Today I Fucked Up

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r/TIFU means Today I Fucked Up.

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This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Educational-Phase102 on 2026-02-15 21:23:03+00:00.


This happened a little while ago, but it hasn't left my mind.

I (18 F) have always been a science nerd, so I'm pretty close with my high school science teachers since I've had some of them more than once (honors courses to AP). When I was a junior, I took AP Physics 1, and I had a fun, amazing teacher (calling him Mr. Smith). He had a coffee machine in the back of his classroom that he let us use whenever we wanted, and it had a pair of googly eyes on it, so it kind of resembled a silly face.

He told us a story about why it had googly eyes: He once pranked his wife by putting googly eyes on everything in their kitchen. Super fun and silly, obviously harmless. I thought it was a cute way to prank someone.

Now it's my senior year, and I'm taking AP Physics C with my old teacher, and he mentions the story again, and I was inspired to prank my favorite teacher (Mrs. Miller), who was the chemistry teacher.

I had this teacher every year for the three years I was at my high school (I moved there before my sophomore year), and she made me fall in love with chemistry. I enjoyed the content, and I always did phenomenal in the chemistry courses. During my final semester, instead of a traditional 3rd block, I did a "work-study" with her, but in reality, I just had a free period and I would sit in her class for two hours until I had to go to Mr. Smith's class for my final block.

I came up with a plan to prank her my putting googly eyes on random things in her classroom, and I recruited three of my friends and Mr. Smith to help me pull it off. He came and told us when she stepped out of her classroom, and said she wouldn't be back for 10-15 minutes. During this time, we starting googly-eyeing everything we could. Eventually, Mr. Smith came back and said she would be back any minute, so two of my friends left. The only people left in the classroom were me and my friend, Austin, because we wanted to see her reaction to our prank.

This is where it gets bad fast...

I decided to set up my phone to record her reaction because I thought it would be funny. Austin and I crouched behind a lab bench to surprise her after she saw everything. Eventually, she comes back in with another teacher, and they're gossiping about another teacher. I knew the rumor they were discussing because it went around the entire student body. The "rumor" was about how another teacher was having an inappropriate relationship with a student, and there were certain pictures involved.

By the time we realized what was happening, it was too late to jump up and tell them we were hiding in there. We had to sit behind the bench for around 10 minutes while they discussed the whole thing. Mind you, my phone is STILL recording. I'm panicking and covering my ears because I felt so guilty eavesdropping on their conversation and literally recording the entire thing.

I knew Mrs. Miller had an appointment, so she would be leaving before our last block and decided to sit and wait it out. Eventually, she left (didn't even see our prank) and Austin bolted out the back door because he had to get back to his actual class. She saw him in the hallway, and got suspicious as to why he was there. She figured out he was in the room, and went to Mr. Smith and our biology teacher, Mrs. Wood crying because she felt terrible for gossiping and was embarrassed he heard the conversation. At this point, she did not know I was also in the room.

After she actually left, I ran to Mr. Smith and told him everything. I told him we got stuck and recorded the entire conversation. Obviously, I deleted the video because I absolutely did not want anyone's career to be jeopardized because of a stupid prank. Him and Mrs. Wood said they would talk to her and explain everything since they knew I had no bad intentions.

I ended up skipping school the following day because I was too afraid to face Mrs. Miller. She was my favorite teacher, and I hated the idea that she wouldn't like me anymore because I fucked up SO bad. When I went back, the first thing I did was go to Mrs. Wood and ask her to come with me to the chemistry classroom to talk to Mrs. Miller. She gave me a hug and walked me down, and when I saw Mrs. Miller, I burst into tears and started apologizing profusely. She felt so bad that I was so upset over it, and said she saw our prank the next morning, and it did make her laugh. She mainly felt bad because she thought she was setting a bad example for us by gossiping (like girl be real LOL as if we all don't), and she was not mad at me at all.

Everything was fine afterwards, and we all completely forgot about the situation. I probably won't be pranking anyone else for a long time.

TL;DR: I pranked my favorite teacher and wanted to record her reaction but ended up recording a gossip session that contained confidential information. We got everything sorted out and all is well.

302
 
 
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Desperate-Donkey on 2026-02-15 17:08:27+00:00.


I'm new at a job and sat somewhere on the first day to sit with my new team where they put me on a flex space. Then I sat there the next 7 days, I scooted 1 place because of HR and then another place. I was just doing my work but also sat opposite the director of the company. I didn't say anything to him besides good morning and good evening and put on music with earphones to not listen in to anything. Then there was a standard meeting with HR for new personell. She was being really cold to me and nice to the other person. She then told me that I drove her from her place and asked me what I was doing. I had no idea this was going on. I was also a bit informal with my new manager (dumb joke) so he was also a bit cold. I really hate this situation. I am going to sit somewhere else and act professional and if nothing happened. In 5 workdays I have my first month evaluation so I hope with my corrections I can repare the damage. Just say "better not sit there please" but they told me several times you can sit anywhere except on the directors spot.

TL;DR Without thinking sat on flex places where normally HR and management sat and got the cold shoulder.

Update: Everybody thanks for the kind words and advice. I was already thinking about quitting this weekend because this was my worst start ever. I also haven't worked in a while because of a burnout and this job means a lot to me to get back on track.

303
 
 
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Mathio_Albero on 2026-02-15 16:22:04+00:00.


This happened yesterday and my ego is still in shambles.

For context, me(23M) and my gf(23F) met at Dallas but both are not from here.

After being perfect boyfriend for nearly a year the time to meet her family has come and i flew into Albuquerque where she grew up. She told me many times that it'd be a big deal, i just never understood how bif of a deal it really was.

