I’m stoned with an alarming amount of spaghetti.

Also, for context I live with my partner in a tiny apartment. It’s just two people here — AND we both get lunch taken care of at work, so our grocery/meal prepping needs are low. And I just cleared out our pantry of sauce and pasta. This is more spaghetti than I have Tupperware for, let alone space in our fridge. It’s only 8 on a Friday, a fried was going to pick me up to hang out in like an hour, but I think I’m gonna cancel bc I’m so stressed about this spaghetti and I’m so unbelievably stoned that I can barely function

TLDR: accidentally quadruple dosed myself with an edible myself and made an insane amount of spaghetti. Now i have more mid spaghetti than i have Tupperware for, no space left in my fridge, and am out of groceries.