Thank you for keeping feddit.uk going. Ronnie, Myles and I wish you and yours Merry Christmas.

Now I have to hope to the god that is part of my new official state religion (do I need to have the local vicar over for tea when I move?) that someone over there hires me soon. Amazingly, people want to interview me.

The goal is to get the fuck out of America with my daughter before Trump is inaugurated. No specific plan of where to move, just wherever I get a job. We will move to the Falklands if we have to.

It feels so close now.

How do you shred a tyre on a mobility scooter?

So who's trying this first?

NPC reaction comic. panel 1: guy 1 says "Starmer didn't pledge to fix immigration". Panel 2: other guy replies "He pledged to fix the problems you blame on immigration". Panel 3: guy 1 is quiet. Panel 4: guy 1 is angry.

The names followed by the average asking price for a home and the average asking rent per month:

1. Woodbridge, East of England, £441,569, £1,478
2. Richmond upon Thames, London, £939,329, £3,131
3. Hexham, North East, £313,147, £840
4. Monmouth, Wales, £320,974, £1,335
5. Harrogate, Yorkshire and the Humber, £394,312, £1,439
6. Skipton, Yorkshire and the Humber, £263,479, £1,030
7. Sevenoaks, South East, £881,061, £2,924
8. Leigh on Sea, East of England, £465,542, £1,796
9. Cirencester, South West, £384,013, £1,495
10. Wokingham, South East, £590,949, £2,120
11. Winchester, South East, £578,760, £2,069
12. Stirling, Scotland, £214,441, £1,227
13. Stratford-upon- Avon, West Midlands, £413,115, £1,604
14. Horsham, South East, £458,641, £1,983
15. Kendal, North West, £285,645, £966
16. Kensington and Chelsea, London, £1,667,573, £5,345
17. Chorley, North West, £197,199, £883
18. Hove, South East, £555,193, £1,993
19. Wandsworth, London, £865,205, £3,159
20. Hitchin, East of England, £510,612, £1,730

Now this is the important information we need!

The tale of the tape:

• Quality Street - 600g, 66 chocs, +2
• Celebrations - 550g, 60 chocs, -5
• Roses - 550g, 51 chocs, -3
• Heroes - 550g, 59 chocs, +3

All retail at £6.

However, with Heroes there is a caveat:

With a total of 59 chocolates, this year’s tin marked a return to form with the mini versions of Twirl returning once again. For the last two years, the miniature chocolates were replaced altogether with two full-sized Twirl fingers due to disruption in its supply chain.

...

Last year's Heroes tin contained 56 chocolates - meaning it's the only one of the four to have upped its number this year, but, really, that is due to the fact that we had two full-size Twirl fingers last year instead.

So they replaced 2 full-size Twirls with 5 mini ones.

The conclusion:

If we’re going purely on tin size and the amount of chocolates inside, the clear winner in terms of value-for-money here has to be Quality Street as it has the most choice, the most contents and the biggest tin.

On the opposite side of the scale, Roses had the lowest amount of chocolates inside at 51 - but it didn’t have the least choice of flavours. Celebrations had the least choice with just eight different chocolates inside - but, in a redeeming factor, it did also have the second most chocolates inside (60).

However, you are probably going to go with the one that contains your favourite chocolates. Even if it's a present for someone else.

Just a little bit excited to see Myles on the stage tonight.

Aren't you all surprised by them blocking public rights of way and trying to intimidate anyone who says they should live by the same rules as the rest of us?

My in-laws are at me again for what I want for Christmas. They're very big on gifts. I mostly want some new joy cons for my Switch because mine have surrendered to stick drift. I can't believe they don't sell plain black ones any more.

Anyway, if you're blessed with relatives like mine it's time to start writing your list to Father Christmas even though you're in your thirties and own your own home.

What are you after?

I am emigrating from the U.S. because my daughter is queer and I don't think she is safe under Trump. She won't be totally safe in the UK either, I understand that, but it's as safe as I can get her right now.

As I said, I can legally work in the UK. I have citizenship through my father. I am applying right and left, but any additional help would be really wonderful. I've been going to some recommended sites- Indeed, Glassdoor, Guardian Jobs and the UK government's job websites, but I am hoping someone here might also have connections because I really don't want to deplete our savings and whatever we get from selling things like my car while I look for work.

I have spent most of my professional life in the video and audio production industries. I had my own small post-production studio in Los Angeles for 10 years. I have worked as a video editor, audio editor and sound designer for multiple prestigious clients and also for some low-budget film companies.

I also have experience as a news videographer, I've done a lot of TV and radio advertising work, and I have an impressive list of people I've done voice over work for (I specialize in characters and accents).

On top of that, although this is not on my CV because it generally doesn't lead to work, I have 15 years' experience doing standup comedy and comedy writing. I never got famous, but I almost got to be a part of a reboot of National Lampoon Magazine which ended up never happening, so that was cool.

Anyway, if anyone here can help me out, I will happily send you my CV. Obviously, I'm not going to doxx myself and put it here on Lemmy, but if you send me a PM with an email address, I can send it there.

Thanks.

Just in case anyone wanted an update on the preservation efforts of the giant spiders....

Ok, never done this before, and being a bloke, struggle to ask for help. I guess I'm hoping for some advice and to just get it off my chest. I've created a new account for this, for which it will shortly become obvious why.

I've got myself addicted to cocaine.

There, said it.

About a year ago, I went on a Stag with some relatively new friends. That was when I bought coke for the first time. I've used very occasionally in the past, but never actually bought any for myself. There was no pressure, I guess I just wanted to have fun and boost my confidence with new friends and some people I'd not met.

A month or so later, I had another night out and thought it'd be fun to buy some more. Then I bought more... And more... And more.

I'm now buying pretty much weekly and keep telling myself that this will be the last lot. Obviously, it never is! I'm now just doing it at home, not even when going out anymore.

Life should be good, I've got a great wife, 2 lovely kids, a nice house and a stable job. It just feels like something, I don't know, is missing? I feel like I should be happy, but for some reason I'm actually not. I'm approaching mid 40s, so I guess it could be a mid life crisis!

Luckily I earn fairly well, so I've not got myself in any real money issues yet, but I need to stop. My wife doesn't know, but I am not being a good husband at the moment. My family is everything to me, and I worry I will if I tell my wife.

Wtf to do?!

A report that dives into the good, the bad, and the distinctiveness of Brand Britain. After five changes of brand leader in eight years, not to mention all the events in between, how's the brand looking? Does ‘Britishness’ still have that distinctive edge? And, what’s the impact, if any, that Brand Britain has on British brands?

Expert information, insight and analysis brought to you by British Chamber of Commerce x Ipsos x JKR.

For me it would be where the sun is shining, the house is tidy and there's no chores to do.

Start off with a decent breakfast and a decent mug of coffee. I'd have had my run the previous day so can rest a bit. Maybe head out for a walk, grab some lunch at the local garden centre. I've just redownloaded the game Ingress after not playing it for years, so maybe play that for a couple of hours.

Get home and watch the F1 while I prepare and cook a lasagne in the afternoon. Smash said lasagne with a glass or two of a nice red wine and then spend the evening playing Minecraft for a few hours, then an hour or two of reading before bed.

The reality though is far different as I have two young kids!