Her dad is one of those old school types who you often see in movies. Firm handshake. Eye contact that feels like a job interview.

We land, he picks us up in this old dusty Ford truck(of course manual)

On the drive back he starts talking about how kids these days cannot drive real cars. I laugh and say yeah thats wild. He looks at me and goes you can drive stick, right?

Now here is the thing. Ive watched YouTube videos. I understand the concept. Clutch, shift, gas. Easy. In theory. So I say yeah, I got it, and i couldnt be more wrong.

Halfway home he pulls over and says tha its my turn. I get in the driver seat already sweating through my shirt. I stall it immediately.

He nods slowly. Says ease off the clutch slower. I try again. Stall. Third time I get it moving but I rev the engine like Im trying to wake up the whole Albuquerque. The truck lurches forward and i almost take out smbd mailbox.

My girlfriend is in the passenger seat trying not to laugh. I can see her shoulders shaking.

Then comes the hill. A small one. But to me it might as well have been Everest. I panic and forget everything. The truck rolls back a little and he has to yank the handbrake. He calmly says maybe let me handle it.

We switch seats. He drives the rest of the way in silence.

At dinner he tells the whole family about man with no practical skills. I keep smiling like it was funny but inside I wanted to evaporate.

This morning he asked if I want a lesson tomorrow. I said yes because apparently I enjoy suffering and i still want to date his daughter.

TL;DR: I lied about knowing how to drive on manual to impress my girlfriend’s dad and instead confirmed every stereotype he has about me.

304
 
 
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Malko_Fishirs on 2026-02-15 14:29:52+00:00.


So this actually happened today, and I’m still mentally replaying it while cringing.

I was walking into a small grocery store near my place. It wasn’t crowded, just a few people scattered around. As I grabbed a basket, I noticed a guy near the entrance smiling and waving directly at me. Like, full eye contact, hand up, friendly wave. Naturally, I smiled back and gave him an enthusiastic wave too. Not just a subtle one. A confident, “oh hey, I know you!” type of wave.

He immediately looked confused.

That’s when I heard, from behind me, “Hey!!” in a much more familiar tone. I slowly turned around and saw a woman rushing toward him, clearly the intended recipient of the wave. I was standing directly in her line of sight, perfectly blocking her from him. He had been waving at her the entire time.

The worst part? We were all now standing within two feet of each other. There was no pretending it didn’t happen. I awkwardly lowered my hand and mumbled something that sounded like “sorry” but probably came out as a dying breath. The woman looked at me like I had just tried to steal her friend mid-greeting.

I then had to shop in the same tiny store for the next 10 minutes, periodically making accidental eye contact with both of them in different aisles.

I’m considering changing grocery stores.

TL;DR: Thought a stranger was waving at me, waved back enthusiastically, realized he was greeting someone behind me, had to continue shopping in shame.

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This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/MaryM_Guidry on 2026-02-15 09:51:38+00:00.


so this started in a laundromat in El Paso, Texas because apparently I cannot just shut up and exist like a normal person.

This girl walks in like absolute 10, starts arguing on the phone in rapid spanish. I catch like three words total but I recognize the vibe. Family drama. She hangs up looks stressed. I, being an idiot with hero syndrome, say something like sounds intense.

She switches to eng, laughs, says yeah my mom is dramatic. Then she asks, wait do you speak Spanish?

And for some reason my brain goes yes.

I do not.

I took two semesters in high school. I can order tacos and ask where the bathroom is. That is it.

She lights up. Says finally, someone who gets it. We start talking. I keep it vague. nodding. Throwing in random words like claro and si entiendo. She seems impressed that I can keep up.

We exchange numbers.

Fast forward two weeks. We have been texting. I use chatgpt like it is life support. I copy paste voice notes into apps to figure out what she is saying. It is exhausting but she is amazing so I keep the lie alive

Last night she tells me her parents want to meet me on tuesday for dinner. Full family. Mostly Spanish speakers. She says it will be so nice to not have to translate for once.

My stomach dropped straight to hell.

I tried to gently say I am a little rusty. She laughs and says do not worry you are doing great.

I am not doing great. I am committing cultural fraud

I spent last night trying to speed run spanish on yt like I have an exam tomorrow. My search history is how to survive dinner in spanish and common phrases to impress mexican parents

I could come clean I know that but now it feels worse because I doubled down for two weeks. she keeps telling her cousins how cool it is that I speak spanish.

Tuesday is in 48 hours

TL;DR: told a girl I speak fluent spanish to impress her, have been secretly using translation apps and AI for two weeks now I am invited to a family dinner where nobody speaks eng and I am absolutely cooked

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This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/CatDaddyAnonymous on 2026-02-15 00:25:23+00:00.


I had a coworker that I'll call Cody for this post.

Cody and I worked together for a little over a year in an office setting and had lots of downtime to be able to talk. We would chat about everyday things, but majority of the time the topic of women and dating came up and he started to ask me for advice surrounding this subject. He would ask for tips regarding his confidence, how to better talk to women, and get around the inability to get a second date etc.

I would give him the normal advice like, approach situations with confidence, treat women like they are people and not just someone you're trying to get off with, and start working on yourself.

He started going to therapy, eating better, and hitting the gym over that year we worked together and began having better dates with the women he matched with on dating apps. I started to notice red flags when he decided to take a trip across the country and visit, "the one that got away." I asked him about how the trip went when he got back and he said that she had blocked him after he waited outside of her work, having tracked her on Snapchat maps. He didn't take the hint the first time she rejected him at his workplace and then decided to show up at her house. When he got to her house, a shirtless man answered the door and told him to fuck off.

