Not The Onion

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We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

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Look, I get it. The gargantuan shit-show that is U.S. politics and the American descent into fascism is on everyone's minds. It's certainly on mine.

But the point of this community is to highlight weird news stories that make you go, "By golly, I thought I was reading a headline from The Onion. You know, America's finest news source." A lot of stories being posted lately don't even remotely fit that.

That doesn't mean political stories aren't allowed here, but they must have headlines that would make people pause and wonder if it's a story from The Onion. Straight up regular, non Onion-y headlines don't fit.

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Thilly proceeded to ask if anyone wanted to see him perform a backspin. When no one responded, he laid on the ground, lifted his feet and spun several times. As he danced, the crowd stayed silent

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A bizarre incident involving a mentally ill woman recently occurred at a store in Geoje, South Gyeongsang Province, where the suspect, wielding knives and wearing a cat mask, threatened employees and customers, including small children.

When the police arrested her and asked why she did it, she answered "meow" and said, "Can't tell you that, meow."

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cross-posted from: https://lemmy.ca/post/50941199

Archive/mirror: https://archive.ph/qQpPM

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cross-posted from: https://lemmy.zip/post/47803911

Lmao

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A Florida man was arrested after a meetup with a woman he met on a dating app turned violent when he allegedly ran over her after she refused to allow him to smell her feet, police say.

It happened around 2 p.m. on August 24 at the Serena Hotel in Aventura, about 20 miles north of Miami.

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"The surveillance, theft and death machine recommends more surveillance to balance out the death."

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Border patrol officers swoop in, make arrests as firefighters prepare to tackle 3,600-hectare blaze in Washington State.

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You only had one job. One ‘patriot’ painted their St George’s Cross spectacularly wrong, inverting the colours, leaving their decorative roundabout with a more Scandinavian feel. In the excitement of national pride that has reached fever pitch in recent days, one Englishman accidentally pledged their allegiance to Denmark. Drivers near the Newton Farm roundabout in Hereford may have been a bit confused while passing the Danish flag (Picture: SWNS)

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cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/35095129

Peter Thiel's Antichrist Antics Continue

Just when you thought it couldn’t get any weirder, Peter Thiel has announced plans to deliver a four-part lecture series on the Antichrist. These unusual events will take place at the Commonwealth Club of San Francisco on four days in September and October.

Thiel, one of the most influential tech billionaires of our time, seems intent on forcing us to discuss the Antichrist. He is clearly trying to make a point. But what is that point?

Thiel’s lecture series won’t provide any clues to the public—it’s off the record. He’ll be delivering his lectures to an exclusive group of Antichrist-curious tech acolytes in a highly-controlled atmosphere.

Here’s the thing: this isn't really about religion. It’s about power and politics, wrapped in theological language. Thiel has long been fascinated with political theorist Carl Schmitt's ideas about “political theology”—the notion that all significant political concepts are secularized theological concepts.

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I bet it required a lot of research at several local taverns.

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