Dad Jokes

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42 users here now

Description

This is a community for sharing those cheesy “dad” jokes that invoke an eye roll or chuckle.

Rules

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
loopy@lemmy.world
listing: all - local
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Post text, images, or direct links only (lemmy.world)
submitted 2 years ago by loopy@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world
5 comments fedilink
 
 

Please see the updated sidebar. Do not post external links to websites such as Facebook and Instagram.

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Please post edgier jokes to the new Uncle Jokes community (lemmy.world)
submitted 2 years ago by loopy@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world
12 comments fedilink
 
 

I just updated the sidebar. As a rule of thumb, if you cannot tell this joke to a 5-year-old, you should probably post it to the new community !unclejokes@lemmy.world

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What's the difference between ignorance and apathy? (feddit.online)
submitted 55 minutes ago by antler@feddit.online to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world
1 comments fedilink
 
 

Tap for spoilerI don't know and I don't care.

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Why don't penguins worry about polar bears? (lemmy.world)
submitted 1 day ago by jordanlund@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world
5 comments fedilink
 
 

They're polar opposites.

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Garak Todd: The Demon Barbour of Promenade Parkway (infosec.pub)
submitted 2 days ago by FenrirIII@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world
2 comments fedilink
 
 

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/33757730

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Rene Decartes walked into a cafe and ordered a glass of wine. (lemmy.ca)
submitted 2 days ago by Quilotoa@lemmy.ca to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world
1 comments fedilink
 
 

The waiter asked, "Do you want something to eat with that?" He replied, "I think not." The poor guy disappeared.

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I Was Offered A Job At The Fishmonger's... (lemmy.ca)
submitted 2 days ago by slothrop@lemmy.ca to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world
9 comments fedilink
 
 

...But I'm afraid I can't fillet.

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Odds Are Slim That I'll Ever Visit A Casino... (lemmy.ca)
submitted 3 days ago by slothrop@lemmy.ca to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world
10 comments fedilink
 
 

...but I won't roulette out entirely.

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Chuckle (infosec.pub)
submitted 4 days ago by talentedkiwi@sh.itjust.works to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world
1 comments fedilink
 
 

cross-posted from: https://piefed.blahaj.zone/post/192811

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What do you often find Punny? (infosec.pub)
submitted 4 days ago by Hatshepsut@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world
1 comments fedilink
 
 

cross-posted from: https://torishiro.com/notes/aas0771oukb100sr

What do you often find Punny?

@memes@lemmy.world #maths #jokes

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I Bought A Wig Today For Only A Dollar. (lemmy.ca)
submitted 4 days ago by slothrop@lemmy.ca to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world
2 comments fedilink
 
 

It was a small price toupée.

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I don't like Orion's Belt. (sh.itjust.works)
submitted 5 days ago by Susaga@sh.itjust.works to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world
6 comments fedilink
 
 

It's a complete waist of space.

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Inside of you there are two wolves, according to proverb. (lazysoci.al)
submitted 5 days ago by ZDL@lazysoci.al to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world
3 comments fedilink
 
 

Inside of Mozart, however, there were, like, eleven or twelve.

…drum roll please…That's why he was called Wolfgang.

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I'm a huge fan of tower clocks. (lazysoci.al)
submitted 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) by ZDL@lazysoci.al to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world
0 comments fedilink
 
 

…brace for impact…Big time.

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My sister got mad and threw my phone out the window. (sh.itjust.works)
submitted 1 week ago by kersploosh@sh.itjust.works to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world
2 comments fedilink
 
 

Joke's on her. It's in airplane mode.

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I like wild game, but I find moose tastes a lot like chocolate pudding. (lemmy.ca)
submitted 1 week ago by Quilotoa@lemmy.ca to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world
2 comments fedilink
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So this is math, is it? (infosec.pub)
submitted 1 week ago by ZDL@lazysoci.al to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world
36 comments fedilink
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Exercise is imporant (infosec.pub)
submitted 1 week ago by FenrirIII@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world
3 comments fedilink
 
 

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/33318063

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Never buy a dog from a locksmith (sh.itjust.works)
submitted 1 week ago by brown567@sh.itjust.works to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world
3 comments fedilink
 
 

As soon as you bring it home, it'll make a bolt for the door

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Did you hear about the butcher who backed into his grinder? (lemmy.dbzer0.com)
submitted 2 weeks ago by Melatonin@lemmy.dbzer0.com to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world
2 comments fedilink
 
 

He got a little behind in his work.

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I'm friends with only 25 of the letters of the alphabet. (lazysoci.al)
submitted 2 weeks ago by ZDL@lazysoci.al to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world
14 comments fedilink
 
 

:::spoiler I don't know why. :::

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What do bees say in the summer? (lemmy.world)
submitted 2 weeks ago by Tugboater203@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world
2 comments fedilink
 
 

"Swarm, isn't it?"

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What is green, looks like grass and has wheels? (lemmy.world)
submitted 2 weeks ago by nebulaone@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world
10 comments fedilink
 
 

spoilerGrass, I lied about the wheels.

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Why don't they put advertisements on the Hulk? (swg-empire.de)
submitted 2 weeks ago by bjoern_tantau@swg-empire.de to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world
2 comments fedilink
 
 

SpoilerHe's basically a giant Banner.

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I get upset when people say age is only a number....... (lemmy.world)
submitted 2 weeks ago by Tugboater203@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world
6 comments fedilink
 
 

Clearly age is a word

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