The Onion

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The Onion

A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.

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founded 3 years ago
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TSA Face Scanner Sues Identical Twins for "Malicious Algorithm Abuse" (isglitch.com)
submitted 8 months ago by EtAl_isGitch@lemmy.world to c/theonion@midwest.social
8 comments fedilink
 
 

Legal Battle Could Set Precedent for Human-AI Relations, Experts Say

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News Media Struggling To Report Why Gunman Targeted Wealthy CEO Instead of Lashing Out at Immigrants or Women (thehardtimes.net)
submitted 8 months ago by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social
48 comments fedilink
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Notre-Dame Reopened To Fire (theonion.com)
submitted 8 months ago by RmDebArc_5@sh.itjust.works to c/theonion@midwest.social
0 comments fedilink
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Low Folding Chair Pulled Up To Corner Of Mar-A-Lago Conference Table For JD Vance (theonion.com)
submitted 8 months ago by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social
1 comments fedilink
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FDA Recommends Adding Little Tabasco To That Bad Boy (theonion.com)
submitted 8 months ago by srasmus@midwest.social to c/theonion@midwest.social
14 comments fedilink
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Ghosts of Christmas Past, Present & Future Debut Radical New Strategy (hard-drive.net)
submitted 8 months ago by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social
5 comments fedilink
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Here Are All the Games That Merrick Garland Played Instead of Doing His Job (hard-drive.net)
submitted 8 months ago by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social
5 comments fedilink
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Study: More Americans Buying Firearms To Defend Selves From Toddlers Who Found Their Guns [Video] (youtu.be)
submitted 8 months ago by RmDebArc_5@sh.itjust.works to c/theonion@midwest.social
4 comments fedilink
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Joe Biden Pardon’s Hunter After Being Told the Man Is His Son (thehardtimes.net)
submitted 8 months ago by Garibaldee@lemm.ee to c/theonion@midwest.social
6 comments fedilink
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American Express Launches Small Sweatshop Saturday (theonion.com)
submitted 8 months ago by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social
0 comments fedilink
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Anti-woke free-speech advocate disgusted to learn that his bathroom at home is gender neutral (newsthump.com)
submitted 8 months ago by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social
23 comments fedilink
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Child dying from measles just glad he isn't autistic - The Beaverton (www.thebeaverton.com)
submitted 8 months ago by GrymEdm@lemmy.world to c/theonion@midwest.social
4 comments fedilink
 
 

Bartlet, who says he used to enjoy Pokemon, soda, and being alive, tells everyone how great it is to be left totally defenseless against common childhood diseases from the 1940s.

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Study: Overuse Of Hair Detangler Giving Rise To Product-Resistant Supertangles (theonion.com)
submitted 8 months ago by RmDebArc_5@sh.itjust.works to c/theonion@midwest.social
9 comments fedilink
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Amazon's New Warehouse Robot Mocks Workers With Bathroom Breaks (isglitch.com)
submitted 8 months ago by EtAl_isGitch@lemmy.world to c/theonion@midwest.social
3 comments fedilink
 
 

Latest AI Enhancement Includes 'Biological Function Simulation Protocol'

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RFK Jr announces plan to put cocaine back into Coca-Cola (chaser.com.au)
submitted 8 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) by Garibaldee@lemm.ee to c/theonion@midwest.social
41 comments fedilink
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Donald Trump spends afternoon killing all Thanksgiving turkeys pardoned by Joe Biden (newsthump.com)
submitted 8 months ago by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social
5 comments fedilink
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FDA Bans Captain Morgan Rum After Having Way Too Much Of That Shit In College (theonion.com)
submitted 8 months ago by RmDebArc_5@sh.itjust.works to c/theonion@midwest.social
16 comments fedilink
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Report: Most Americans Have Enough Saved For Absolutely Incredible Single Day Of Retirement (theonion.com)
submitted 8 months ago by RmDebArc_5@sh.itjust.works to c/theonion@midwest.social
11 comments fedilink
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Defiant Joe Rogan insists he’s not a propaganda asset, just actually this stupid (www.thebeaverton.com)
submitted 8 months ago by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social
72 comments fedilink
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Conservative Vows to End All Systems of Child Abuse Except Ones That Actually Exist (thehardtimes.net)
submitted 8 months ago by seahorse@midwest.social to c/theonion@midwest.social
8 comments fedilink
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Local Police Department’s Secret Santa Gift Exchange Entirely Made up of Punisher Merch (thehardtimes.net)
submitted 8 months ago by seahorse@midwest.social to c/theonion@midwest.social
3 comments fedilink
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Netanyahu Insists on Crimes Against Humanity During Game Night (thehardtimes.net)
submitted 8 months ago by seahorse@midwest.social to c/theonion@midwest.social
1 comments fedilink
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Dead Bird On Sidewalk Leads Man To Contemplate Own Inevitable Collision With Plate Glass (theonion.com)
submitted 8 months ago by jbk@discuss.tchncs.de to c/theonion@midwest.social
1 comments fedilink
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It Is Journalism’s Sacred Duty To Endanger The Lives Of As Many Trans People As Possible (theonion.com)
submitted 9 months ago by FlyingSquid@lemmy.world to c/theonion@midwest.social
4 comments fedilink
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Misinformation Laws Not Necessary, Says Meth Addict Peter Dutton (theshovel.com.au)
submitted 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social
22 comments fedilink
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