Crazy Ideas

And the price? So good, it's to die for!

Metformin tastes horrible, which is a problem I think this could solve

I may be a little high

I know damn well what I wrote.

Saw Superman at the theater the other day and decided the best thing about the 'theatre experience' was the commitment

imagine getting matching ones for each pet you have and by the time im like 80 (if I live past my 20s that is) I light up a vet scanner like a Christmas tree.

"Tonight on QUEEF WATCH! We take a look at various queefs across the city, and ask bartenders if they can identify their patrons by the sound of their queef!

cut to clip

queef noise

"That was Laura."

queef noise

"That was Britney."

queef noise

"That was Abby."

"And later on the show, we'll be interviewing three generations of women. A woman, a daughter, and a grand daughter to find out which generation has the superior queef!"

"Wouldn't all of them be daughters though? Every woman is SOMEBODIES daughter..."

"Well, yeah, but I said it like that so you got a sense of the generations"

"Yeah, I get that, but it's still a weird thing to say. It distracts more than it attracts."

queef noise

"That was Amber."

So what you do is you stand on the side of the road, in a cardboard box/lemonaid stand, and it's painted with a sign that says "Join cult here".

Then you go on to tell everyone who's interested in joining that you'd be interested in taking over their daily autonomy, so that you may control what they think, what they do, when they pee, when they sleep, you control their wallet, you control their sex life, their love life, their marriage, everything. You control every aspect of their life, and all they have to do is obey and worship.

Then you hand them a clipboard with an application and a pen on a chain.

At no point do you try to deceive them. You openly tell them that your intentions are to abuse them, take their money, and have them worship false idols, namely you, while you take advantage of them and their family for the rest of their lives. Which if history has taught us anything, will probably end in a mass suicide in some sort of religious ritual.

Then just amass an army of people who joined for whatever reason. What could go wrong?

Sponsered by Tyson chicken. And Mike Tyson punches Neil every time he makes a point. But Neil defends Pluto not being a planet anymore after every point he makes.

C'mon Adult Swim! Greenlight this idea! It wouldn't be the first time you had Mike Tyson on a crazy ass show on your network!

would be pretty funny

Actual genuine tutorial video on how to do car maintenance. It's an actual real tutorial on how to change your oil, and spark plugs. But then the instructor takes off his pants, and has sex with the woman who brought her car in for servicing. And the other customers waiting in the lobby start playing cheesy saxophone music.

And then the pizza delivery guy enters to deliver a hot and ready sausage.

Do you really think you'd get this kind of experience just going to the library??? I mean sure, maybe you find a book....and yeah, the book may teach you the same things. But then what about the sex? I mean maybe you find a sexy librarian, and maybe she has some sexy glasses and a knee high tight skirt, and suspenders......and maybe the other people in the library start playing cheesy saxophone music BUT THEN SHE SHUSH'S THEM!!!!

you could have a saw fingernail for cutting wood, a file fingernail for fileing, a razor fingernail for cutting, and an axe fingernail for chopping your wood.
the design is very human 🥰

The people of California will be united again! California will be whole once more!

Orange juice but dyed blue

Here are the reasons why:

1. It will be much quieter
2. It sounds nicer
3. If you get angry and ring your bell at someone it just sounds silly

I might be high

Ok, so here's what you do.

Step 1) You take out a sketchpad. You come up with concept art for an outfit/costume you can wear to parties. This costume is not something based on other influences. It's not something that's kind of like something else. It's not something that you'd say "Oh, this would belong on this tv show, or movie". It's completely unique. It stands out. It has a presence all in it's own. You wear it, and it looks good on you, and people remember the outfit. If Spiderman were real, and he just showed up to a party, you'd be like "Whoa, look at THAT guy!". Your costume doesn't need a mask, and in fact would probably be way better without a mask. Just a guy/girl at a party, doing their thing, and completely stealing the show just by being there. That's step 1. Buckle up, because it only gets crazier from here.

Step B) Hire about 10 people to walk everywhere with you. Like an entourage. Have them basically simp you in public. Except the idea is that nobody knows they're paid actors. From the general publics point of view, you're just some guy at a party, and these people love you for some undefined reason.

Step ∆) Now you release T-Shirts of you. And your simps all have the released T-Shirt on. And now you also hire another 10-100 actors. These ones will NOT hang around you as if they're in your circle. These new actors just spread out amongst the party. And they too are also wearing your new T-Shirt. So now there's 10 people all wearing the same shirt, all following you around, and another 10-100 people all single, and drifting about the party, all wearing that shirt. So now it looks like your inner circle love you, but so do the general public. And these shirts can be purchased for $80 each.

Now do this same set of steps every weekend, at every party, and really fuck with peoples perception of what the fuck is going on? All these people bought an $80 T-shirt for some guy? What is happening right now, and also, who IS that guy? You could also adopt a stupid show name, like Princess StinkyPooButt. Even though you're a 6'1 250lb guy with a beard and no legs.

And now the question becomes: "Will idiots buy an $80 T-shirt of absolutely nothing?"

As I look around the world today, I see a lot of idiots. I like my chances that I'm going to sell some stupidly overpriced T-Shirts of bullshit.

It would show one of the Cox internet installation technicians as he has various shots of him doing his job, but also talking to the camera. He's the traditional image of what women want is. He's like 6'5, 320lbs of muscle.

"Here at Cox, we've been installing more homes with Cox high speed internet service, and connecting more people to the web. That means more photos, more videos, more video games, and more connections all across the county! With services like Zoom video conferencing more Cox customers are able to work from home than ever before. Bringing more people together by putting Cox services inside your home, inside your life, and inside of you. With an entire internet to explore, billions of websites, apps, home automation, and so much more. With so many pricing options, won't you let us put our Cox inside you?"

Then it cuts to two other Cox techs out by the van outside, getting a ladder. And the one guy says "Is Tom hard at work in there?" and the other guy replies "He literally might be..."