After telling me all this I told him he needed to let this go before he started falling into harassment and stalking charges. I let him know that this wasn't a healthy way of going about finding someone and as far as I know he dropped it after a few more months of switching phones trying to text her and more pressure from me and other coworkers to drop it.

He started telling me that he was matching with more women on dating apps in a town an hour away from where we lived and would drive over there in the evenings after work and come back to town in the morning to get ready for work. He was doing this a few times a week and seemed pretty happy. I really didn't think anything about it and congratulated him on the newfound confidence and dates.

That was until he left our section of our workplace and started working in another area within the same company. We all get called into a meeting one morning being told that Cody was no longer allowed to access our section and if we saw anything suspicious to let a higher-up know right away. When we asked our management what was going on, they wouldn't elaborate further and left it at that. So another coworker and I got curious and decided to just look up Cody's name online. We ended up finding an article about a police sting involving Cody and multiple other individuals. Law enforcement had posed as underage girls as young as 14 years old to lure in predators. Cody had sent lewd pictures in this sting and drove up to the town to meet with who he assumed was a minor. The very same town he told me was constantly going to after matching with all these women on dating apps.

Cody was eventually removed from our workplace and arrested on charges surrounding the sting. He is currently in prison for 2 years, but may be awaiting another court date due to a hit and run that happened while he was awaiting the previous trial for the sex offender charges.

I know that I shouldn't necessarily blame myself because he was the predator and decided to do what he did, but I can't help but think that all that time spent giving him advice, I was basically giving him the confidence to meet with minors. Not to mention all the times he was going out of town prior to the sting operation. Was he actually meeting with underage girls that whole time? It just makes me sick to my stomach most days and I don't always cope with it very well.

TL;DR: Worked with a guy for a little over a year and gave him dating advice. He was later removed from our section and arrested for attempts to meet with a minor, leaving me to believe I gave him the confidence to go through with being a predator.

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This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/XcracktivitiesX on 2026-02-14 21:30:17+00:00.


So , since early December , my grandma has been a resident at the local nursing and rehab home. Honestly , it's less of a medical center and more of a departure lounge for the ' Great Beyond ' and the gossip there is top tier. Thankfully for us , the place is located quite literally right across the street from my house. My commute there is approximately fourty-five seconds if im walking. Because of the geographic convenience , ive been visiting her every day for the last two months. Ive become such a fixture in that building that im basically the facility's emotional support human , minus the uniform and credentials and I have significantly more existential dread than the rest of the employees.

In that time ive managed to socialize my way into the good graces of the entire ecosystem. Im tight with the doctors , the nurses , aides and a rotating cast of residents who are all charmingly one foot in the grave already.

Now you think a nursing home would be a place of peace and tranquility. Instead though , this place is run like a maximum security prison for people who remember when bread was a nickel. The staff are all a bunch of fun suckers. They're a collection of self important power trippers who seem to have been recruited directly from a " How To Be A Buzzkill " seminar. Their favorite pastime is enforcing bogus ass rules with the kind of smug intensity usually reserved for TSA agents finding a 3.1 ounce bottle of shampoo.

Let's face it , most of the residents they house have lungs that are 80% tar and 20% stubbornness at this point. They're allowed to have cigarettes but are forced to surrender their packs and lighters to the front security desk. The guards distribute them only when they feel like it and usually with a side of bitchy attitude. It's infantilizing. These people are grown ass adults. Most have survived world wars and recessions yet they cant be trusted with a damn Bic ?

Because im there everyday , most of my resident friends trust me. Most of these poor souls spend 23 hours a day staring at a fuzzy TV screen and waiting on a tray of ice cold beige mush. More than half of them havent seen or had a visitor from a family member or friend in years. If a cigarette is the only thing that makes them feel alive while they wait out their end of days then who am I to deny them that happiness ? So , ive been running an underground ' Nicotine Railroad ' sneaking packs into rooms and hiding them.

Word of my courier services spread thru the ward faster than a rumor about a prune juice shortage. A few days ago , my other resident friends , we'll call them Mr. W and Mr. G , cornered me. At first it was the usual request , a pack of cigs and a vape. They paid me my standard hustle fee , just a couple bucks because honestly their SSI checks are mostly made of lint and optimism and im not a monster. I made the run to the gas station , delivered back and thought we were square until they instantly propositioned me again with another errand.

Between the two of them they slapped $40 in my hand as payment and asked me to run to the liquor store. In nursing home currency that's basically a small fortune. Now look , im an entrepreneur and im a sucker for easy money so I , of course , happily obliged. For the last three days in a row now though ive been smuggling in booze to these two men and you wanna know what the real kicker of this whole situation is though ?

I just found out that Mr. W and Mr. G arent just thirsty and tryna have fun ; they're both recovering alcoholics and ive made them relapse.

I feel like a massive piece of shit but on the other hand . . . fourty bucks is fourty bucks.

TL;DR: Started out smuggling cigarettes into a nursing home for the elderly out of the kindness of my heart. Ended up as a cut-rate cartel mule for two recovering alcoholic grandpas who are paying me handsomely to help them see double before they see God.

