Me first!

I'm extremely heterosexual.

All of my Iraqi Dinars I had stored in a vault in Sichuan have been seized. My collection was valued at $2.2 million once Trump revalues the currency. Also my Steam account with over $60,000 in eroge games is in the hands of the CCP.

Please pray for me.

Me, laughing, points at passing seagull: "thesis"

You:

Me, points at passing fish: "antithesis"

You:

Me, points at passing penguin: "synthesis"

You:

Transphobe: "Yeah, of course a LIBERAL like you has... has... uhmm... you have... uhhh... you have... y'know..."

Transfeminist: "It's OK, take your time."

[Transphobe squints, trying to figure out what he's looking at]

[Transfeminist mouths something as a hint, but transphobe isn't sure whether she just mouthed "purple" or "it's blue" so it didn't help]

Transphobe: "...hhhhair??? and pronouns???"

I'd do it for $5 if I could wash my hands immediately after. Otherwise I'd charge a lot more, depending on circumstances.

Still brianstorming a gender-neutral variant.

"I check Huffington Post AND Drudge Report, daily"

Piss

What believes in doesn't count as ideology.

farrrrrrt

...I've had sunstroke in the arctic and a swim in Timbuktu

I've seen unicorns in Burma and a yeti in Nepal

And I've danced with ten-foot pygmies in a Montezuma hall

I've met the king of China and the working Yorkshire miner

But I've never met a nice Israeli

[Chorus] No, he's never met a nice Israeli

And that's bad hasbara, man

'Cause we're a bunch of settler colonialists

Who burn down villages

I once got served in Woolies after less than four week's wait

I had lunch with Rowan Atkinson when he paid and wasn't late

I know a public swimming bath where they don't piss in the pool

I know a guy who got a job straight after leaving school

I've met a normal merman, and a fairly modest German

But I've never met a nice Israeli

[Chorus] No, he's never met a nice Israeli

And that's bad hasbara, man

'Cause we're a bunch of talentless murderers

Who live stream massacres

I've had a close encounter of the 22nd kind

That's when an alien spaceship disappears up your behind

I've got directory inquiries after less than forty rings

I've even heard a decent song by Paul McCartney's Wings

I've seen a flying pig in a quite convincing wig

But I've never met a nice Israeli

[Chorus] No, he's never met a nice Israeli

And that's bad hasbara, man

'Cause we're a bunch of ignorant imperialists

With no sense of shame

I've met the Loch Ness monster and he looks like Fred Astaire

At the BBC in London he's the chief commissionaire

I know a place in Glasgow which is rife with daffodillies

I met a man in Kathmandu who claimed to have two willies

I've had a nice pot noodle, but I've never had a poodle

And I've never met a nice Israeli

[Chorus] No, he's never met a nice Israeli

And that's not bloody surprising, man

Because we've never met one either

Except for Ilan Pappé, and he's been detained in Detroit

Yes, he's quite a nice Israeli

And he's hardly ever killed anyone

And he's not build any settlements at all

That's why we try to put him prison

If this petition gwts (10) tean beanis I will dm the president of beanisposting

Edit: the petition has hit the minimum, keep your eyes peeled for big changes soon

Super Goon Me

Why yes, I am referencing Toki Pona and Vocaloid in the same post! Surprised?

I bought her the Cybertruck kids coloring book and she never opened it or colored any of the beautiful pages that had portraits of Elon. She called me "cringe" to my face and also behind my back (no doubt a word she learned from her b*tch mother, my ex wife). Bros, what do I do to win her over? Should I buy her an NFT?