The Onion

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The Onion

A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.

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founded 3 years ago
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listing: all - local
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"Grocery Store’s Meat Section Misted With Fresh Blood Every Few Minutes" (veganism.social)
submitted 2 months ago by veganpizza69@veganism.social to c/theonion@midwest.social
6 comments fedilink
 
 

"Grocery Store’s Meat Section Misted With Fresh Blood Every Few Minutes"

https://theonion.com/grocery-stores-meat-section-misted-with-fresh-blood-every-few-minutes/

by @theonion

#satire

#meat

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New Indiana Law Requires All Porn Viewers To Register As Sex Offenders (theonion.com)
submitted 2 months ago by cm0002@lemmy.world to c/theonion@midwest.social
45 comments fedilink
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Baby Saves Affair (theonion.com)
submitted 3 months ago by TheImpressiveX@lemm.ee to c/theonion@midwest.social
3 comments fedilink
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Grandma AirTagged (theonion.com)
submitted 3 months ago by jbk@discuss.tchncs.de to c/theonion@midwest.social
1 comments fedilink
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Gavin Newsom Sits Down For Podcast With Serial Killer Who Targets Homeless (theonion.com)
submitted 3 months ago by seahorse@midwest.social to c/theonion@midwest.social
7 comments fedilink
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You People Made Me Give Up My Peanut Farm Before I Got To Be President (theonion.com)
submitted 3 months ago by inclementimmigrant@lemmy.world to c/theonion@midwest.social
15 comments fedilink
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Artificial Intelligence Could Never Do My Job, Because It Can’t Microdose Ketamine Before Board Meetings (www.mcsweeneys.net)
submitted 3 months ago by sundray@lemmus.org to c/theonion@midwest.social
2 comments fedilink
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Reaganomics Finally Trickles Down To Area Man (theonion.com)
submitted 3 months ago by jballs@sh.itjust.works to c/theonion@midwest.social
2 comments fedilink
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Clips from the Victory Day Parade in Moscow. (i.imgur.com)
submitted 3 months ago by Cephalotrocity@biglemmowski.win to c/theonion@midwest.social
6 comments fedilink
 
 

Cross-posted from "Clips from the Victory Day Parade in Moscow." by @LaFinlandia@sopuli.xyz in !ukraine@sopuli.xyz

Mirror

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USS Clinton skipper claims he did not have international relations in South China Sea (www.duffelblog.com)
submitted 3 months ago by SomeAmateur@sh.itjust.works to c/theonion@midwest.social
2 comments fedilink
186
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MAGA fans preparing to storm St. Peter’s Basilica should Trump lose conclave (newsthump.com)
submitted 3 months ago by sundray@lemmus.org to c/theonion@midwest.social
30 comments fedilink
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Increasingly Powerful Trans Person Capable Of Using Every Single Bathroom At Once (theonion.com)
submitted 3 months ago by seahorse@midwest.social to c/theonion@midwest.social
42 comments fedilink
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Mark Carney forced to wear Justin Trudeau mask by Melania Trump (infosec.pub)
submitted 3 months ago by Delta_V@lemmy.world to c/theonion@midwest.social
4 comments fedilink
 
 

source

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Vatican’s papal conclave kicks off with heated debate about hottest new choirboy (newsthump.com)
submitted 3 months ago by ZeroCool@lemmy.ca to c/theonion@midwest.social
4 comments fedilink
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Most durable Tesla product (infosec.pub)
submitted 3 months ago by seahorse@midwest.social to c/theonion@midwest.social
10 comments fedilink
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Man Gets Best Ideas In Splash Zone (theonion.com)
submitted 3 months ago by jbk@discuss.tchncs.de to c/theonion@midwest.social
2 comments fedilink
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Hurricane Ashley Expected To Strike Several Bars This Cinco De Mayo (theonion.com)
submitted 3 months ago by seahorse@midwest.social to c/theonion@midwest.social
1 comments fedilink
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Trump Debuts Previously Undiscovered Way to Pronounce “Cinco De Mayo” (thehardtimes.net)
submitted 3 months ago by ZeroCool@lemmy.ca to c/theonion@midwest.social
7 comments fedilink
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Autism: Myth Vs. Fact (theonion.com)
submitted 3 months ago by RmDebArc_5@sh.itjust.works to c/theonion@midwest.social
4 comments fedilink
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Anonymous Hero Donates 200 Kidneys (youtube.com)
submitted 3 months ago by TachyonTele@lemm.ee to c/theonion@midwest.social
4 comments fedilink
 
 

THIS IS JUST THE BEGINNING

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Donald Trump liberates Australia from Peter Dutton (chaser.com.au)
submitted 3 months ago by ZeroCool@lemmy.ca to c/theonion@midwest.social
6 comments fedilink
 
 

In a time honoured tradition, an American president has thrown another country’s election.

This time by installing Anthony Albanese as Australia’s Prime Minister, by making everyone too scared to vote for Peter Dutton.

The expert strategy for the US was focused around them fucking up their own economy and freaking out Aussies into voting for anyone who doesn’t remind them of Trump.

The liberation of Australia went so well that not only did the threat to civilisation’s party lose, he also lost his seat.

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New ICE Agent Establishes Dominance By Beating Up Biggest Child Prisoner On First Day (theonion.com)
submitted 3 months ago by inclementimmigrant@lemmy.world to c/theonion@midwest.social
2 comments fedilink
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RFK Jr. Encourages Americans To Do Their Own Research About Dragons (theonion.com)
submitted 3 months ago by tal@lemmy.today to c/theonion@midwest.social
37 comments fedilink
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Dollar plunges over fears that Donald Trump might do something (newsthump.com)
submitted 3 months ago by ZeroCool@lemmy.ca to c/theonion@midwest.social
7 comments fedilink
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Trump: Russia Must Be Allowed To Keep Fighting As Part Of Any Ceasefire Deal (theonion.com)
submitted 3 months ago by inclementimmigrant@lemmy.world to c/theonion@midwest.social
17 comments fedilink
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