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This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Geraldine-Doyle on 2026-02-15 02:21:22+00:00.


it was 2 am and here i am sitting in my undies on the balcony cuz for some reason, apparently, i am now unable to sleep till it hits 4 am. idk whether its my phone, doomscrolling or whatever, but i just cant get rid of this insomnia for some reason, whatev.

so, hre i am, doomscrolling on my phone, watching those ai slop videos of diddy and trump having a baby ot smthing, when i hear this nasty ass crying sound. it was like a baby, but much much worse. i look down and see this fluffy orange cat stuck on the ledge between floors, doing that fucking yowl

im not even a cat person. not even an animals person tbf. im just a guilt ridden idiot.i knock on the neighbor’s door below me, no answer. i knock on the one above, no answer. i call out like pspspsps like a stupid clown, cat just screams louder.

my brain goes full hero mode. i decide im gonna grab him before he falls. my balcony has this janky divider and i can kinda climb over to the next one if im careful enough. i throw on sweatpants, no shirt, grab my phone flashlight, and i start doing this shitty parkour between balconies.

i manage to reach the cat, and hes terrified but lets me scoop him. im like yes, saved, im basically a disney prince, whatev. then the cat freaks out and pisses on my chest. not a little. like lets out a full bladder of warm stinky gratitude. i nearly drop him. i grab him tighter, he scratches my arm, blood starts dripping, im slipping on cat pee, and my phone flashlight falls and clatters two floors down.

i panic and just go with the closest open door, which is the neighbors balcony door. its unlocked. i step inside holding this cat like a hostage, shirtless, bleeding, reeking of piss, and im yelling hello, i found your cat, please dont call the cops.

and then the neighbor wakes up and screams because from her angle it looks like a half naked guy broke in and stole her cat. she starts blasting me with a broom. i try to explain but i sound like a drunk crackhead. the cat leaps out of my arms, runs through her living room, knocks over a lamp, and disappears under her couch.

now her husband is up, hes yelling, another neighbor comes out, someone starts filming, and im standing there in the doorway with scratches and pee and blood, trying to be like no i swear i’m not robbing you, i’m just stupid.

they didnt actually believe me till the actual cat owner from two floors up runs down crying, recognizes the cat nder the couch and thanks me dearly. great, except now im the guy who breaks into apartments soaked in cat piss

TL;DR: heard a cat crying on a ledge, tried to rescue it by climbing balconies, got pissed on and scratched, stumbled into an unlocked neighbor’s apartment holding the cat, got attacked with a broom

309
 
 
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Springtronic315 on 2026-02-15 00:17:33+00:00.


(This happened yesterday but I figured i’d share anyways.)

I got my wisdom teeth out yesterday, all four (two top, two bottom) with the two on the bottoms being entirely impacted (sideways.) Recovery has gone great so far and i’m already back to eating soft foods like eggs, ice cream and smoothies. I have my follow up appointment on monday.

While I was still coming down from anesthesia my mom was driving me home and I decided to email my teachers. I rember the email being far more coherent than what it actually was, as when I read it back this morning I am mortified by what I wrote. Not only did I send this email to my Humanties, Photography, German and Criminal Justice teacher, I sent this to the school resource officer as well.

The email reads as follows:

the suregtey went well and i'm done!!!! i'll see you back in class on wednesdha I love you guys I just wanted to say youre awesome teachers im i'm sorry that im gonna leave you when I graduate but you guyst are awesome and I love you guys and im sorey im annoying at timesthats my fault I apologize. you guys are awesome and I love you guys as my teacherss

im sending this message to officer blanchard too hi offocer blacjard youre very cool and youre funny and remind me of another older brother I get to have. but at schol youre awesome andkn toy for being cool im drugged as hell rn see you later bro aphid versus brocwphus a

I cannot imagine the talks im going to get from my teachers when I return to school Wendesay, and i’m positive I will NEVER hear the end of this.

TL;DR I sent an email to my teachers and school resource officer still high on anesthetic telling them I loved them, was going to miss them after graduation and was “drugged as hell rn”

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This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Item_Store on 2026-02-14 23:35:20+00:00.


My family and I are on the last day of a cruise to the ABC islands in the very southern Caribbean. We had a stop in Aruba on Wednesday, during which we spent a lot of time at the beach.

I was expecting to get sunburnt, which is not abnormal for me, and I applied a borderline-ridiculous amount of SPF 50 before enjoying the water. By the end of the day, I was unsurprisingly burnt, but it seemed manageable. No blisters or anything, just red and tender back/shoulders.

The next 2 days were fine. Some discomfort, but totally livable. Towards the end of day 2, it was time to shower, so I did so and hopped out to dry off. This was mistake #1.

Suddenly, all over my back/shoulders/arms, I felt the most intense itching and pain I've ever experienced. Like someone had white-hot push pins and was playing whack-a-mole with my hair follicles at the speed of a jackhammer. I crumpled to the ground, writhing in agony and unable to speak, at which point my wife suggested putting on aloe vera. We did so, which was mistake #2.

Now, the itching doubles or triples or quadruples- I can't really tell because I couldn't think straight let alone communicate what I was feeling. In addition, my back also felt like someone poured acid on it. Complete agony.

This persists for probably 6 hours, during which I did a combination of grunt, scream, pace, take scalding hot showers to overwhelm my nerves, and consider jumping overboard to end it all. I've had multiple kidney stones and would take all of them again, simultaneously, over this experience.

I'm now at a stage where I still have frequent pins and needles, but I can talk and sit relatively still. After researching what happened to me, I learned of "Hell's Itch", which is a rare neurological reaction some people have to excessive UV light exposure. Guess what the most common trigger is? A shower ~48 hours after the exposure. Guess what the worst thing you can do to relieve it is? Apply aloe vera to the burn site.

Tomorrow I have about 16 hours of travel to do, and all I can do is pray that it doesn't flare up. I'm doped up on everything you're supposed to be to treat it (except for a supplement called beta-alanine, which I do not have access to) and perpetually terrified of being in the sun ever again. This incident has absolutely left a mark on my psyche.

TL;DR: I got sunburnt, took a shower, experienced the worst pain I've ever experienced (Hell's Itch), and will never go in the sun ever again.

311
 
 
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/DudeWheresMyCuteCar on 2026-02-14 16:45:14+00:00.


