Asexual

i wanted to ask here because maybe you could help me figure it out even if i’m the only one who would truly know.

Sometimes I tend to feel some type of way during this sort of holiday. So I thought I would give everyone a shout-out. This community doesn't seem particularly active. Not sure if there are bigger ace communities on Lemmy that I'm not aware of.

But I hope you all have a great Friday and weekend. :)

Me: ND, asexual (?aegosexual?demisexual?)

Credit

You are seen, you are valid.

-2 to stealth rolls.

I've recently met a man whose dating profile said that he's Graysexual. I tried Googling the term, but it's a bit confusing and I'm hoping to get a straightforward breakdown from the kind folks in this community.

From what I gather, it's a branch of asexuality that sometimes feels sexual attraction. That's a bit ambiguous, though.

I will ask the person directly once we've spoken more, but it will help to have a foundation of understanding beforehand. Thanks ahead of time!

First of i am very sex repulsed. It triggers some trauma (i am very sure i am ace anyway tho).

Seeing people sexualising themselfs or others is the worst for me. it can literally end the day for me, because i have to stay in bed for the rest of the day trying to deal with the emotions. So naturally i try to avoid that. all my friends are very suportive. On the internet i obviously dont go to places where such things might be. today i way watching roadrage videos. should be save enough right? ofc not. because some people gotta but sexualising content literally everywhere. The otherday i looked for chess openings. found a guide who ??? sexualised the chess pieces???

i am just tired. nsfw already has the majority of internet traffic. cant i just have some small portion where i can feel save?

I know i am an extreme case but it just feels so darn isolating. i am scared of joining any discord server. i used to my partner check subreddits (thankfull lemmy seems to be less bad in this regard) before joining. the internet gives potential for so much community especially for an introvert like me. but beeing so very sex repulsed locks me out of those communitys right away.

Thanks for reading. I dont think there is help or a solution. I just needed to rant to someone.

cross-posted from: c/undertale_deltarune

https://www.tumblr.com/hoagiesnadwich/752057984033669120/happy-pride-have-some-more-penpals-art-also

cross-posted from: https://mander.xyz/post/12578601

This account will be used to moderate !asexual@lemmy.world. I hope everyone enjoys the garlic bread!

Be aware!

Ok so it is Tumblr so of course the audience is skewed but even in non-straight circles this is a rare sight!

I've been having a dought. It's a small nagging one but it's there.

I've been working a lot with my therapist on self hate issues, but I can acknowledge them.

I realized I can never really be in any kind of physical relationship with somone because of this. I'm repulsed by myself and perhaps my asexuality is just a result of that.

I wonder if I am so repulsed by myself that the idea of me being with anyone is rejected because of the "me" part and not how I feel towards others. Where some may think "I want to kiss that person" I can't bare the thought if subjecting somone to me in that way. And therefore the thought is gross.

Does anyone else deal with this? Any advice?

The reason I wanted to post this is because I want to remind others that the only thing that matters is the now and then.

Why? I was not always asexual, and it has been over 10 years since I experienced confirmed feelings of being sexually attracted. No trauma, my hormones levels are the same as other people's, and no confusion as in I can look back and confirm that I did experienced it. Essentially, my sexuality has literally changed on it own over a decade ago. I can't explain why my sexual orientation simply changed on it own, but it did.

With that being said, I would be lying if I say I am gray-sexual as it implies a chance. It would be lying to say I has been always asexual as I can't simply explain away what I felt and that gets more true as I try to question it.

So, I was allosexual. I'll remain asexual for the rest of my life. I can't change that. That's my future. I did not chose that.

It starts tomorrow 22 Oct 23.

I see you all...

Have a good week!

Edit: To the downvoters, I wouldn't mind so much if I was the bottom of the barrel poster here. But I seem to be one of the very few.

So, a challenge: if you think you can make better content to help this community, post.

How am I supposed to date as an asexual introverted 24 y/o man? Been on dating apps for months and I haven't gotten a single match, and going out to meet ppl scares me... Am I doomed?