written march 17, 2016
the confession
steve sat at his desk in english class, thinking about asking snot to the upcoming dance. his heart beat fast and his face turned hot at the thought of snot in his handsome dance clothes. he'll probably look just like a prince, i thought, but even if he likes girls, will he be my prince char-- no. it was too much. he couldn't even finish the thought before he felt like he was going to explode. his face was HOT.
english class went by like a blur as the bell rang, since he wasn't exactly paying attention, which was quite unusual for him of all people.
then, as he went by his locker to get his math textbook, he saw HIM. snot, the prettiest boy in the ninth grade. his heart felt like it was pounding out of his chest and into his throat, just like his head.
"snot!"
snot looked directly into steve's eyes with a look of curiosity. "what is it?"
"will you..." steve looked down at the floor, barely able to be in snot's presence, a tingle in his chest. "will you..." he shut his eyes tightly. "...gotothedancewithme?"
somehow, snot seemed to be able to understand what he said. he blinked, then responded with a smile, having something of a red face himself. "i'd love to, steve."
he reached for steve's hand and managed to grab it. steve took a deep breath, shut his eyes tightly, then opened them again. i'll just go with it, i won't even question it. this... feels nice.
his embarrassment faded, sheer happiness replacing it, as the two boys walked to math class together.
the math teacher, mr. brink, seemed to be in a good mood, since he let the students sit wherever they wanted for that day. steve, of course, wanted to sit next to snot, but couldn't muster up the courage. the thought sent butterflies in his stomach. snot stood up, hesitated, then sat down in the empty chair next to steve. snot seemed to have been thinking the exact same thing but with more courage.
the classroom was pretty quiet, and not a lot of people arrived yet. snot gave steve a warm smile as he sat down. right after, more people arrived and the class was much longer.
"another nice moment ruined," steve grumbled to himself. with so many people in the room, steve and snot couldn't even look at each other in a specific way anyway, as not only would they be pearl bailey high school's nerds, but the school's homos too. although, to be fair, nobody exactly thought steve or snot were straight. especially not steve.
"okay, quiet down, class," announced mr. brink in a powerful, yet understanding voice. "today, you've all finished your math packets, so today is a study hall. you can catch up on homework from other classes and can also talk amongst yourselves..." he paused, "IF you talk in a quiet voice. i shouldn't be able to hear you from the back of the class." his eyes went to jacob and conan, the two troublemakers of the ninth grade.
jacob smiled awkwardly, his eyes widening, and conan stifled a laugh.
and it's those two hooligans who will ruin the moment.
"anyway, now it's time to quietly work, get focused!"
the class went quiet. so quiet, that only the soft clacking of keyboards and the light scratching of pencils against paper could be heard, along with a few whispers.
steve didn't want to work just yet, so he stared at the floor again, making sure not to make eye contact with his best friend.
we can go to the dance as friends, right? that doesn't make me gay. having a crush on a dude? he did a mixture of a laugh and a scoff. that'd be ridiculous. i like women, just like dad raised me. snot's my best friend, i should be comfortable enough to dance with him. i have before at his house but...
he raised his head to look at snot, staring intently at a workbook. this feels different somehow.
steve could hear the light scratching of the pencil against the paper again, and this time the sound felt oddly relaxing. steve took his glasses off and put his head down, closing his eyes for a little while as the sound filled his brain and eardrums. after a while, he no longer heard the pencil scratching, just silence from snot. he turned his head, his face mere inches from snot and blushed.
wow, he's really focused. it really looks like he's not aware of anything. just the book he's reading.
of course, the book happened to be "harry potter and the prisoner of azkaban", a book both boys have already read dozens of times. he put his head down again and felt a smile creep up on his face as he listened to the soft, occasional sound of the pages rustling.
...
steve raised his head slowly, warmth and a bit of sweat pressed against his hand. snot was holding his hand while he slept.
steve actually wasn't sure if he fell asleep or not. all he focused on was the sound of the pages, and when he heard them no more, he either zoned out or fell asleep.
"class is almost over, steve." he leaned in closer. "and i can give all my undivided attention to you."