My ex gf invited me to her wedding. It was unexpected, but I accepted. The invitation said the people who were allowed to bring a plus one were married or engaged couples. I was not engaged or married, so I went alone. I managed to couple up with another single guy at the wedding and stayed with him throughout the ceremony to avoid looking like I didn't belong. The two of us got separated at the reception because we were allocated to different tables. My table only had single people. As we got to know one another, we realised we had one specific thing in common. We were all exes of the bride. It was a little weird, but we made a joke of it because we assumed that was the point of us being there.

Fast forward to the speeches. When it was the bride's turn to speak, she asked all of her exes to stand up, which we did. She informed the audience that we were the people she dated and disappointed over the years before she discovered the love of her life, aka her husband. She wanted us to know how grateful she was to have been with all of us, but then she locked eyes with me and said maybe not ALL of us. She said my name and asked me to wave at everyone. I waved like an idiot. She warned all the women at the wedding to watch out for me because I literally peed on her. The husband stood up at that moment and covered the microphone with his hand while he whispered something to his wife that made her look confused as fuck.

The bride sat down without saying anything else. The husband made an awkward joke about his wife having too much champagne and instructed us to please take our seats. The DJ intervened and asked if any of the groom's exes were also in the house, which actually made the audience laugh. The music played and everyone pretended none of that just happened.

Except for me. I got the fuck out of there as soon as the lights dimmed for the disco ball.

Tl:dr Accepted an invite from my ex to attend her wedding and ended up being named and shamed at the reception.

312
 
 
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/endeekiller37 on 2026-02-14 13:13:24+00:00.


Apparently red meat is hard to digest... I'm learning the hard way.

Ok, this started technically yesterday, I started my cycle and remembered I hadn't put any iron supplements on my grocery list, so instead of adding it on like a normal person I decided I'd replace yesterdays supplement with a 2.3lbs ribeye steak. I didn't even read the damn thing, just saw the 18 dollar steak and added it to my cart. I didn't realize how big it was until the delivery guy handed it off to me. I was a nervous, nobody expects to see a fat ass slab of meat but I was determined to cure my anemia for the next month with this large steak. I cook it (it was my first time tackling such a daunting task) and it turned out good with some mashed potatoes on the side. Solid dinner, right?

So fast forward, I took a little vitamin c gummy because my grandma said it helped with better iron absorption (this is probably unrelated but just in case that's actually the cause I'm adding it) and I'd need while I'm on my cycle. Everything was going great until about 2:30 in the morning. Because that's when I started feeling bloated and my stomach cramped. I thought it would pass but it's currently 7:05 and I'm pretty much on payroll with the damn toilet. I went to Google (probably not my best option but it seemed too embarrassing to go ask my family about it. And apparently I overwhelmed my digestive tract with all the meat I ate, not to mention the protein and iron (Wich I thought was good to have in abundance but my stomach loudly disagrees.also, I learned what "protein farts" are and they are NOT plesant at all. Neither are meat sweats😭😭

So I guess I'm writing this because I hope someone at least gets a laugh out of this. I'm hoping I'll be doing the same in the next few hours

TL;DR: ate two pounds of steak in one sitting, single handedly fucked my digestive system and is currently glued to the toilet regretting every life choice that led up to this... Just buy the damn supplement and not a steak bigger than your head, your stomach will thank you... Lmao

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This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Sensitive_Still2091 on 2026-02-14 07:56:30+00:00.


So I'm 19 and started this job a few months back. I've been getting along pretty well with most people—everyone's cool, mostly mid-20s to 30s, and a lot more put-together than me. Some of them do these casual gym hangouts after shifts, just a few guys going together. I wanted to actually hang out outside work and not just be the quiet new kid, so when they asked if I wanted to come last week, I said yeah.

It ended up being me, two coworkers a bit older than me, and one of the managers (he's chill). I was doing alright through the workout. Hit some pretty solid sets. Near the end I said I had one more thing to do and stepped away for a sec.

When I came back, one of the guys was on the mat doing sit-ups with the other one holding a spare t-shirt over his eyes to cover them. The guy on the ground goes, "These are called ab crushers, man—super intense, not a lot of people can even finish one." They're both kinda jacked, so I figured it was legit. No reason to doubt it.

They wrap up and told me I should try it because it was hard but brutal for your core strength. I'm trying to vibe with them and not look like the baby of the group, so I go for it. They set me up on the mat, lay the t-shirt over my eyes to "block distractions," and start hyping me up.

I'm grinding, shoulders coming off the ground, feeling like I'm actually doing something impressive. Then they yank the t-shirt off right as I get up there, and with that momentum my face goes straight into the manager's bare ass. Like, full-on between the cheeks. I snapped backwards but it was too late. 

They all lost it laughing, slapping hands like it was the funniest thing ever. I just laughed it off and tried to act normal for the rest of the time there, then bounced.

But now I'm stressing because this is exactly the kind of dumb story that spreads at work. By next shift everyone's gonna know some version of "the new guy's face was in the manager's ass during ab crushers." I don't want to be the gullible kid forever, or the butt of the joke guy at every team thing.

Anyone been through something like this? How bad does it actually get workplaces, or does it just die after a week? I’m lowkey dreading tomorrow.

TL;DR: Tried to impress coworkers with a fake "ab crushers" exercise. Face-planted into manager's bare ass. Now worried it'll turn into permanent workplace lore.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/endnuenhestekost on 2026-02-14 09:20:03+00:00.


