Math Humor

https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Regular_icosahedron&oldid=1219666251#Construction

That happened when Chapaev (officer) and Petka (orderly) completely ran out of money. They couldn't even buy vodka! So they started begging Anka (machine gunner) to, like, "go to the Whites, seduce a couple of them – earn something for us and leave a little to yourself".

It couldn't be helped, Anka had to go. When she came to the Whites' camp, their patrolman called out to her: "Stop! Who's there?". Anka said, she had come to practice the world's oldest profession for any amount of money. The patrolman replied: "Damn, I've got only 15 rubles!". "Okay," – Anka said, – "let's get this done for fifteen".

The soldier enjoyed a lot, praised Anka and recommended her to a lieutenant. The lieutenant was so pleased that he paid 150 rubles and directed Anka to a colonel. The colonel was so delighted that he gave 1500 rubles and brought Anka to a general. The general enjoyed so much that he granted 15000 (!) rubles.

Anka summed up all that money: 15+150+1500+15000 and got a total of 16665 rubles. Then she thought: "If I give everything to Chapaev and Petka, they'll spend all of it on booze and there will be nothing left for our needs". So she hid 10000 somewhere and brought what's left to her division.

Chapaev and Petka were really happy to see how much money Anka has earned! But Chapaev wanted to be sure and asked her: "Hold on, Anka, how many men have you been with?". "Four, Vasiliy Ivanovich," – Anka replied. "Right," – Chapaev said, – "four men have eight balls". He took a piece of paper and drew 8 balls:
0 0 0 0
0 0 0 0

– Anka, were their cocks erect before?
– Yes, Vasiliy Ivanovich, of course! Hard as rock!
Chapaev drew 4 erect cocks:
6 6 6 6

– Afterwards, Anka, did their cocks become flaccid?
– Yes, Vasiliy Ivanovich, of course! Soft as rubber!
Chapaev drew 4 flaccid cocks:
9 9 9 9

– Well, Anka, let's do the math:
0000
+
0000
+
6666
+
9999
=
16665

– Come on, Anka, where are the missing 10000!

Benoit B Mandelbrot.

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Mathematicians… in order to remain alive, you have to keep breathing...and this is an axiom for your system...that you can prove consistently throughout your entire life… so breathe idiots…breathe…

1. When one counts phrases with numbers mathematicians… When one counts phrases with numbers mathematicians, one doesn’t end up with a phrase that makes sense for humans at any time in their history up to now, because if you mathematicians REALLY think otherwise… When one counts phrases with numbers mathematicians, one can end up with a phrase that makes sense for humans at some time in their history up to now, but if you mathematicians think this REALLY makes sense to you… If in the end mathematicians, when one counts phrases with numbers mathematicians, one can end up with a phrase that makes sense for humans at some time in their history up to now, then it doesn’t seem to me that all humans up to now throughout their history made sense by talking to one another honestly and not only by counting one another with numbers without any regard to honesty ever spoken…does it seem to you mathematicians?

2. When numbers happen before words happen, mathematicians, and the rest ones… When numbers happen before words happen, words don’t make sense after numbers happen, or else When numbers happen before words happen, words can make sense after numbers happen, but… If in the end when numbers happen before words happen, words can make sense after numbers happen, then it doesn’t seem to me now what numbers where counting before, that is worth saying…does it seem to you?

3. When numbers happen after words happen, all… When numbers happen after words happen, words make sense before numbers happen, or else When numbers happen after words happen, words don’t make sense before numbers happen, but… If in the end when numbers happen after words happen, words don’t make sense before numbers happen, then it doesn’t seem to me now that numbers make sense to happen after those specific words…does it seem to you?

And remember your MAMA. What is MAMA? MAMA is the rest. What is the rest? The rest is all there is minus you. And who am I? I am no one, I don’t know who the hell you think you are! Why? Cause you ain’t someone, and you ain’t fooling no one buddy.

You need patience to have fun in life players. Why? You need patience to find out why. Why again?! Because you find this out in a funny way, players! Sometimes, it is more fun than what you players can handle at that moment in your life… Sometimes, it is less fun than what you players want at that moment in your life… But, when you are having a good time, then it is just the right amount of fun. And, to find those times players, it comes back to the beginning… You need patience to have fun in life players

More here, players: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100058285818067&sk=photos_albums

Nature is a lady, justice is blind, and… …MAMA in the end puts order.