I'm slightly disappointed with the explanation given and had hoped that these were actually the ghost markings of our late monarch coming back to tell us to mind the gip.

Lamb, rosemary and garlic is a match made in heaven. The only thing to do now is wait for several hours, and perhaps down a glass or three of red.

One in five of millions of people watch pornography during the working day, according to the UK’s media watchdog.

The Ofcom study revealed that 21 per cent of 13.8 million people watch online pornography between 9am and 5.30pm for an average of 55 minutes.

The regulator said it was unclear whether this was because of more people working from home as there were not previous figures to compare with.

Adults only spent more time watching pornography between midnight and 9am, with 59 minutes on average, according to the study. Seventy-three per cent of those doing so were men.

Just in time 🍻 🍻 🍻

ive got this bastard twitchy eye. Possibly too much screen time, its driving me nuts. Does anyone know wtf to do

Never change, Guardian

The UK faces a Ferrero Rocher shortage over Christmas, a union has warned, after staff at a major chocolate factory voted to strike.

Cargill Cocoa and Chocolate is one of the UK’s largest supplier of coco products to the confectionary industry, including to the manufacturers of Ferrero Rocher.

But now staff at the confectionary giant’s site in Worksop – which houses a production line churning out tens of thousands of tonnes of chocolate each year – have voted to take industrial action.

“The spectre of Christmas without this beloved yuletide treat would be devastating,” said Cameron Mitchell, a regional organiser at the GMB union.

“That’s exactly what’s on the cards if company bosses don’t act urgently to avoid strike action.

Nestlé has announced the discontinuation of a second chocolate bar just hours after chocolate fans were told the iconic Caramac bar was being axed.

Now, the confectionary company has dealt a further blow to sweet-toothed Brits and has decided to stop manufacturing Animal Bars.

...

Fans of the chocolate took to social media to express their grief. One said Nestlé had “gone too far” while another said the discontinuation marks “the downfall of the UK”.

1. 12 days - ill be needing the full calender
2. the word ‘sharing’ is a bit ambitious

Is there some kind of club I can join? I’ll have bins for the sellotapes, I’ll have bins for the plyers and the additional plyers. I’ll have a pot for the adjustable arm, and somewhere to put the unfeasibly small bags of ikea spare screws contained 1 or 2 small plastic fittings.

Is it acceptable to keep council letters and semi official looking paperwork in these? I mean your passport goes somewhere a bit more hidden but I’d like to see someone try to find my passport in one of these bad boys.

Forget all that Fourth Horseman malarkey in the rest of the world, here's the real news:

Chocolate lovers say they are heartbroken after Nestlé announced the axing of the iconic Caramac bar.

After more than 60 years as a staple on confectionary shelves, Nestlé revealed on Wednesday it was axing the caramel treats. The name Caramac is an abbreviation of caramel and Mackintosh’s, in reference to the company that originally manufactured them.

The brand revealed the decision was taken after a steady decline in sales over the years.

...

Taking to social media to share their upset, Caramac lovers hoped the news wasn’t true. One X user posted: “Caramac being discontinued Is this some sort of sick joke @NestleUKI?”

Nestle replied: “We're sorry to hear you're disappointed. Unfortunately it wasn't as popular as others in the range, so it's been discontinued.” The confectionary brand reassured another user that Toffee Crisp and Animal Bars were still available after she raised concerns the bars were also being axed.

One Caramac fanatic said they had resorted to stockpiling the caramel treats.

“So it’s a sad day, it’s official, there will be no more Caramac bars off the production line, it’s been cancelled so I bought as many boxes as I could,” they wrote. “They should last a while (I hope) but once they are gone, there will be no more caramac eclairs! And no caramilk or Milkybar gold are not the same!!! #dontcancelmycaramac”

Marc Colman from Folkestone added: “My life is no longer complete. Nestle have discontinued Caramac bars, not happy.”

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While all the losers lurk?

I'm a simple man.

Toast (wholemeal). Baked Beans (Sainsbury's own brand). Egg (fried). Brown Sauce.

Cup of tea on the side.

Lovely.

Who wants one? Sainsbury's own brand only I'm afraid. Cost of living and all that.

Correct me if I got anything wrong, TA!

only in the UK...