Came out of the store after like 15 minutes and walked back to where I was sure I parked, but my car just wasn’t there, completely gone. Instant panic set in. I started walking around the lot hitting the lock button on my key fob over and over trying to hear the beep or see the lights flash, but nothing happened. At that point I was fully convinced it had been stolen and my brain immediately jumped to worst case scenarios like calling insurance, filing a report, and basically accepting that my whole day was about to be ruined. I spent a solid 10 minutes speed-walking through every row scanning for it, probably looking stressed and suspicious to everyone around me. Then I finally heard a faint beep coming from two rows over. Turns out I parked in a completely different spot and just forgot, and the bunch of similar-looking cars threw me off. So my car was never stolen, I just panicked and wandered around the parking lot for no reason while people watched me lose my mind. I swear those 10 minutes aged me like five years.

TL;DR: Thought my car got stolen, turns out I just forgot where I parked like an idiot.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/firebugg333 on 2026-02-14 04:34:38+00:00.


TIFU on my last day at my job as a dental assistant.

I walked into a mess to begin with this morning. The other assistant had accidentally left the water running in our lab, and caused a huge flood. Everything was just freshly remodeled, and they still hadn't put up the kick boards under the counters yet, leaving the particle board at the bottom exposed.

Doctor came in right as I did and was BIG MAD, worried that the water would soak into the particle board and cause expansion/warping. He and I quickly set to work cleaning up the mess. Water was EVERY WHERE; dripping from the counters, down the fronts of the cabinets, on the floor, under the space beneath, and even INSIDE the cupboards.

i moved the supplies from inside the cupboards, grabbed a towel and dropped to the floor next to him to mop up as much water as possible. I was mopping off the cabinets while he was painstakingly slipping paper towel into the cracks between the floor and cabinets to get the water from underneath. The seething irritation from him was palpable.

I noticed some water on the cabinet door and quickly went to wipe it away without thinking about the direction that the doors swing... and hit the doctor directly in the head with the cabinet door. He froze, (I swear I saw steam come out of his ears) and I did what any mature, professional, sophisticated adult would: burst into laughter while apologizing profusely.

Needless to say, he did NOT find any humor in this. Nor could he have any appreciation for the perfect "BONK!" noise the door made as it made contact with the side of his head. I attempted a joke by saying, "Well, at least it's the last time you'll ever have to deal with my clumsiness. Aren't you going to miss me?!"

His grunt in reply told me I made the right choice in quitting.

TL;DR: On my last day at my job, I hit my boss in the head with a cupboard door when he was already irritated. The perfect "bonk!" noise it made will forever live rent-free in my mind.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/vamptres on 2026-02-14 02:24:13+00:00.


I love dark lipstick black, brown, plum, or navy (harder to find tbh). But for some reason all the lipsticks I've found don't last or are sticky but I still try out some. Well I was at walmart and found a beautiful brown lipstick on clearance and I wore it and it was perfect not sticky lasted for 14 hours only coming off a little when i eat i love it. So I live in a rural area and there are almost no POC so makeup in the darker shades get marked down often when there are low sales anyway I digress. My spouse went to their sister's and got some makeup one of which was my new lipstick in a very pale skin tone color and I was confused why they would make a lipstick in that shade turns out my new favorite lipstick is concealer for someone with dark complexion not lipstick.

TL;DR i bought a discount lipstick in the perfect shade turns out it concealer and now I feel really dumb for bragging to everyone I know.

317
 
 
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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Brandi_C_Knight on 2026-02-13 22:41:40+00:00.


SO this technically started three days ago but the explosion happende today and i am currently sitting in my car outside my apartment because I don’t want to go inside yet

my roommate forgets to send me his half of bills every single month. It’s always oops my bad I’ll get you Friday and then Friday becomes next week and then I’m basically floating 150 to 300 bucks until he feels like remembering. I’ve tried being chill about it. I’ve tried reminders. I’ve tried a shared spreadsheet. Nothing sticks.

Anyway this week he asks if I can drive us to a concert because his car is “acting weird.” I already know what that means. It means empty tank and a mysterious dashboard light he’s ignoring.

I say sure but you’re covering gas. He says obviously. We drive 45 minutes. Park. Have a good time. He buys $60 merch but whatever that’s his money I guess. On the way home I glance at the fuel gauge and yeah I’m lower than I thought.

I pull into a gas station and say hey can you tap your card. He pats his pockets. Laughs. Says he left his wallet at the apartment. I just stare at him. He says it’s fine you can just do it and I’ll send you the money.

Here is where I messed up.Instead of just paying and arguing later like a normal person I decided to “teach him a lesson.” I say okay cool and I get back on the highway without filling up. He’s like aren’t you getting gas and I’m like nah it’s fine.

It was not fine.

About ten minutes later my car starts doing that little sputter thing. He’s quiet. I’m pretending it’s still fine. It is not fine. We roll to a dramatic stop on the shoulder at nearly 11:40 pm. Now we are stuck. On the side of the highway. In the cold. With cars blasting past us. And guess who suddenly remembers his wallet is in fact in his other jacket.

We had to call his sister. HIS SISTER. To bring gas. She shows up furious because she has work at 6 am. While were waiting he tries to joke about it and I just lose it. I tell him I’m done fronting him money for anything. No more bills float. No more covering tickets. Nothing

we get home and hes saying I overreacted and that running out of gas to make a point was childish. He says I put us in danger. Which… yeah. I kind of did. Now he’s sulking and saying I embarrassed him in front of his sister.

I feel stupid rn because I absolutely could have just put 20 bucks in the tank and dealt with it later.

TL;DR: refused to front gas money for my roommate to teach him a lesson, ended up stranding us both on the highway at midnight till his furious sister had to come rescue us

318
 
 
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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/bbysophy on 2026-02-13 17:58:36+00:00.


I recently switched to a menstrual cup to be more eco-friendly. I’m still a "novice" at the removal process. Last night, I was on a third date with a guy I really, really like. We went back to his place to watch a movie.

