The Onion

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The Onion

A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.

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founded 3 years ago
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Hearse Driver Makes Small Talk With Corpse Riding In Back (www.theonion.com)
submitted 2 years ago by seahorse@midwest.social to c/theonion@midwest.social
2 comments fedilink
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Words Besides ‘Genocide’ U.S. News Outlets Use To Describe Genocide (www.theonion.com)
submitted 2 years ago by seahorse@midwest.social to c/theonion@midwest.social
2 comments fedilink
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The Top 20 Things to Fear When Your Uber Driver Is Playing "The Joe Rogan Experience" (thehardtimes.net)
submitted 2 years ago by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social
8 comments fedilink
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Nation Longs For Days When Poverty Mostly Meant Making Monkey Dance On Street For Cash (www.theonion.com)
submitted 2 years ago by Nero@sopuli.xyz to c/theonion@midwest.social
3 comments fedilink
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Nintendo Honors Game Preservation Efforts by Enshrining Names of All Who Attempt It in Lawsuit (hard-drive.net)
submitted 2 years ago by Nero@sopuli.xyz to c/theonion@midwest.social
15 comments fedilink
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Marianne Williamson Successfully Primaries Biden In All 63 Counties Of Astral Plane (www.theonion.com)
submitted 2 years ago by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social
2 comments fedilink
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U.S. Airdrops Rubble Into Gaza (www.theonion.com)
submitted 2 years ago by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social
8 comments fedilink
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We must stop the small boats so we can take care of our own first, insists man furious that taxpayer money is being used to feed hungry schoolchildren (newsthump.com)
submitted 2 years ago by Nero@sopuli.xyz to c/theonion@midwest.social
0 comments fedilink
 
 

The small boats migrant crisis must be stopped immediately, so we can focus on helping our own people first, according to a man who lost his mind when he found out Sadiq Khan wanted to feed hungry school children at the taxpayer’s expense.

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Poilievre says “female spaces” should be reserved for “biological females” and “the men who control them” (www.thebeaverton.com)
submitted 2 years ago by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social
16 comments fedilink
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Christian Man Persecuted Simply For Driving 90 Miles Per Hour In School Zone (www.theonion.com)
submitted 2 years ago by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social
12 comments fedilink
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Defiant Nikki Haley campaign refuses to quit, “we have tonnes of support from our voter” (chaser.com.au)
submitted 2 years ago by Nero@sopuli.xyz to c/theonion@midwest.social
8 comments fedilink
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Zelensky Challenges Putin To Settle Ukraine War On The Dance Floor (www.theonion.com)
submitted 2 years ago by raoulraoul@midwest.social to c/theonion@midwest.social
8 comments fedilink
 
 

Worth it just for the photo!

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'Hundreds Relieved of Existence Following Spirited Mishap at Gaza Food Truck' Writes New York Times Editor About War Crime (thehardtimes.net)
submitted 2 years ago by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social
0 comments fedilink
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Mitch McConnell Donates Body To Lobbyists For Research (www.theonion.com)
submitted 2 years ago by can@sh.itjust.works to c/theonion@midwest.social
0 comments fedilink
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Gen Z Announces Julie Andrews Is Problematic But Refuses To Explain Why (www.theonion.com)
submitted 2 years ago by RobotToaster@mander.xyz to c/theonion@midwest.social
18 comments fedilink
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Litter-Robot Recalls Thousands Of Self-Cleaning Litter Boxes That Accidentally Transported Cats To Year 1300 (www.theonion.com)
submitted 2 years ago by tree@lemmy.zip to c/theonion@midwest.social
5 comments fedilink
 
 

read more: https://www.theonion.com/litter-robot-recalls-thousands-of-self-cleaning-litter-1851286099

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Sasha Obama Accused Of Nepotism After Getting Elected President Of Armenia (www.theonion.com)
submitted 2 years ago by tree@lemmy.zip to c/theonion@midwest.social
6 comments fedilink
 
 

read more: https://www.theonion.com/sasha-obama-accused-of-nepotism-after-getting-elected-p-1851282158

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Gov. Abbott Enlists Texas National Guard to Shoot at Wildfires (thehardtimes.net)
submitted 2 years ago by Nero@sopuli.xyz to c/theonion@midwest.social
18 comments fedilink
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Polish Man That Landlord Sent Over Smashes Hammer Through Wall, Leaves (www.theonion.com)
submitted 2 years ago by The_Picard_Maneuver@lemmy.world to c/theonion@midwest.social
3 comments fedilink
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Conservative Think Tank Spends $40 Million Trying to Frame Girl Scout Cookies as Woke (thehardtimes.net)
submitted 2 years ago by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social
23 comments fedilink
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Top 10 Movies That Have A Climax Involving a Giant Beam in the Sky (hard-drive.net)
submitted 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) by Aatube@kbin.social to c/theonion@midwest.social
11 comments fedilink
 
 

Why was Hollywood so obsessed with sky beams? I mean they cared more about making sky beams evil than making sure we knew how evil their producers were.

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Malfunctioning embryo freezer charged with mass murder (www.thebeaverton.com)
submitted 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) by Nero@sopuli.xyz to c/theonion@midwest.social
7 comments fedilink
 
 

HUNTSVILLE, ALABAMA – Due to recent changes in Alabama state legislation, a malfunctioning embryo freezer has been charged with mass murder.

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Nation Likes It When Hamburger Bun Already Cut (www.theonion.com)
submitted 2 years ago by tree@lemmy.zip to c/theonion@midwest.social
4 comments fedilink
 
 

read more: https://www.theonion.com/nation-likes-it-when-hamburger-bun-already-cut-1851276816

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12-Year-Old Spends Entire Hiking Trip Fantasizing About Which Video Game He’ll Play When He Gets Home (www.theonion.com)
submitted 2 years ago by The_Picard_Maneuver@lemmy.world to c/theonion@midwest.social
48 comments fedilink
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We need The Onion movie (lemmy.zip)
submitted 2 years ago by possiblylinux127@lemmy.zip to c/theonion@midwest.social
8 comments fedilink
 
 

It will be about some family who gets stuck in the world of the Onion.

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