The Onion

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The Onion

A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.

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founded 3 years ago

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seahorse@midwest.social

pbrisgreat@midwest.social

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Trump Avoids Answering Hard Questions By Pretending He Shot In Ear Again (theonion.com)

submitted 11 months ago by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social

2 comments fedilink

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Kamala Harris Tells Donald Trump he Should Smile More (www.seahorseshoe.com)

submitted 11 months ago by ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social

0 comments fedilink

“He should smile more” said a beaming Kamala Harris. “He travels by private jet, won the Donald Trump golf trophy this year, and was the guest of honor in his January 6th fundraising gala. Yet all we see him do is scowl. You get more flies with honey than vinegar.”

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Air Force One Makes Emergency Landing at Dairy Queen (www.duffelblog.com)

submitted 11 months ago by SomeAmateur@sh.itjust.works to c/theonion@midwest.social

7 comments fedilink

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Cybertruck Owner Brags About High-Tech Pedal That Makes Vehicle Accelerate When Pressed (theonion.com)

submitted 11 months ago by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social

10 comments fedilink

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Apple’s Tim Cook to unveil reasons why your current iPhone is already a piece of shit (newsthump.com)

submitted 11 months ago by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social

42 comments fedilink

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'Trans People's Issues Alienate the Working Class,' Says Democrat Who's Never Met Either (reductress.com)

submitted 11 months ago by seahorse@midwest.social to c/theonion@midwest.social

114 comments fedilink

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Trump Campaign Powerless Against Group of Teenage Girls Saying "Ew" (thehardtimes.net)

submitted 11 months ago by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social

26 comments fedilink

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Ezra Levant furious to discover he could have been getting money from Russia this whole time (www.thebeaverton.com)

submitted 11 months ago by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social

4 comments fedilink

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Horrified Taylor Swift Realizes Football Happens Every Year (theonion.com)

submitted 11 months ago by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social

10 comments fedilink

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Switchblade-Wielding Subway Rider Locked In Standoff With Penis-Wielding Subway Rider (theonion.com)

submitted 11 months ago by Midnight@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social

6 comments fedilink

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‘Woke media is harming our children psychologically’, insists man who is perfectly fine with them doing active shooter drills at elementary school (newsthump.com)

submitted 11 months ago by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social

4 comments fedilink

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‘No Way To Prevent This,’ Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens (theonion.com)

submitted 11 months ago by Midnight@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social

124 comments fedilink

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Opinion: Millennials Would Be Able to Afford Homes If They Didn’t Let Older Kids Trick Them Into Giving Up Their Most Valuable Pokémon Cards (hard-drive.net)

submitted 11 months ago by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social

23 comments fedilink

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Elon Musk Threatens ISS Crash Over X Ban (isglitch.com)

submitted 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) by EtAl_isGitch@lemmy.world to c/theonion@midwest.social

8 comments fedilink

SpaceX CEO claims it's "just a prank" in escalating Brazil dispute

!isglitch@lemmy.world

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Opinion: The Fact That the Muppets Only Took Manhattan Means They’ll Never Be “Real” New Yorkers (thehardtimes.net)

submitted 11 months ago by seahorse@midwest.social to c/theonion@midwest.social

6 comments fedilink

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Slippery Slope: Funk Singer Asking You to Give It to Him One Time Probably Going to Ask You to Give It to Him Two Times (thehardtimes.net)

submitted 11 months ago by seahorse@midwest.social to c/theonion@midwest.social

26 comments fedilink

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Donald Trump Promises To Bring Fruitopia Vending Machines Back to Public Schools if Elected in Latest Unhinged Rant (thehardtimes.net)

submitted 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) by seahorse@midwest.social to c/theonion@midwest.social

27 comments fedilink

Until this moment I completely forgot about those things

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Sources Allege Tim Walz’s ‘Aw, Shucks’ Persona Merely Facade Concealing True ‘Gee Whiz’ Tendencies (theonion.com)

submitted 11 months ago by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social

13 comments fedilink

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Cat Scientists Theorize About Third Type Of Food That Neither Wet Nor Dry (theonion.com)

submitted 11 months ago by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social

15 comments fedilink

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'Boneless' pizza can have bones, US court rules (lemmy.ca)

submitted 11 months ago by MindTraveller@lemmy.ca to c/theonion@midwest.social

15 comments fedilink

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Lucky Astronauts Still Stranded in Space During Election Year (thehardtimes.net)

submitted 11 months ago by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social

5 comments fedilink

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Francis Scott Key Estate Sends Cease-And-Desist To Trump For Playing ‘Star-Spangled Banner’ At Rally (theonion.com)

submitted 1 year ago by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social

12 comments fedilink

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Dozens Of Pregnant Women Caught In Hanging Snare Nets Above Texas Hospital Entrance (theonion.com)

submitted 1 year ago by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social

4 comments fedilink

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Trump Calls Out Arlington National Cemetery For Hazard-Filled Fairways (theonion.com)

submitted 1 year ago by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social

10 comments fedilink

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Study: Crows Intelligent Enough To Steal Trinkets, But Foolish Enough To Think Material Goods Will Solve Problems (theonion.com)

submitted 1 year ago by Midnight@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social

12 comments fedilink