I went to the bathroom to "freshen up," and that’s when the panic set in. The cup had migrated. Not only that, but it had created a vacuum seal that felt like it was fused to my actual soul. I pulled. Nothing. I tried the "squat" technique I saw on TikTok. Nothing. I was in there so long that the "motion-sensor" lights in his fancy bathroom turned off, leaving me naked and struggling in the pitch black.

I spent 45 minutes in there. He eventually knocked on the door and asked, "Hey, are you okay? Or did you fall in?" I had to lie and say I was "having a stomach thing" while I was silently doing a deep-dive manual extraction. When I finally broke the seal, it made a sound exactly like a plunger hitting a wet floor. It was so loud he definitely heard it through the door. I walked out dripping in sweat, looking like I’d just run a marathon. He hasn't texted me back.

TL;DR: Got a menstrual cup vacuum-sealed to my internal organs during a date; spent 45 minutes "wrestling" myself in the dark while my date listened to the sound effects through the door.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/chao-cha0 on 2026-02-13 12:00:52+00:00.


Hey yall, as the title states, I did not taper off my medication and now I’m facing the consequences.

I started taking Paroxetine 10mg around 6 months ago for depression and anxiety. This was the first SSRI I have ever tried. But after months of taking it, I started having suicidal thoughts that would increase day by day to the point of distress. At the time I realized, I had started another antidepressant as well (Elavil 10mg), but I hadn’t taken it for that long, maybe a month at most. I contacted my doctor who manages my medication and she let me know to stop taking both medications. She never mentioned any other instructions, but I know exactly how horrible stopping Paroxetine can be, and I STILL decided to stop cold turkey anyway instead of creating my own tapering schedule. I am now days into stopping the medication, and I have felt the absolute worst feelings physically and emotionally. Now I constantly wake up drenched in sweat, nauseous to the point of barely eating, my anxiety has gotten so much worse (uncontrollable anger + crying, anxiety attacks), fatigue, feeling lightheaded… and so much more. The problem is, I’m too far into stopping the medication that I can’t just take it again to relieve myself, as it can cause adverse effects. The only thing that I can do is just try to keep going dealing with these symptoms. Not only has this affected me, but it’s affecting my household too. So far, I have lashed out on everyone for very minor things and I regret it so much. I can tell that I am stressing everyone out with how I can’t deal with my emotions. To top it all off, the symptoms that I am experiencing are the MILD SYMPTOMS! I really fucked myself over for making a stupid decision, and I regret everything. I just want to go back in time to just fix it all.

TL;DR: I cold turkeyed Paroxetine instead of tapering and I completely ruined my life and can’t retake it, so I have to thug it out.

320
 
 
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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/lavenderbbygirl on 2026-02-13 19:03:01+00:00.


I wanted my lashes to be "unshakeable." I bought a glue used by drag queens—literally "the stuff that stays on through a hurricane." I applied my lashes and went to a rooftop bar for a first date.

The wind was insane. About twenty minutes in, a huge gust hit us. The glue was so strong that the lash didn't fly off; instead, it acted like a tiny sail. It pulled my actual eyelid upward and stayed there. I couldn't blink my left eye. My eyelid was literally stuck in a "perma-wink" position.

I spent the rest of the date trying to look "mysterious" while my left eye was wide open and watering uncontrollably. My date asked if I was "having a stroke." When I got home, it took three different types of oil and two hours of crying to get them off. I lost nearly all my natural lashes on that eye.

TL;DR: Used glue that was too strong; a gust of wind turned my fake lashes into a sail and pinned my eyelid open for the duration of a first date.

321
 
 
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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/ciciShea on 2026-02-13 18:29:09+00:00.


I was invited to be a "background student" for a famous yoga influencer’s new YouTube series. I wore my "cute" black leggings. Under normal lighting, they look fine. Under the 50,000-watt studio lights they use for filming, they were basically a window.

We were doing "Downward Dog" for about 10 minutes. I was feeling great, really "in the zone." After the take, the cameraman (a guy in his 20s) looked at the floor and refused to make eye contact. The influencer pulled me aside and whispered, "Hey, just so you know... the camera can see your exact brand of underwear and your birthmark. We have to reshoot the whole segment."

I had to put on a pair of borrowed, sweaty "loaner" shorts over my leggings. I am now forever immortalized in the "Bloopers" reel as the girl whose leggings were essentially a screen door.

TL;DR: Wore transparent leggings to a high-def film shoot; gave the entire production crew a detailed anatomy lesson during Downward Dog.

322
 
 
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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Low_Gas2708 on 2026-02-13 16:35:11+00:00.


So for context I’m a male, 20 years old.

So last semester when it wasn’t as freezing as it’s been lately I was asleep in my dorm it was probably about 2 or 3 am. The fire alarm goes off and I completely panic. I was in a house fire situation when I was a kid and I’ve been freaked out by it since.

Anyway I’m scrambling and I put on a sweatshirt and run out the door without bothering anything else. The sweatshirt was hanging up by my bed so it was easy to grab and it already had my wallet and everything in it.

So I’m outside with everyone else now. I have the sweatshirt on but other than that no pants no socks no shoes no shirt. I’m just in the sweatshirt and the underwear that I wore to sleep. I immediately feel a little self-conscious because it seems like everyone else had time to put more clothes on.

I approach my RA asking how long she thinks we’ll be out here and she flips out at me. She says there’s no reason for me to be out here like that because these things are common and she says I should know it’s not an emergency and I could have put pants on. I’m mortified now and I take off my sweatshirt to wrap around my waist which makes me look like an idiot.

She ends up calling campus police over and they take down my information. They said they are not taking me down to the station but they are referring me to the university for disciplinary action and I should expect a call.

While I am anxious about it, in another post I’ve made on this account (check my profile) everyone has assured me it’ll work out. Either way, it’s an embarrassing screw up and I wanted to share.

TLDR: I sleep in my underwear and didn’t get dressed before a fire drill, my RA called the police on me

323
 
 
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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Gender-Ascender on 2026-02-13 04:24:47+00:00.


Okay so this wasn't actually today. This happened around 16/17 years ago. When I was 16/17 and in my first year of college (UK).

It was late morning, I had a break between classes and ended up sitting in a conversation with a few people I knew from my hometown. They all went to a different school to me before college but the same school as each other.

One of the girls in the group (lets call her Anna) I had known since we were toddlers. Our mams had been good friends so we had played together as very young kids.

But after around the age of 4 we moved to a different part of town and I never really saw her.

Meeting her again in college as young adults I was really attracted to her. We ended up talking one on one that day for a while after our mutual friends left and seemed to be getting on really well still despite never interacting since we were young.

Later on that day my phone pinged with a text from Anna saying something along the lines of "Hey forgot I had your number how're you doing?".

My heart leapt as I realised the girl I fancied had decided to keep up communication and I thought "Wow maybe this could go somewhere".

So I spent the rest of the afternoon slowly flirting with her via text until it seemed pretty clear we were both interested in each other.

At some point she mentioned that she had been invited to an awards evening for ex students of her school. But that none of her friends were supposed to be going so she wasn't sure she would bother since she had no one to go with.

I said something like "Hey, if you're getting an award then we gotta celebrate this so I'll come with you if that's allowed?"

We then agreed on meeting up in our town centre at the local supermarket to then walk over to this awards night.

As I walked down to the supermarket I was so excited. I had only had a couple of very brief, childish relationships up to that point. So the idea of having this film-like "Childhood sweethearts" type of reconnection and date was amazing to my theatre-kid brain.

She arrived before me and told me she was heading in to buy something real quick. I told her no problem and when I got there I waited outside at the door.

While I waited I did the usual people watching, then turned to look inside. As I did I saw, coming down the escalator, a girl that I very much was not attracted to (lovely person, just not my type) who I knew through mutual friends from a school in my hometown. She was called Anna.

I spotted her and thought "Oh hey there's Anna, haven't seen her in a while."

*Beat*

"OH DEAR GOD NO!" (Full on wide-eyed internal monologue moment)

Right then I realised my mistake, I genuinely have no idea when in the past I had exchanged numbers with this other Anna. But clearly as some point I did.

My first thought was "Run?" But I quickly realised I just couldn't do that. I knew if I was in her position and somebody I'd spent all day flirting with suddenly just disappeared, seconds after saying they'd meet up with me, it would fuck with my head forever. But I also knew that I couldn't tell her "Oh yeah I've been flirting with you all day cause I thought you were a totally different, more attractive Anna". Maybe I'm wrong but again if that was me I would be devastated to hear that haha.

So I stayed. Met up with her, gave her a hug and we set off to walk to this awards evening.

Luckily we were both nerdy, awkward teenagers. So being awkward around each other once we were face to face was no surprise. But eventually along the walk I couldn't handle it anymore and texted my dad telling him I fucked up and I needed him to call me asking me to come home.

My dad, being the legend he is, understood and called me saying I had to come home to babysit my little brother cause he forgot he and my mam had to go to an event.

I made a show of it, acting disappointed and fighting it a little before relenting. I apologised to her for having to leave after saying I'd go with her and that I would stay if I could. She understood, we hugged again and went our separate ways.

We had a brief text conversation after that, which died off pretty quickly and I have never seen her since.

As far as I know, to this day she has never known what actually happened that day.

Thanks for reading my story about my dumbass teenage self. xD

Sorry if the title seems misleading, but I couldn't think of a better way to briefly describe this stupid fucking situation I got myself in to.

TL;DR: I agreed to a date with the wrong girl by text, after confusing her with another girl with the same name, from the same town and school. She never found out (I think)

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Creeping_Blueberry on 2026-02-12 18:46:44+00:00.


This morning I received some edible glitter that I had bought for valentines day plans as well as for making alcoholic drinks look cool by adding some pizzazz. I took a small bottle of it with me to work because why not, while at work I noticed they had stocked new FIFA Coka-Cola. So a plan formed where I would add the edible glitter to the FIFA coke and try to convince my co-workers that it's a part of this super special FIFA edition coke. Imagine my shock when I popped the coke open, and added just a little bit of the glitter powder only for the Coke to immediately and violently start rejecting foam all over my desk and myself. Apparently it doesn't like the powder right out of the gate. so now my desk and myself are choices in incredibly fine glitter. jokes on me.

TL;DR: I added edible glitter powder to my coke to prank my co-workers and ended up pranking myself instead.

325
 
 
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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/cuphalfemptie on 2026-02-13 05:46:05+00:00.


I’m a ginger and my eyebrows are pretty light so i dye them auburn so they show up. I got a new brand and left the dye on too long because I got sucked into my game and honestly I was a little bit sloppy with the application because my usual brand doesn’t stain the skin…..yeah you can probably guess…..

The panic i felt trying to wipe them off and realize if this truly was the final result, and i had work in an hour. They were dark brown, thick and completely straight.

I looked like that one little red angry bird. My boyfriend said when i wear my glasses i look like eugene levy.

I try and fix it with makeup but there’s no covering it up, im screwed. I have to live this way. I have to go out and face the world looking like this.

I’m also a bartender, I’ve never gotten worse tips. But on the plus side people gave me plenty of space on the subway.

TLDR i dyed my eyebrows and now i look like an angry bird.

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